I’m somehow still alive 

Without child 

Or welcome 

Elu has become an acquaintance of sorts 

Educating me on the pack's order

Here, Madans are the highest authority. The eldest tela and female felines are our emotional guides and pass down the stories of the ancestors: griots, tati to the orphaned, continuer of traditions. Though they don't take on an clear form of leadership as the edlers did in my mother-tribe, in times of unease, they had the final say.

Second to them are the Efe’men; our vessels for the Efehni’s work of healing, divining, speaking with the dead, and more.

Coming from a non-predatory tribe, the Alpha Heads were the hardest concept for me to wrap my head around. In essence they are the family heads. This group are the more prominent form of leadership, that is awfully political in sense. They choose this position, not based solely on wisdom, but prowess, skills, and godblood too. 

According to theirhistories, The Goddess gave birth to seven children who would created the major seven families: 

The House of Layth, the first Lion.

The House Azzan, the first Tiger.

The House of Bryelle, the first Jaguar.

The House of Goira, the first Leopard.

The House of Laila, the first Lynx.

The House of Zahin, the first Cheetah.

The House of Kashif, the first Panther.

The Alphas are those who inherited the most amount of godblood from the origin children of their Goddess. With the guidance of the Madans and Efe'men, they who we first turn to during disputes, the ones who enforce the rules, and symbolize our strength as a people.

Now, because they often mate the greatest inheritors with each other, there are dozens of potential Alpha Heads each generation who they call Heir Candidates. They are educated in traditions of the pack and disciplined by the Madans and Efe'men, and the Head of the House teach them how to control their beast amongst other lessons.

The failed candidates become diplomats or train to be worthy of another job. However, for some reason, the most beloved tela and female candidates become the Neck. Elu theroized that some Heir Candidates were failed on purpose just to pulled into the fold. Rumors say they are groomed to become the next Madans, others say they are the eyes of the Alpha Heads and Council.

Yes. Council. It's gathering made up of...the major and minor family heads, and Role leaders.

The greatest in trade skills and leadership become Heads in their own right, and participate in the serious council meetings. They are tasked with representating their groups and even out the weight of responsibility, while also keeping the main poltical body in check.

Yet here I am

Mated to an Heir Candidate

Sitting at a table with the strongest of the pack 

And taking the mantle for being the weakest

But I’m not senseless

Mehrdad has had his nose down at me the entire time 

Several of the the tables occupants whisper and snicker 

I think I read the words 

‘Easy’ and ‘fun lay’

Some are just downright openly rude to me 

‘What was your name again?’

‘It’s Anni, yes?’

‘No Anekeh’

‘Wait Anunu-

It’s Aniseh, blood of Fatimah.

‘Oh. Isn’t that powerful line… so why aren’t you?’

There has been a number of prophets and diviners in the line.

‘What can you do?’

I hunt. I ran and helped keep the border maintained.

‘You didn’t do anything with salii?’

No, my older twin sister got those abilities.

‘Why wasn’t she mated off to Zubair, that would’ve been a more fitting match.’

The First Light took her. 

‘Mhmmm.’

‘Guess she wasn’t that powerful anyways.’

‘Maybe it worked out.’

‘Oh, my gods your such a jest.’

‘No! Look at her eyes. They’re black as a void.’

‘You’re right. There must be an emptiness inside. I guess that’ll make you the perfect body to hold his cubs.’

‘Oh that’s a good point! Can’t muddy anything if there’s nothing to begin with. ‘

They laugh 

And I am 

Frozen to the cushion as my throat closes 

Zubair acts like he hears nothing 

Like he knows I am nothing

I know I am 

I know 

I know and yet 

the numbness I created falters for second 

Why do I still believe? 

Why is there a burning in my chest? 

I hold out to the end 

Eating to focus my attention 

And as everyone departs for their duties 

I calmly walk to my courtyard 

As soon as I walk in a filter starts vibing my eyes 

Splat

A red droplet on my hand 

I wipe at my eyes and more blood comes away 

It’s shimmering 

Little flecks of gold and silver floating in there

My hand stretches to the doors on its on

My blood the ink it fills the runes inscribed

My mouth moves unbidden 

Chanting tongues I have no education in 

The more I fill 

The clearer my vision becomes

The blood from my hands never seeming to run out

From top to bottom

Salnaa tuk waf'elitahili no ama bi, youn waf'e em.

My blood-ink begins to travel

Red coloring the edges of banisters

To the ends of pillars 

Faint etchings become apparent 

Faded colors on the walls and hanging tapestry 

The more I trace my blood’s whereabouts I realize about the gravity of where I’m standing 

Is this Efehni’s way of asking me to hold on?