Sensing my hesitation, he continued. “Since we haven’t been formally introduced, I’m Asher, Asher Samuels. Your partner for the rest of the school year, if you don’t mind.” 

“Ni-Nice to meet you,” I said, making sure to say each word completely as it came out of my mouth, “Tristan, Tristan Matthews.”

I felt like a deer in headlights at that moment. My brain couldn’t structure a comprehensive sentence without stuttering, what was wrong with me? What was he doing to me? 

The mystery that had been Asher Samuels, the Asher who plagued my existence since his arrival at Brindlewood High, was now sitting in front of me. The guy, who made me feel things that only Gage had managed to do, was going to be my seatmate for the rest of the school year. Fuck. 

When had I started cursing so much? 

“That was the most formal introduction I’ve honestly, ever done. I don’t usually do that.” Asher explained, his words catching me off guard.

“What do you mean?” I asked, testing the waters with my question. 

“I’m usually so casual and upfront with everyone that I meet or interact with, but with you I felt like that was necessary,” he replied, his eyes watching me carefully. “I don’t mean that in a bad way, it's just the way that I felt that I had to approach you, you know?”

My eyes widened slightly as I finally looked at Asher, really looked at him. His body facing me in an open and expressive way, his arms resting nonchalantly lounging in front of him so naturally. Had he read me so easily? Had he seen through the facade that I had so firmly built for others not to see through? 

“And what way was that?” my words coming out strategically. 

“You looked like you were gonna break down, so I felt like I needed to make sure to approach you in a way you seem used to. Everyone, in their own way, is built differently and needs certain requirements to be met before they can open up. I figured I’d take a shot in the dark and it looks like I got it right.” He explained. 

“What makes you say that?” I replied, feeling a heat pool within my stomach once more. 

“Your shoulders aren’t tense anymore.” He stated matter-of-factly, a small grin pulling at his lips. 

I sat there in disbelief. Had he really figured me out so easily? Was I so obvious with my feelings that I had not hid them well? I started to feel self conscious about the reality around me, the presence of the other students became all too spatial in that moment. My body felt finely tuned to the atmosphere of the classroom, everything becoming grounded in an instant as my limbs no longer felt heavy. The blood from within my veins raced, reminding me of the feelings that had plagued me before. The warmth from Asher—the glowing radiance that he seemed to shine brightly with—had seemed to give life to the emotions I had shoved away when he had sat down. This time though. The emotions felt as natural as the confidence and ambition I had come to know and love, showing me that they had probably been there all along. 

I was never great when it came to the emotions of others—let alone myself—that they still felt so foreign to me. The numbness no longer made me feel cold and heavy, my body feeling like it somehow had reached the surface of the water I had sunk so deep into moments before. Something so simple as the formal greeting from Asher, allowed me to bring my head above the dark waters of my mind. Another question arising in the back of mind as I made eye contact with Asher once more. 

When did my shoulders drop?

“You seem to notice the little things about other people” I stated, my voice feeling a little stronger in that moment. 

 “Well when you travel as much as I have, you start to see that even the little things matter, especially when it comes to people. I have spent so much of my life observing everything I saw, I figured that I would apply it to people too. And it hasn’t failed me yet” Asher grinned. 

“Am I that easy to read?” I asked, my eyes boring into his.

“Not read, per se, but your body language was pretty obvious from the moment that I sat down. Everything else is still a mystery to me, for some reason I can’t see past it” He replied. 

My head tilted at his words, “I don’t think I’m that mysterious.”

“For a people person like myself, you are pretty mysterious. It makes me wonder what you’re really like behind that cold, yet confident studious persona that you seem to hide behind” His grin almost turned into a smile, but it had yet to reach his eyes. 

“You know, for a writing partner, you seem a lot more observant than the others here” I stated.

“What can I say? I see the beauty in everything,” He answered.

I blinked. The playful smile that filled his face caused my cheeks to burn as I sat there with no place to go. My eyes instantly looked down, the need to look everywhere but his face frantically building up inside of me. 

 “You mean for writing?” I asked, my eyes still not meeting his face. 

He laughed.

My eyes shot back up to his face, the sight of his laughter a sight to behold as the sound of it gently washed over my skin. I suddenly wanted to hear more of it. I craved it. Before I knew it, I pushed those feelings down reminding myself that I still had yet to figure out my situation with Gage. My body froze as the thought of my best friend filled my head once more. Asher had distracted me—even if it had only been for a short time— from the intrusive thoughts that Gage’s indecisiveness had burdened me with. The feelings that Gage, and now Asher, had conjured up from deep within me, still confused me. I was at an impasse. 

Even with the length of time that I had given myself to figure out my feelings, I felt like I had not made progress at all. Not in the slightest.  Like I was stuck deciding if the feelings that were deemed ‘not normal’, were doomed to plague me until Gage was able to give me his answer—like I defined them based off of him. My eyes looked up at Asher once more, his body, his aura, even his smile radiated a warmth that I felt I had been looking for for a long time. But, the feeling that I was betraying Gage also burned inside me like a hot branding iron. I couldn’t find a way to give into it, give into Asher. I needed to get everything sorted, and hopefully soon, with Gage before I could move onto the next step. A question blared within my mind, a question that even distracted me from the huge presence that was my best friend. 

Just who was Asher Samuels?