Looking after Ben for the past week has honestly been a huge chore. I’m not saying that I don’t love him, because he’s still my brother and all, but he’s seriously got to get his act together. I know he’s struggling, and I know it’s my job as his sister to care, but I can’t stand to see him damage himself more and more every day. I’m not being unsympathetic; I’m being real.

As I was getting ready to nod off sitting in front of a bathroom all night for my brother, Dad tapped me on the shoulder. He wasn’t really great at getting your attention unless he did that or shouted. He was easy to accidentally ignore.

“Hey,” he said. “Is your brother asleep?”

“I think so?” I said uncertainly, yawning. “Why?”

“Let’s go to my office. I want to talk to you about something.”

Huh, that’s weird. Dad never wanted to talk about anything. Well, it’s more he never needed to have those private talks usually. Although, the one he had with me when he pulled me aside in the hospital was a first. I followed him to the little guest room he called his office that he worked in most of the day for peace and quiet. He sat down in the rolly chair in front of the small desk with his computer, keyboard, and mouse on it.

“I know you care a lot about your brother,” Dad started. “Right?”

“Mhm,” I said with a nod.

“I’ll admit he doesn’t open up to me like he does to you or Diane,” he sighed. “So I need you to do something for me. Well, something for us all.”

I raised my eyebrow, curious.

“Your mother is having some… problems return-”

“She’s in another relapse?” I asked. “I’m guessing it’s not a coincidence it’s happening at the same time as Ben’s problems, is it?”

“Well…” Dad sighed. “I don’t think so, but I’ve got my hands tied up between my job and your mother that I can’t keep a good eye on your brother. And I can’t have your mom looking after him all the time to neglect herself, so-”

“You want me to make sure Ben keeps his food down?” I finished.

“Yeah,” he said. Then he took a deep breath and leaned in. “Listen, Sophie, don’t blame Ben or your mother, or anyone for their problems. It doesn’t do anything to help them.”

“But Dad, Ben needs to know that what he’s doing is his choice, and that he can stop any time he wants!”

“It’s not that easy,” Dad said. “They’re not the ones in control. You can’t expect them to be able to just take care of their problems, themselves, all on their own. You can’t make them just suddenly-“

“Sorry Dad, but no.” I said, shaking my head, slightly pissed. “Ben needs to learn to grow up and stop hurting himself! Mom especially needs to after all these years of hurting herself and others!”

“Being narrow minded doesn’t do anyone any favors!” Dad countered. “Your family needs your help, and we need to do our best to help them!”

“You know dad, I agree with you there,” I said, looking down at him. “We do need to get them help, but not however you’re doing it.”

“I think I’ve been doing this longer than you.”

“Yeah, and how’s that worked out with Mom? How better is she since you’ve tried it your way?”

Dad looked stunned that I went that far. Hell, I think I was surprised that I went that far. I know that Dad was always trying his hardest to help Mom and get her to eat, but I hated those days when I could see that look in her eyes. That look that, even though everyone loves her and wants to see her better, she doesn’t care about any shot of recovery. I hated when she did it, and I hated that it was all I saw in Ben these days. I loved them, and that’s the only reason why I hate them with a burning passion when they hurt themselves like that.

“Sophie,” Dad said slowly. “Look after your brother. I’m asking you to do no more or less with your brother than I do for your mother.”

“Well good luck,” I said, leaving the small office. “I’m not letting mine cling to his eating disorder for two decades.”

Oh yeah, I’ll probably get some kind of punishment for that later. I don’t care though. It felt good to finally let that loose. I was going to make sure Ben was cured, and it was going to be because he wanted it, not me. I know that’s the only way he won’t go back.

“Sophie… you’re a hero in his eyes,” Dad said before I closed the door. “Let him keep seeing it.”

I really wished Dad would save the poetry for the page sometimes. I’ve never met a guy as emotional as him yet. Although, it looked like he wanted to still say something to me when I left him. Probably was going to say something about how I was out of line, but I didn’t care all that much. He just looked kinda sad and concerned at me. Maybe he knew I was kind of struggling in some way, but just couldn’t figure out that the family and my friends were kind of stretching me thin.

On my way back, I noticed the bathroom light was on. Maybe it was just Mom, but I’m fairly sure I would’ve heard her bang her elbow on the walls at least once. She’s got the worst night vision I’ve ever seen. I’m not about to just take any chances though. I threw open the door and saw the sight that I was afraid of.

“Ben, no!” I growled. While Ben was flashing me a terrified face, I ran over and pulled his ass away from the toilet to stop his purging. And this was right after Dad told me to take care of him too! “What the fuck, Ben?!”

Yeah, I was fucking pissed. Partly at him for doing this the moment I left. Partially at myself for letting Dad drag me away for more than two minutes. Of course, he’s my responsibility now, so I placed most of the blame on myself.

“You’re not… going to tell Mom and Dad… are you…?”

“I’m…” Oh, you don’t know how much I wanted to just drag him to Mom and Dad and leave him to the sharks, but I thought about tonight. I had plans with the girls again tonight, and I didn’t think they’d like me skipping out again. Instead, I got a probably not great idea and grabbed his arm, dragging him to his room. “Get some clothes to go out in.” I barked.

“What?!” he asked, surprised.

“I said get some clothes to go out in,” I snapped. I just wasn’t in the mood to see him act like some innocent kid anymore. He knows what he did. “If I can’t trust you to not vomit your guts out all night, then I’ll play babysitter so I can watch you!”

“I won’t do anything, I swear!” Wow Ben, 10/10 performance. I didn’t believe a word of it though, so better luck next time.

“I don’t care. Now throw on some clothes in five minutes, or I’m throwing them on you myself.” I threatened.

I shut his door then rushed into my room to change. Dad’s talk had set me behind just a little bit. As I slipped on my jeans, I thought about how good of an idea it actually was to bring Ben with me. I was too blinded by being absolutely pissed at myself, Ben, and a bit at Dad. That was before I was thinking of Cadence and Megan. Man, my anger was out of hand just a bit that night.

When I got everything on, I threw open Ben’s door. Luckily enough, he was zipping up his hoodie and looked at me uncertainly.

“Are you sure I should come with?” he asked. Honestly? I wasn’t sure. It was kinda too late to change my mind though.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” I said. “Now come on, and don’t take forever going out the window.”