"I created you with my corruption. That's what makes you mine." As soon as Seven Clouds had gotten over the fact that the sheet had come to life, he had immediately bickered with his cape, or so he'd insisted.

"Artifacts have a will of their own, bub. I am elegant. Powerful! I don't belong to a scruffy little Divine like you." The cape did a twirl in place, floating in the air beside Seven Clouds. "Now, let's talk blood, servant."

"I am not serving you blood. I don't even have any!" Seven Clouds huffed.

"You're lying, bub! I can smell the blood from here. You're hoarding it all for yourself!" The teeth of the cape gnashed together. "Now, if you don't want to find out what the business end of these teeth do, you're gonna show me to the source!

The source? Seven Clouds was sure his sisters weren't home; they'd be at morning cram school by now. There weren't any pets in the house, and his father was in the hospital. Which left only... "The sink?"

"The sink?" The cape turned the handle, and blood began to pour out of the faucet. "Oh, thank the Divines! That's the stuff. Good job, servant." The cape dipped its head under the faucet, slurping and lapping up the liquids with its teeth.

"I'm not your servant, and that sink is also mine." Seven Clouds folded his arms. "You're drinking my water, sitting under my roof--"

"Yeah, yeah. Listen, bub, it was great being born and all, but you're under my roof now. This whole place is perfect for an artifact like me. Blood on tap, a buxom babe..." The cape flew from the sink to a picture of a bright-eyed woman with white irises.

"That's my mother, you towel." Seven Cloud's river blue eyes grew darker.

"Dang, she got it going on." The misogynistic towel continued to caress the frame. "Right in my strike zone. She can smite my unholies any day--"

"Alright, that's enough." In one hand, Seven Clouds gripped the nape of the cape, wringing it by its neck. "You say one more thing about my mother, I'm turning the garbage disposal into an artifact and jamming you into it."

The cape grew silent, recognizing the threat to be legitimate, or perhaps asphyxiating as its windpipe was held. "G-got it, bub," the cape wheezed.

"You're in my house, under my rules now. Right?" Seven Clouds squeezed a little harder, listening to the cape gag.

"Right." The cape nodded its collar as well as it could.

"Good." Letting go of the cape, Seven Clouds could finally relax. "Using force to make you agree feels wrong, though."

"What, it works. You established the top dog pretty quick." The cape rubbed at his nape with a corner of the fabric.

"I know, it's just," Seven Clouds sighed. "My mother didn't teach me to resolve problems with violence. I'm sorry, I got heated. Let's start this over."

"Sure thing, pal. I'm the [Blood-Drinker Cape], [ART 1] artifact! At your service." The cape shuddered. A blue window opened up in front of Seven Clouds as soon as the cape finished introducing itself.

"Hmm. That's a curious window." Seven Clouds stroked his beard, feeling flecks of dust fall from it. He examined his palm in confusion, seeing that a pile of glitter had built atop it.

"Oh! Oh, that's pixie chitin!" The cape was practically drooling with excitement, a bead of blood dripping down from the teeth. "Give some of that to me! I can become even more majestic with that!"

"How do I use it?" Seven Clouds narrowed his eyes. He wasn't about to hand over this valuable powder before understanding what it did.

"You're a Divine, right? Just tap one of those buttons on my screen! Oh, I can taste the delicious upgrades now..." The cape cackled, and Seven Clouds scanned the list of buttons once more.

The first button, [Enhance], looked like some fusion of energies. This must do what the cape wants, but Seven Clouds wasn't about to let this menace loose on society. It probably increased the power of the cape by adding new features.

The green and black button [Reprogram] was tempting, but Seven Clouds felt hesitant testing the feature on something or someone sentient. Maybe he could use some of this dust to fix his sink? Even so, right now, the cape needs blood. Putting the sink back in order can stay on hold.

The third button was a present of some kind. [Transfer] probably allowed Seven Clouds to gift the artifact to someone else. If it wasn't so dangerous, he might have considered giving the artifact to one of his sisters to keep them safe from monsters. At this point, he had to assume they existed. His new boss seemed like a good example.

A flag represented the last feature, [Registration]. This one seemed like the most important button here. It likely allowed him to register the cape as a part of his own power. With this, he could keep the cape in line and make sure it didn't misbehave.

Without hesitation, Seven Clouds tapped [Registration]. If this cape was going to be lingering around, he wanted to make sure it would belong to him.

Seven Clouds tapped "YES", confirming that he was going to register the cape, and would rather have it bound to himself than out and on the loose.

"Spicy...?" Seven Clouds tried to look for the system notice once more, but the blue window was already gone.

"You... you... you BLEW IT, BUB!" Blood-Drinker cried out, edges of his cowl already shaking Seven Clouds. "I'm registered to you! No! I was a free cape! A free cape!"

Seven Clouds gently removed the edges of the cape from his shoulders, setting the cape down on the seat of a throne. "Relax. I just want to make sure you don't go around biting my sisters. This is insurance for me."

"I wanted to be upgraded! Oh, the horror, the misery..." The cape pulled away and sobbed on the floor.

"No need to cry, Blood-Drinker. Let's see about getting you a family next, alright?" Seven Clouds leaned down, patting the cape on the back. He would have to make it up to him. "There, there. Now... what say you help me with a few more experiments, and I'll look into upgrading you right after?"

"You... You mean it, bub? I can be a real fancy cape?" Blood-Drinker trembled and looked up at Seven Clouds, teeth of the cape full of hope and blood.

"Sure. In fact, you can be the fanciest cape." Seven Clouds held out a greasy palm, right hand on his hip. The cowering cowl reached out to shake his hand, nodding in earnest. "Deal! Now, uh..." Blood-Drinker tugged his collar, not sure how to breach this next question. "Are you going to do anything about that towel that just dropped?" 

The cowering cowl reached out to shake his hand, nodding in earnest. "Deal! Now, uh..." Blood-Drinker tugged his collar, not sure how to breach this next question. "Are you going to do anything about that towel that just dropped?"