When Tuesday rolled around, I decided to take matters into my own hands. As session three English started and Harley forwarded into the room ahead of me, rather than walking over to my usual seat, I made a point to pull up a chair by the door, on the completely opposite side of the room from him.
Gaze fixated on my book as I lined my margin and wrote in the date, I didn’t check to see if he noticed.
I just told myself that this was how it had to be.
Until the colour drained from his figure and he blended back into the masses for my heart.
And I repeated this routine of avoiding him and putting distance between us in the days that followed, until eventually I stopped talking about him altogether with Carys.
Then, when Friday first break rolled around, one week on from my confession, something… unexpected happened.
“Hey, Indi,” a voice said from behind me, causing me to stop in my conversation with Carys to turn to look at the figure.
“Um, hi, Caleb,” I said as my brows pulled together in confusion. Because what could he possibly want?
“Do you think… I could talk to you in private for a second?” His gaze hesitantly flickered between me and Carys.
I sent a wary glance Carys’s way as my heart began to pound in my chest, wondering if this was a trap for some bullying.
But she merely shrugged at me, as if to say, your call.
Getting to my feet, I almost reluctantly followed Caleb away from listening ears as he turned his head to the ground, hands fiddling in front of him.
“What’s up?” I pressed as we came to a stop and he said nothing.
“I… uh… Are you doing much this weekend?” he started, still not meeting my gaze.
“Not exactly. Carys is coming around tonight, but… that’s about it.” Was this about the upcoming literature assessment? I wondered. Did he need my help? It’s not like I was exactly the smartest though…
He nodded slowly before his eyes snuck a glance up at me. “Did you maybe… want to see a movie with me?”
I did everything in my power to stop my jaw from dropping in that moment. Because… did I hear him right? “With you?”
“Yeah,” he muttered, hand shooting behind his head as he seemingly anxiously rubbed his neck.
“Why? Are friends busy?” Because no way was I going to misinterpret anything again.
He breathed a humourless laugh before he looked back up at me again, gaze full of chagrin. “No? I’m… Indi, I’m asking you on a date.”
“A… what?” I took a step back, head cocking to the side.
“Okay… okay. I get it. It’s a no. I’m sorry for—” Caleb turned to walk away, evidently at his end of embarrassment tolerance.
But my hand shot out, grabbing his arm and bringing him to a halt. “Wait, hold up… It’s not a no. I’m just… shocked? I… I thought you hate me?”
“Hate?” He spun around, eyes searching my face. “What gave you that impression?”
“Well, when I sat with you and your friends that day in class, you seemed very hostile.”
“Oh… not towards you. I was… anxious my friends would say something.”
“Say what?”
“They knew I had… well, still have… a mega crush on you.”
“You have a crush on me?”
“Duh.”
“But you all made fun of my contacts.”
“Made fun…” He shook his head, horror masking his expression. “We didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to come off like that. I just… It’s different. But I also like that you’re really different. And smart… and really pretty.”
I felt the corner of my mouth turning up, a slight giddiness consuming me at his compliments. A part of me was hopeful though that he’d flicker with some colour, just like Harley did when he was charming at the beginning. But it never came.
Caleb was quick to return my smile, though shyly. “So, um… now that you know my intentions… what do you say to a movie?”
But my eyes were narrowing once more. “Depends on the movie, of course.”
His grin grew ever wider. “It’s sounding like a yes.”
“It’s a maybe. I need my movie options first.”
“But if it’s a movie you like…”
“Then sure, Caleb. I’d love to go to the movies with you.”
“Fantastic. I mean… cool. That’s sweet. Um…” He shook his head as he turned away for a moment. And I just caught him cursing under his breath. “Can I get your phone number? Or would you prefer I message you on Insta?”
Revelling in his awkwardness and bashfulness, and slightly over the moon that someone actually was into me enough to ask me on a date, I willingly fished my phone out and handed it to him, letting him punch in his number before he shot himself a text so he had mine.
“I’ll text you tonight once I look at the options,” he said, taking a step back, though seemingly reluctant to go.
“Sounds great,” I breathed, unable to stop myself from nervously biting down on my bottom lip.
Step by step, he backed away from me. And, once enough distance was between us, he pivoted on his heel and took off.
I stood in my place, replaying the conversation over in my head and trying to keep my cool. But as my eyes swept over the school yard as I turned to head back to Carys, Harley’s watchful eyes on me across the way were hard to miss.
•❃°•°❀°•°❃•
“I can’t believe you have a date tomorrow!” Carys gushed on the bus back to mine. She had brought all her belongings to school, ready for a fun night of sleepovers tonight. Though, because I had to wait for her, we were unfortunately up the back of the bus.
“I know, right? It’s like the universe is looking out for me. Maybe I’ll get my first kiss?” A smile was working its way onto my face, but I was trying to be as quiet as possible. I was happy for Carys knowing how over the moon I was, but… I didn’t want Caleb to know how eager I was.
“Maybe!” she gushed. “So he is picking you up?”
“He and his mum, of course.”
“Ah. Do you think he will hold your hand?” she asked a little too loudly.
I was quick to hold a finger to my mouth.
But she merely nodded her head towards the seat behind us. One glance in the direction she indicated, and I realised who had taken up residence there… and I hadn’t even noticed.
“I hope he does,” I said to her. “Or does one of those super cheesy fake yawns to put his arm around me.”
“You will have to tell me all the details when you get home. Who knows, maybe you will even have a boyfriend come Monday. Someone who will sit with you at school and be proud to say you're his.” She was throwing deep digs here. And, as fun as it was to rub in that I moved on, a part of me was sighing in despair.
Because what was the point of doing all this?
It’s not like he cared.
It was hard to miss when I had glanced back the beauty who was beside him. His girlfriend. The girl who he had chosen after getting my hopes up by telling me she wouldn’t get in the way...
He made his choice… And I was not worth it in the end.
So what was the point in trying to make him jealous? I just had to focus on me and my heart now.
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