As I sat outside of the office of Mr. McFinnley, Benji’s supposed lawyer, I checked the time on my phone, grimacing when I realized that I would’ve been picking up my favorite coffee from the café next to my office if I was on my schedule. I missed sticking to my schedule. It was therapeutic for me, but James came along and ruined everything.

This past weekend was horrible and torturous. I offered to pay for a hotel room for him to stay in until we could verify his story about Benji’s will, but he refused and insisted that he stay at the apartment with me. He treated it like his own home, getting comfortable and showing his habits that were strikingly similar to Benji’s.

They had the same scent, using the same cologne, deodorant, lotion, and hairspray. They had the same height, build, muscle tone, and voice. They both snored. They both liked to cook. James even took over the cooking since he arrived, which was the only thing that I liked about the whole situation. I didn’t like cooking.

Essentially, Benji and James were the same person, which hit me hard. It was like living with Benji all over again. That was tough. It was confusing, and it didn’t make this situation any easier.

James didn’t seem to care about making me comfortable. He refused to sleep in the living room and insisted the bed was big enough for two people, even when I told him that sleeping in the same bed as him made me uncomfortable. I ended up sleeping in the hall to put some space between us. I couldn’t knowingly sleep next to him in the bed that Benji and I shared. It felt wrong. 

All of this felt wrong.

My schedule was ruined. I couldn’t leave the house because I didn’t trust James enough to leave him at the apartment alone. What if he went through my things or stole something? All of these terrible scenarios kept going around and around in my head, and it was impossible for me to feel any type of peace while he was here.

I was already starting to feel the effects of having James here. I was overly anxious all of the time. It was like seeing a ghost, throwing me off my guard every single time. I started to worry for myself, knowing that if I didn’t watch it that I would slip back into a very dark place because memories I wanted to forget played right in front of me every time I looked into those forest-green eyes. And desires I wanted buried seemed to rise to the surface when I stared for too long. 

I didn’t want to deal with another man right now. I wasn’t ready to live with another man or be involved in any way. My space and privacy was important to me because I could control them. They were constants in my life, and I needed structure. James threatened to blow up everything because it didn’t seem like he would be leaving any time soon.

“Did you like the pancakes that I made this morning?”

I snapped out of my thoughts and turned my head to the right, remembering that James was sitting right beside me as we waited for McFinnley to call us into his office. 

Pancakes. Really.

He had been cheery this morning like usual. He was so confident in himself and in his documents, which made me nervous. I didn’t want this to be my new reality. I would lose my mind.

“They were fine,” I replied, forcing myself to answer. Honestly, the pancakes were really good. I believed there were blueberries in them, and James made them from scratch. No amount of pancakes could make me like him, though.

“I was thinking I could make something nice this weekend. Maybe a roast,” James said before humming thoughtfully.

I gritted my teeth, doing everything in my power not to tell him off. He really thought that he was still going to be in my apartment this weekend. I didn’t want him in my apartment for another day, but I had a feeling that I wouldn’t have my way. I had a terrible feeling in my stomach.

“Mr. Simpson?” the receptionist called out.

I rose to my feet, grateful to finally be called. I didn’t want to sit out here and keep chit-chatting with James. I wasn’t sure if he meant it or not, but he always said things that dug under my skin more and more. I wasn’t going to have a heart to heart with him about my feelings and all of that, but I wished he understood how much his presence threatened to destroy me on the inside.

“Mr. McFinnley will see you now,” the receptionist said.

I nodded and smoothed down my button down shirt before stepping into Mr. McFinnley’s office, seeing a stout, balding man sitting behind a large oak desk. I reached out across the desk to shake his head.

“Greg Simpson,” I introduced myself. I needed this guy to be on my side, to back me up against James and his claims. I couldn’t give up half of my apartment to Benji’s twin brother. It felt like I was trapped in some twisted nightmare, trying to claw my way out.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Simpson,” Mr. McFinnley said before reaching out to shake James’ hand. “Nice to see you again, Mr. Fitzgerald.”

My stomach twisted at the sound of Benji’s last name. It sounded like it didn’t belong attached to James’ name.

“Benji was my fiancé. He never mentioned a twin brother, so I want to make sure this man is who he says he is and that the will is authentic,” I voiced my concerns, wanting to get to the truth as soon as possible.

