(Warning Cringey Content, Violence)

Previously: He makes a content noise and then says, even softer, “If you earn it I won’t let you get hurt either.” Then embarrassed he says something gruffly in a different language and walks away. I try to make sense of it but it just seems like, once again, them being nice because they care.  

“Hmm.” I say out loud and start lifting an arm shakily. I get it about to a thirty degree angle before I have to let it flop limply. “Almost able to move again.” I mumble out loud. I can’t wait until I can roll myself over onto my side. A splash from far away and loud exclamations make me flinch and spike my heart rate.

San crawls up beside me so quietly I don’t sense him until he breathes on my face. He covers my mouth and makes a shushing motion after the initial jump. Then picking me up he drags me into the cave. Except as soon as my feet leave the water, I clench my teeth and San's hand hurts as he presses it harder against my mouth in an attempt to muffle the noises.

“Please.” He whispers directly into my ear, “You must not make a noise.”

I writhe silently in pain, ‘Then you’d better hurry up and move me because I can’t risk opening my mouth to tell you that right now.’ The confusing splashing and fighting noises continue. Letting go of my mouth slowly, San drags me faster, stone bites at my flesh. I wish I could cover my own mouth. I bite my tongue a little and then gasp. San lunges to cover my mouth with both hands. ‘Hurry!’ I think mentally, ‘Don’t just sit there, pinning me to the floor, letting me feel this agony! Put me in the nest or whatever, please!’

I arch my back letting out muffled moans and groans. Now that I have limited use of my limbs, I can lift my legs a little and struggle to grab him with my arms. From the sound of his breathing, he’s looking over his shoulder, not at me. I let out a pathetic whimper, the pain feels like burning. He looks back and carefully scoops me up, one hand covering my mouth still. I notice an instant relief when I’m placed in the nest. I cover my own mouth breathing against my hand as he starts piling the moss around me higher. Hiding me from view I guess.

'That’s a lot of moss,' I think as the burning fades. “What’s that noise?” I ask finally when I know I won’t scream in pain.

“One of the others.” San says grimly, “I have to go.”

“Is Kal okay?”

“Yes, but we’ll have to make sure not to lead them to you.” San’s voice moves further away. “See you soon.” 

I wait a long, long time and the splashing, voices, arguing, and fighting fade, until there is only silence. But it’s heavy. There’s only the sound of my light ragged breath and…someone else’s. I can’t remember exactly when I noticed it but I'm assuming they are asleep because of how quiet and steady it is.

That is until the sound starts getting closer.

“Mmm what is this?” The mysterious breather muses, then pokes at the moss nest, muttering in German, “What are those boys hiding this time?”

I don't understand and hold my breath but panic helplessly as I feel myself get uncovered. There’s a long moment where I sense him breathing on me. ‘He can see me right?’ Then he lets out a long sigh. Murmuring in German again he picks me up, startling me, in turn startling him. He exclaims, dropping me. I’m too panicked to say anything other than letting out a squeak when I land safely in the moss nest.

The “man” makes a concerning growling noise and grabs me kind of roughly by my forearms lifting me up he roars in my face, “Get out!” I close my eyes tightly. He kind of just flings me, I rag doll and lay there, weakly lifting my hands to placate him. He shoves me a few more times and I end up half out of the nest. The head splitting pain returns and curling into a ball, I become incapacitated. I guess him watching me writhe in pain and cry wasn’t enough to dissipate his fear and anger because realizing I was wounded and couldn’t leave he picks me up by what was left of my shirt, like a scruff, and literally chucks me out of the cave and into the water. I let out a sharp breath from the temperature difference. I feel bubbles all around me stirred up from the splash. Then he appears in the darkness and pushes my head and body to the bottom of the pool. I struggle in what feels like slow motion, my face scrunches up in determination, ‘Not again.’

