Infamous sorcerer and convicted vandalist Reese "Broomstick" Smellcough in hot water yet again after allegedly summoning and releasing thirty-six different hellbeasts into the local street market. The beasts destroyed four stands and two shops, injuring three people before being captured by zookeeper Baglen Bethell.
Witnesses claim to have seen Smellcough cackling from a distance, others saying he was flying on his broom and viewing the chaos from above.
"I'm not even a sorcerer," the sorcerer claimed shortly after being apprehended Monday morning. Smellcough is currently awaiting trial. Stay tuned for an exlusive interview with him on the situation.
Multiple Dragon Attacks in South Foolfoot
At the time of writing, a recorded six villages, two trade hubs, and two crop fields have been fully destroyed by a series of attacks done by the golden Sundragons of the south, with authorities expecting more reports in the coming days.
"Sundragons are violent, bloodthirsty creatures. If they're targeting us once, they'll surely return again," says Baglen Bethell, a zookeeper and expert in the field of large, fire-breathing reptiles.
Economists say the "mass death and severe destruction of goods and property" is likely to "negatively affect the markets in some way."
King Jupiter, in his Tuesday speech, addresses the severity of the attacks and hopes to meet with the Sundragons diplomatically to achieve a peaceful compromise. His requests were left unanswered by the dragons, many theorizing it to be due to their inability to understand language.
Flying Man Resists Execution
Early this morning, the horrifying "flying man" of West Foolfoot was finally arrested and sentenced to death after years of terrorizing the local shop owners. As many are aware, a mysterious figure has been flying over West Foolfoot and stealing from the various markets. Unable to catch him, police claim the excuse of being "too damn short to grab him in the air."
Earlier this week, the flying man allegedly bumped his head on an arched gate, tumbling to the ground where he was swiftly arrested. Although his crimes were minor, the king's Royal Hightable approved an execution, saying the flying man was undeserving of life due to his "annoyance."
However, executioners repeatedly failed to hang the man. "He just kept flying out of the noose," says an anonymous royal executioner. The flying man was able to escape and is now purportedly on the run. Updates on the situation will be released as they occur.
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