Everything changed after that kiss, and I was happy about that. Things needed to change. I just hadn’t realized that until James came along and opened my eyes to what I was really doing to myself. Keeping myself separated from my feelings and the rest of the world hadn’t done me any favors. What helped me was facing my fears and letting someone into my life. And that person was James.

Gradually and easily, James settled into my life. That led to a change in my routine that I had to get used to, but I found that change was good for me. The best part was that I was no longer alone.

James started jogging with me in the mornings, and we always enjoyed breakfast together afterward. I made the coffee, and James handled the food. He was definitely the better cook out of the two of us, and he never minded cooking. He always did it with a smile.

That smile of his struck me deep, and maybe I thought of Benji from time to time, but the memories that I created with James started to take over my mind. We spent a lot of time together outside of work. When I left to go to work at the office, James stayed at the apartment and worked as a freelance writer.

Every single day, I looked forward to heading back home, knowing that I’d either find him making dinner or lounging on the couch in his tank top and boxers. During the weekend, we planned activities to do together, and we found out that we shared a love for hiking. With time, we got closer and closer, and I let my guard down more and more. If I wanted to move on and get on with my life, I believed that this was a good way to try to do that.

Plus, I missed having someone next to me, making my heart race and leaving intimate touches on me. It was subtle at first. We shared brief kisses, tight hugs, and held hands a few times, but nothing was official between us at first. We didn’t even mention it. We just let it naturally happen without questioning it.

I didn’t want to complicate things either. I just wanted to feel happy again, and I started to feel that way with James. It was relieving because I had gotten close to falling into darkness again but I broke through the surface. I treaded waves of confusion and uncertainty until I reached the shore. Now, I felt like I was in paradise.

I didn’t want James to leave. He had become part of my routine, part of my reason to smile and laugh again. It was good for me. He was good for me. So, after a few months, he officially moved back to the United States to live with me permanently.

That official devotion sent our blossoming relationship into new depths. Our feelings grew deeper, and we started to talk about what we were feeling for each other. What I felt for him was different than what I felt for Benji. We had a new type of love, one that consumed me, blocking out the darkness.

For the first time in a long time, I felt safe, especially in James’ arms. We grew comfortable enough to talk about Benji and our past memories, but Benji’s name gradually came up in our conversations less and less. We talked more about us and what we wanted for the future. Of course, we weren’t time travelers. We didn’t know what came next. Life was full of surprises, but we did know that we wanted to be together. No matter what.

I trusted James. He swore himself to me, and I promised my love and devotion to him. We were drawn together by tragedy and complication, but our love was anything but those things. It was surprising and warm and exciting. It breathed new life into me.

Now, a year later, we walked down the beach together, our fingers twined as our voices and laughter clashed with the crash of the waves. The past was behind us like the imprint of our footprints in the sand. The beach stretched out in front of us for miles, but we took life a moment at a time. We didn’t know when our moments would stop, but we were going to make the most out of the ones we had left. That was the point of life, right?

“We should stay and watch the sunset,” James told me, nodding to the sun as it gradually sank in the sky, its rays reaching down toward the ocean.

I smiled and slowed my steps, nodding my agreement. We agreed to spend the day at the beach, to enjoy our time away from work with each other. We always made the most of the weekends, making memories to last us a lifetime.

I was glad that I let him in. I tried to force him away, to protect myself from what I was afraid to feel. I thought keeping my distance from everyone and everything would help me, but it only hurt me in the end. It made me put my back to everyone that wanted to help me, including James.

I didn’t want to be with anyone again. I didn’t want to love anyone again. I had basically given up on love at that point, but he convinced me to give it one more shot. He was the only one who could get me to change my mind, and I was so glad that he did. I was happier now because of that. And I could see us being happy for years to come.

I wrapped my arms around his torso, pressing my body against his side as we gazed out at the water together. Moments like these felt perfect to me. They filled me with warmth, making my heart race and my body lean more into his. This was when I truly felt at complete peace.

“I could stay here forever,” I told him. I loved the home that we shared together, but it was nice to get out into the world again, to break routine from time to time. I felt safe doing that with him. I let him take me on adventures and surprise me. I trusted him.