I dig my nails into his thick wrists and let out a burst of bubbles, ‘I’m not going to get murdered again!’ Then suddenly he lifts me above the water. I gasp and cough and choke as he looks at me closely. I tremble frightened and confused then he turns my face to one side and the other. He snaps his fingers and I flinch. “So you CAN hear. Can you not see me?” He questions finally. I shake my head no, gasping. He tests this a few times I guess, because he’s quiet for a long time before finally making a contented noise.

“No wonder your kind cast you out.”

‘That’s just low.’ I glare.

He must not have liked that because he lifts me easily by my neck, making me choke and gasp.

“We have laws against killing the old, sick, and crippled but if they are disrespectful,” he squeezes my neck making me squeak, “they are punished.”

I hold onto his wrist with both hands, struggling to lift myself but he doesn’t squeeze any tighter. I look away but it’s hard not to scrunch up my face in pain, “Please.” I choke.

“Oh you can speak as well…Don’t think that just because I helped you, that you are welcome here, Außenstehender.” His voice is thick with hatred and disgust. He drops me and I splash wildly to resurface. Only for him to crouch and tilt my head up. I hate that I’m on the verge of sobs but I’m not used to this type of treatment. He sniffs me a few times, “You smell sick and docile.” He pokes my chest as I hold out my hand, scooting backwards so I can sit. “But I can sense the strength within you, you’ll be put to use. Everyone has to work for their place here.” He steps out of the water, “Once you’ve healed, I’ll come back for you.” Then just like that he’s gone.

He yelled, attacked, tried to kill me and then was like oh we can use you, bye. I cover my face and lay backwards against the stone, stupid sobs wrack my weak body, ‘What is wrong with everyone?’ I angrily smack the stone next to me fists balled, ‘Why me?!’

When I calm down I realize that this time being blind has saved me. The darker part of my brain reminds me that being blind got me here in the first place.

A long, long time later, probably at the end of the day I hear two familiar voices returning. There’s a startled gasp and then San is crouched beside me lifting me up, “What are you doing out here?” He hesitates, not sure where to touch me or if he should. I forget where I am or who is holding me, shivering from the cold I wrap my arms around who I assume is my father. ‘I must have fallen asleep in the bathtub.’

I closed my eyes again slowly waking up to the realization that this isn’t a nightmare. That the creature making an excited gasping noise to his friend isn’t my father. I lift my arms to his head and before he can react, curl my hand around his horns, ‘he isn’t even human.’

I let go with a gasp, recoiling in fear.

San is a little shaken and I can hear it in his voice when he talks to Kal, “Why did he..?”

Kal moves to my side and looks down at me, “Hey human.” I look towards the noise, then he crouches making me flinch at the sudden movement. He takes my hands.

“Wait don’t!” I exclaim.

He gently places them on his horns, “See, not scary.” He says monotone. I hesitate, knowing that they didn't deserve the way I was treating them. I move my fingers delicately over the horn to the bone-like base where it connected to his head. I forget myself for a moment and move my hand down his cheek, it feels like stone but moves when he blinks.

I gasp and jerk my hand back towards myself, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, you’re curious.”

“N,no I’m not usually so intimate with strangers, I don’t normally touch people’s faces, it’s actually an annoying stereotype.” I ramble off. ‘I haven’t even touched Sarah or Kris’s faces yet.’ I think, melancholy.

San, getting jealous I guess, takes my hands, “You can touch me, if we’re confusing to you, it might help.” I can feel his rough and calloused hands in mine. Then when he lowers his head to make it easier on me, I flinch a little, touching his skin. It’s like rock as well, brushing it I make it to where his ear would be.

At first it seems normal then he giggles and ducks away making me move all the way up to the very tip. “Wow,” I say, “You have large, pointy ears.”

Kal chuckles, “Wait till you see our teeth.” I find the statement confusing.

I tilt my head, “You know I can’t see right?”

"Yeah it must be really hard for you to see down here.” San soothes. “We mean once we are able to light lanterns.”

I smile a little and then start over, “Even if you were to light a lantern I wouldn’t be able to see, I’m visually impared.” I wait for them to get it but they are quiet. “I’m blind.”

“Oh.” Kal says first, “I think I now understand why you have been so calm, up till now.”