Dakota was, again, watching his mom cook dinner. Ever since he was adopted, not many things interested him. So, when he found interest in his mom's passion for the culinary arts, it often became a habit of his to sit and watch. It was like the movie Ratatouille, except more realistic and personal. He watched in amazement at how his mom could find exactly what he needed to make the recipe tick right. The way he instantly went to the spice cabinet, sifting through the spices- which all seemed the same to Dakota- and finding the perfect one to put in his recipe. 

"What are you making, Mom?" he asked. Nick smiled- yet again- at the term of endearment. Dakota watched as his mom added a dash of red spice to- what looked like- a mixture of flower and milk. Strangely, a leaf was also floating around in there, which Nick took out after a couple of minutes.

"Homemade mac-n'-cheese," he replied, "I saw this recipe from Alton Brown-" he squeaked the name out- "My hero. I've been watching him since Good Eats! But not Good Eats: the Return. I'm talking just Good Eats."

Dakota had no idea what his mom was talking about, but he nodded in agreement anyway. He wished he had a passion like that. Was that why he watched his mom cook? Because he was jealous of his passion? Dakota didn't see it much that way until he thought about it.

"And when I saw that he was the host for Cuthroat Kitchen?" Nick bit his lip, "I almost died."

"Um, Okay," Dakota said, eyeing the leaf that dripped with milk, "Question then."

"What's that?" Nick asked while stirring ingredients together.

"Why was there a leaf in the mac-n'-cheese?" he wondered. Dakota was sure Nick would laugh at his stupidness, but he just smiled excitedly. He rambled on about Bay leaves and their integration into cooking. Dakota knew that after his mom's rant, he would remember nothing of anything Nick said. However, it was nice to see his mom happy and excited after the night before, when Xavier broke his spirits.

Soon, after the food was close to ready, Lenore showed up. And the twins, who absolutely loved her, shouted with glee and greeted her with identical hugs. Even Jordan, the lazy one, ran to meet her. 

Delighted, she crouched down and cooed at them. The usual: "Wow, you're getting to be such a big boy!" and "I'm so happy to see you again!"

Then, she looked up at Dakota

Dakota could tell that she wasn't happy to see him again. That, or she wasn't looking forward to the conversation they were going to have.

Nick gave a yell for dinner, and the rest of the kids came tumbling down the stairs. Nick then walked up to Lenore, and then cooed at her. He called her stunning; Dakota didn't think she looked any different than she usually did. Nick said that he was so glad to see her. He gave her a hug and a kiss to her forehead- because he treated everyone that way. However, Dakota decided that he and his girlfriend were too awkward to have a kissy-hugging greeting.

Nick gradually fell into the role of the host, serving a hot plate to Lenore- even pulling her chair back for her like a gentleman. Meanwhile, Dakota sat awkwardly while he watched his mom be a better boyfriend to Lenore than him. 

He handed out everyone's plates, and they all sat at the table peacefully. Well, as peaceful as it got in Dakota's home. The two-year-olds almost launched their chicken into the roof- if not for Nick's fast reflexes. However, everyone else ate in silence at the awkwardness of the stranger sitting at the table.

Nick was staring at Dakota intensely for several seconds before Dakota noticed. Dakota raised an eyebrow as if to say, "What?"

Nick jerked his head to the side in a quick, subtle nod toward Lenore; then, Nick raised his eyebrow. As if asking, "What's going on with her?" Of course Nick would notice the tension between them, Dakota realized. Nick could read people very well, which is how the talented man got Dakota to open up to him in the first place.

Dakota shook his head no, as if to say, "Don't want to talk about it."

Nick then raised both of his eyebrows. Dakota knew he was surprised and concerned since the last time Dakota said that was when he last ran away.

Dakota shrugged, as if to say, "Don't worry about it. It's nothing"

Nick pursed his lips and nodded in acceptance.

"What are you guys doing?" Lenore interrupted their silent conversation, looking in between the two.

"Having a silent conversation," Avil answered, stuffing his face with macaroni without looking up from his phone, "We do it all the time in this house."

Lenore looked curious, but nodded and dropped it.

Then, they went back to silence.

~{()}~

This was it.

Dakota led Lenore back to his room- well, after Nick had dragged him to side to give him a short warning about the birds and the bees.

"Look," Nick said, "This isn't a sex-free house, but if you're going to have sex, at least wear a condom. Especially with girls because-"

"Mom," Dakota scolded. He did not want to be lectured about sex while Lenore was waiting up in his room. He really wanted to get the secret conversation with her over with.

"Okay but all I'm saying is- make sure you have sex with someone you trust, okay? And wear a condom. Oh, and lock the door- you know my habit of barging in," Nick threw in. He gave a hug to Dakota and wished him good night, before leaving to clean up dinner.