“Let’s get a beach house,” James chuckled.

“A beach house?” I smirked. It wasn’t the worst idea in the world. We dreamed of crazy, brilliant ideas and scenarios together all the time.

James shrugged as he put his arm around my shoulders.

“We could when we retire. We’ll lay out on the sand under the sun together. Wrinkles and all,” he laughed.

I grimaced at the image, but I couldn’t help but laugh too. He always made me laugh.

“That’s definitely something to keep in mind,” I replied. Maybe we could actually do it one day. We both made a decent amount of money, and I couldn’t think of anyone else that I would want to get a beach house with. I could only imagine all of the memories we would make in it.

“Any other fantasies you’d like to share?” I asked him as I lifted an eyebrow at him.

James hummed beneath his breath playfully. He turned toward me, placing his hands on my hips and drawing me even closer.

“When it comes to fantasies, I can think of quite a few,” he murmured in a flirty manner.

My face grew warm as I gazed into his eyes. It was so easy to get lost in his gaze, to slip into those pools of pale green.

“You better watch yourself,” I warned him playfully. His grip felt good on my hips. It was a promise to never let go, to not let me get lost like I was when he wasn’t in my life. He anchored me in a way that I didn’t know I needed until he came along.

“Oh, yeah. You’re putting up a fight,” James smirked before tickling me under my ribs.

A laugh burst from me as I tried to wrestle myself away from him, but he refused to pull back on his attack. My only defense was to take him down, so I wrestled him down into the sand, leading us to rolling too close to the water.

A light wave crashed into us as we landed in the shallow end of the water. Both of us gasped at the coldness of the water, our clothes immediately becoming soaked as we clung onto each other. We met each other’s eyes and started laughing.

“See what you did?” I said, playfully splashing water at him.

“What I did? You dragged us down into the water!” James laughed, throwing his arms around me. He rolled us until he came out on top, hovering above me as gentle waves rocked into us. He placed his hand under my head, lifting my face toward his so that he could press his lips against mine.

I could taste the salt on his lips. My hand rested on his cheek as we shared a sweet kiss, ignoring the water around us. In that moment, it was just us and our lips pressed against each other. That was all that mattered.

James brushed his fingers through my damp hair, caressing me in a way that made my heart flutter. He showed his love for me in ways that made me feel more loved than ever. He didn’t just tell me that he loved me. He showed it in the small moments like fixing my coffee perfectly in the morning or massaging my shoulders after a long day of work. He knew just what to do.

When our lips broke apart, I smiled up at him. The water didn’t feel so cold anymore, but that probably had to do with his warm body pressed against mine. I actually felt pretty comfortable here now. My arms slipped around his neck as he grinned down at me, his eyes gleaming.

“Well, we might as well take a swim now,” I pointed out. Our clothes were already soaking wet, and it wasn’t like we had any towels or extra clothes in the car. We might as well make the most out of this.

James chuckled and nodded, stroking my cheek affectionately.

“Sounds like a plan,” he said. He then pecked my head before climbing off me. Leaning down, he grabbed my hand and helped me to my feet. “Maybe this can turn into a night swim.”

“You wish,” I teased him, nudging him playfully before walking deeper into the ocean. The water started to crash against my waist and then up to my chest. It only took a few seconds for me to feel arms around me from behind. I smiled and put my hands over James’, letting him embrace me as the sun set ahead of us.

James rested his chin on my shoulder, nuzzling his face against mine.

“I love you, Greg,” he murmured softly. Even if his words were lightly spoken, they still hit me heavily. It happened every single time he said those words to me.

I turned my head slightly to meet his eyes over my shoulder. He was so handsome, and even if he looked like Benji, he was handsome in his own right and in his own way. I couldn’t get enough of him, and I never would.

“I love you, James,” I said, meaning the words with everything that I had. He was part of my heart, my life, and my routine. I didn’t want to lose him, but I was grateful that I even met him.

James filled a space in my life that I thought I would never fill. He changed my thinking about a lot of things, but I supposed that was the power of love and being with the right person at last. I wouldn’t change my life for anything right now, but I’m grateful for the journey and the love that I finally found along the way.

End.