Almost two months have passed.

Much has happened.

I met my angel; experienced the familiar; encountered the emaciated few; witnessed horrific sights, horrific creatures; been assigned the genii; met the Maven; and… lost my friend.

I miss him.

That day comes to mind a lot. I should have died. He, himself… lived.

My angel comforts me, but I feel empty. I catch myself praying his words sometimes. They comfort me somehow; his words and… his shrine.

He was given a small one.

A set of uneven, jagged rocks were placed in the pit where his pyre burned out.

I visit often.

My angel says I am obsessed. How ironic of her.

Although, it is true.

I do not know why. 

He was not with me for long, yet he affected me so.

What will I do?

…

I know I must leave this place.

With my mind, opened, I see what my angel sees. 

Neglect, violence, manipulation, deprivation, control… all that… abuse.

There is no choice but to befriend the dark-eyed boy, and perhaps his coral-eyed girl. It seems to me, that the way to the boy’s heart may lie through the girl. How shall I start?

I twiddle a bite-sized chocolate bar betwixt my fingers…

Today, I found this under my pillow.

It seems to be a common occurrence amongst the children. Each child finds one underneath their pillow on the same day every year. Although, the day happens to be different for every child.

I place the chocolate in my mouth and let it melt on my tongue; this chocolate can be difficult to handle, and difficult to chew. The taste is bitter. Almost none of the children enjoy the flavor. They often toss them out. I take them for myself and relish them. The chocolates, soothe me.

These chocolates also give me a sense of time.

With my chocolate, I know that I am a year grown.

“Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Happy birthday to me!” my angel sings.

How can my angel be in high spirits?

And why… do I continue… to not state… the obvious…

…

She is no angel.