Dakota let out a sigh. Then he headed for his room, preparing himself on the journey there for the possible outcomes to the conversation they were going to have.

When he entered, Lenore was sitting on the spare bed, and that made Dakota really scared of what was to come.

The spare bed- the one that Dakota didn't sleep in- was an extra bed. Every kid had two beds in their room. The twins had their own beds. Maria and Bianca slept in the same room, on two different beds, which left Dakota and Avil's rooms.

Now, Dakota and Avil were not alike, and Dakota really preferred his privacy. So, they decided it best to sleep in separate rooms. However, there were always two spare beds just in case Nick spontaneously adopted a couple more kids.

And Lenore was sitting on the untouched spare. Dakota decided to sit on his own bed a few feet away from her.

"So, what is it that you wanted to talk about?" he asked, swallowing a nervous lump in his throat. His heart was pounding. 

Lenore got up and approached him. Dakota was frozen as he watched her walk over to him- and, unsurprisingly kiss him. It was immediately deep and sensual- something Dakota had never experienced with Lenore. He was afraid this was what she wanted. Her tongue entangled with his, and he almost recoiled. But then he remembered, I'm doing this for her. She sucked on his lip- and just when Dakota thought he was going to die of nerves- she pulled away.

She smiled at him, but the smile was disrupted by tears. They dripped down her face and dropped off of her chin. She sniffed and then walked back over to the spare bed to sit down.

"Uh, wha- why are you crying?" Dakota asked, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. Lenore followed his gesture by wiping her tears.

"That was my goodbye kiss. There's not a nice way of saying this, but, Dakota, I'm," she sniffed, "I'm breaking up with you." Dakota froze once again, waiting for an onslaught of negative feelings to hit him. He's always seen in movies and read in books where the break-up scenes absolutely devastate both lovers.

Dakota didn't feel anything. And that concerned him more.

"Did...I do something... wrong?" Dakota asked. He was still patiently waiting for negative feelings to hit him, yet still, they never came.

"Not really," Lenore shrugged, "I could just tell that you weren't into it." Her tears were slowly drying up, as if the lack of emotion from Dakota was sobering her sadness. "Maybe you're gay and just covering it up. Maybe I pushed you into a relationship you didn't want in the first place but I- I can't go any longer. You just don't...respond to anything I do. I feel like you hate me."

Dakota blinked.

"I didn't mean to make you feel that way," he replied, "I don't hate you...but I don't think it was working out well either." Lenore sighed with relief, as if his calm demeanor made it easier for her.

"So," she asked, shifting her weight, "Do you still want to be friends?"

"...Uh, I don't know," Dakota shrugged awkwardly, "Wouldn't that be awkward?" He tried not to be blunt about it. He really tried. However, Lenore still seemed taken aback.

"Oh," she mumbled sadly, as if she expected to still be friends. She had her tongue in Dakota's mouth a minute ago; was he expected to forget six months of a relationship and replace it with friendship? That was half of his year spent- wasted.

"We can be friends," Dakota replied slowly, "But we should give each other some time, I think. For it to...not be awkward." Dakota seemed like that was a good solution.

Lenore nodded as if she agreed.

"So, I'll just um-" she cleared her throat, "I'll call my mom to take me home." She dialed a number into her phone, then stepped out of the room to talk to her mother privately.

Dakota watched her leave the room, left behind to indulge in the silence of his own mind. He wished someone would pop in to break the silence- maybe he should have turned on the television, but he was not in the mood for watching T.V. He was confused at how empty and feelingless he was.

Why couldn't he just like her? Mourn her leaving? 

Why couldn't he have been more involved in their relationship?

Deep down he knew the answers- they were calling out to him in the silence echoing in the room.

He grabbed some headphones from his nightstand. The headphones were given to him from Nick as a "Welcome to the family!" present, along with his phone. He had never had a phone in his life, so it was a waste of money since he never used it for talking- and his friends knew he didn't.

Well, it had one purpose.

Dakota laid back on his bed, playing a sad song from his favorite band: Green Day. He used to run away from his stressors when he got upset, but that method of coping was quickly replaced by music. He allowed his mind to wander about his situation to maybe stir up some emotion. He hated feeling empty. He hated being apathetic. He hated not being able to properly express how he felt.

He hated himself.

Dakota rolled up into a ball, curled into himself.

Lenore deserved better, he thought trying to lift himself up, But that doesn't mean I'm not worth someone, right?

Right?

Dakota patiently listened to the sound of the music. He heavy, edgy lyrics. The voice of the singer as he sang softly before delving into harder rock. Dakota could imagine his passion, his feelings expressed through the song. He looked around for evidence of someone entering, before closing his eyes and singing quietly to the song.

"Wake me up, when September ends," Dakota sang for only a couple seconds, before he got too tired to sing anything more.

His eyes slowly drifted to sleep, holding his phone in his hand, and wallowing in his own pity.