“I’ve checked over James’ documents and was given the copy of the will by Benji himself. I can assure you that everything here is authentic,” Mr. McFinnley assured me.

"I also have the original copy of Benji’s will since he kept it with our firm, a service we provide for our clients if they so wish to." He added.

The first thought in my head was to call Mr. McFinnley a fraud, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that. This was a prominent law firm, I did a bit of research before we came so there was no way that he was a fake lawyer. Plus the wall behind Mr. McFinnley was decorated with framed accreditation certificates of his law profession. If he said everything was legit, I had no choice but to believe him. He probably also did his own checks on James and  wouldn’t be fooled by fake documents or someone trying to assume someone else’s identity.

What I feared had come true. I was stuck with James against my own will. All I wanted was for him to go away so that I could go back to my life and get back on my schedule. I was scared about what would happen to me if he continued to throw me off track. What if I fell to a point that I couldn’t return from? But why did Benji hide all this from me? Was I not important to him enough to tell me about his will and his brother? Did he not trust me at all? 

“So, there’s nothing I can do? He has half ownership of the apartment?” I asked Mr. McFinnley. This couldn’t be the only option. I had to figure something else out.

“Yes, he has ownership per Benji’s wishes,” Mr. McFinnley said.

I couldn’t even say anything else. What was left for me to say? The lawyer confirmed James’ story and claims, so there was nothing left for me to do. So, I stood and left the office, ignoring James as he called after me. I didn’t want to talk to him. I wanted to figure a way out of this situation that I had been unfairly forced into.

Once again, Benji found a way to hurt me, to leave me in a dark place. I always felt guilty about having negative feelings toward him since he suffered such a terrible death, but he did terrible things too. I couldn’t ignore the fact that he broke my heart. Now, I had to deal with his surprise twin brother.

“This doesn’t have to be a difficult thing, Greg. We can make this work for both of us. I promise it won’t be as bad as you think,” James called out to me as I stormed back to my car.

Before I could reach the driver’s side, I whirled around to face him. I had to give him an offer he couldn’t refuse, an excuse to make him let me have the apartment to myself. After what Benji did to me, I deserved it.

“You’re just here for Benji’s assets. Don’t act like you care about how this makes me feel,” I snapped at him. “I will buy your part of the ownership of the apartment.”

James screwed his face up at my offer before shaking his head.

“I don’t want to sell it. I want to live in the apartment that my brother left to me,” he replied as he crossed his arms over his chest. His biceps became more defined, resting against the expanse of his chest.

I scoffed, wishing he wasn’t so damn stubborn. He just wanted assets, so why wouldn’t he take the money and use it to live elsewhere? Why was he so insistent on living in the apartment with me?

“You live in Australia. Why would you want to move back here?” I asked him. He had made a whole life for himself there, so why would he want to uproot it over a little apartment? He felt some sort of draw toward it, and it was getting in my way.

“Because my brother left his apartment to me. It’s time for me to come back home. I already missed… everything,” James sighed as he ran his hand through his hair, looking a bit distressed.

For a moment, I felt bad for him. He seemed to truly care for Benji, to not be here solely out of his own greed. However, he was putting me in a tough situation without a care for how I felt. Whether he liked it or not, I was still part of this equation without me being included in the will.

“Well, I’ve been paying the mortgage since Benji died. You’re not having half of this place for free,” I told him, hoping that the money would persuade him to back away.

“I can pay half of the mortgage. I can even reimburse you for his half that you had to pay,” James offered. He then took a step toward me, making my heartbeat speed up. His familiar scent tickled my nose, nearly making me waver because of how much it reminded me of someone I used to call home.

“I’m not going anywhere, Greg. You should just accept that.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, my breathing threatening to quicken since we shared so much of the same space. My mind was torn. James was as handsome as Benji, with just the right amount of lean muscle. He was completely my type, and I couldn’t help but feel something stir inside of me. It was automatic, natural. I didn’t know how to fight that feeling.

However, despite how similar Benji and James were, I still saw him as James. I could differentiate him from Benji, and both of them had put me in tough positions. One broke my heart, while the other was threatening to rip apart my peace and my space. It wasn’t a desirable experience all around for me.

“You’re just like your brother. Stubborn as hell,” I muttered bitterly before getting into the car. There was nothing else to say to him. I had to somehow make the most of this situation, to not get my feelings too twisted, but this situation was far from normal. How do I even navigate this without losing myself in the process?