His evening was about to get worse but Tal didn’t know that yet. He picked up a book to distract himself but he couldn’t help glancing at his phone all the time. He didn’t send Scar any messages. Instead, he was waiting for Nik to reach out. He hoped for something, anything really.

<< Tal this is Nik, sorry for lashing out. Please tell me what happened in the cave.

Or

<< Tal I am still angry at you and I don’t believe you. You suck, never contact me again.

<< Ps. Try to take care of yourself.

Anything, literally. Tal tossed the book aside and grabbed his phone. He had to do something. If Nik wasn’t going to reach out to him then he had to.“Nik,” he texted and took a deep breath.

>> It was real, Nik. I’m sorry that it was. Please hear me out at least. Give me a chance to explain it.

He didn’t reply. Of course, he didn’t. Tal deleted the message again after waiting for almost an hour. A quick glance at the clock told Tal that he would be late for dinner with Mr. Hemlock. They usually ate at around six and it was already half past five. With his crutch he wouldn’t make it to Mr. Hemlock’s mansion in time. Just like Nik, Mr. Hemlock lived in a large mansion on his own. His house was located on the Academy grounds but very close to the forest and therefore a little bit too far for Tal to reach in time, especially with his injured ankle.

Thankfully he didn’t have to hop all across the Academy grounds. Mr. Hemlock was waiting in front of Tal’s room. He looked weary and exhausted when he opened up. Tal stayed quiet. “I brought the car around. You’ll just have to make it down the steps. Can I help you somehow?” “It’s fine.” He mumbled as he closed the door behind him. He hadn’t looked up at Mr. Hemlock yet and he felt like he didn’t deserve to. The director moved hesitantly next to Tal. He was struggling not to chime in and put Tal’s arm around his shoulder for support.

They walked down the hallway in silence. Even the Victorian paintings on the wall seemed to stand utterly still tonight. Tal could only remember one situation that had been similar to this one. It was his first – and last – trip to the hospital with Mr. Hemlock as his guardian. He had screamed and begged not to be driven into the hospital but the director had carried him into the car and drove there anyway. Tal had punished him with silence back then. And he was sort of punishing him with silence now for something that the director didn’t even do to him. “Taliesin.” He had said in the hospital. “Your leg is broken; I had no other choice.” “You know why I avoid hospitals,” Tal cried, “You know it and you still brought me here. I thought you were different.” “Don’t say that, please, I am doing my best. I had no choice. I can’t heal a broken bone for you!”

Looking back Tal knew that he had overreacted. Mr. Hemlock didn’t have a choice but he still broke the one promise Tal had had him make before accepting him as his guardian. And just today, he almost broke it again. “Taliesin.” Mr. Hemlock touched his shoulder gently. “Is there anything I can do to-“ “It will take a while to get down the stairs. You can go ahead and wait by the car.” “Taliesin.” “Please.” His voice broke and he lowered his head even more. The director heaved a deep sigh and then nodded. “Okay, I will wait outside, be careful.”

Tal knew the moment Mr. Hemlock walked down the stairs that he had made a mistake. He had pushed him away even though he just wanted to help. “Why do I keep messing up today?” He wondered out loud and took the first step. He already had to deal with the staircases once earlier but when he had been running to meet Nik the painkillers were working and he didn’t care about his injury. Now the pain was stronger than before and he was feeling like he’d have a mental breakdown any moment now. He wasn’t in the right headspace to be here and he surely couldn’t handle a dinner alone with Mr. Hemlock. He realised it was too late to back out, as much as he hated that. He would have to have dinner with Mr. Hemlock and he’d have to give him some kind of explanation. With a pained whimper he jumped down another step.

-

“What’s wrong with you today, Tal?” Mr. Hemlock finally lost his patience and opened a conversation. They had been in the car in complete silence and had not spoken to each other since he served dinner. Tal was picking at his food while staring at the table and Mr. Hemlock had been trying to find a good way to start this discussion for almost an hour. Now he had this disappointed expression on his face that told Tal he fucked up. His stomach turned and he wanted to eat even less.

What was he supposed to do? Tal couldn’t pretend that he was fine but he couldn’t give Mr. Hemlock a reasonable explanation. He was in pain, couldn’t stop thinking about Nik, he missed Scar and he was terrified of getting teleported back into the cave. “Nothing is wrong.” He replied after a while and took a bite. Tal almost gagged but forced himself to swallow. Mr. Hemlock eyed him with concern. “I’m expecting an explanation, Tal. How did you get injured?” “I woke up like that, okay? I don’t fucking know how it happened.” “Taliesin.” Mr. Hemlock raised his voice and cringed shortly at the increased volume. “Watch your language, please.”

Tal bit down on his lip. He didn’t mean to curse but he was in such a bad mood that nothing mattered to him anymore. Not Nik, not Scar, not the only person he ever considered to be a good father. Nobody mattered. Not the people in the cave, the evil order, the knights or the gods. They could all collectively go and fuck themselves. He didn’t choose to be a descendant; he didn’t choose to be thrown into this horrible world with no parents to guide him and as many assholes in his way as the universe had to offer. He was tired of it. He was so fucking tired of it.

“I’m sorry Mr. Hemlock,” he managed to say without sounding too condescending. “I really don’t know how this happened.” “I’m worried about you, kid. Let me help you.” He sounded worried, almost desperate. It made Tal’s heart ache. “You can’t help me.” He scoffed and downed his drink. “Everything’s fucked and I keep messing up with the wrong people, even you.” “Tal.” “No. I’m a mess and there’s no one who can help me.” He let out a sob and buried his face in his hands.

Mr. Hemlock gasped softly and got up from his seat with a startled reaction. “Taliesin.” He said, trying to sound comforting but it made Tal feel even worse. He came here, cursed, lied and the director was still caring about him. “Excuse me, please.” Tal pushed his chair back and got up with trembling legs. “Tal, wait.” Mr. Hemlock reached his hand out to hold onto Tal but he cut himself loose and ran into the bathroom as fast as he could. His ankle ached and throbbed with every step but he only stopped when he slammed the door shut.

Tal opened the window and stuck his head out. He needed fresh air. Otherwise, he’d have a panic attack. He leaned out and closed his eyes. One, two, three, four, he counted in his head and breathed in. One, two, three, four, he breathed out. One, two, three, four, in. Tal opened his eyes and glanced up at the moon that was hidden behind the clouds. “Not even you are on my side today.” He sighed deeply and let himself drop onto the cold tiles. Mr. Hemlock hadn’t followed him, he knew that Tal needed a moment for himself.

He took out his phone and stared at the screen. No new messages. What did he expect? Nik wouldn’t text and Scar was too angry at him to reach out first. The only two people he cared about, and he upset them both. He couldn’t handle it anymore. Tal took a deep breath again before unlocking his phone with a swipe and clicking on Nik’s chat.

>> I’m sorry.

He texted and stifled a sob.

>> I’m so scared, Nik.

Just as he hit ‘send’ his phone slipped through his fingers and fell to the ground with a loud ‘crack’. He was sure to have heard the screen shatter but he couldn’t look because from one second to the other Tal was falling himself. This time he landed a bit more gracefully than last time. He managed to avoid completely breaking his ankle but he hit the ground hard either way. “Where..?” Tal looked around in confusion. This wasn’t the cave. This was no place he’d ever been before. Where did his ability take him? And why did it have to be now?