Late in the morning on Friday, Cooper was sitting outside the apartment building, waiting to get picked up. Ellie and Abra were waiting with him.

Ellie had checked through his bag for him and made sure he had everything, which was good because he’d nearly forgotten to pack deodorant and clean socks. He probably could have borrowed some from somebody, but still. That was one less thing he’d have to deal with.

Cooper had been told that Mason would be picking him up, but the bland but expensive looking dark grey car that pulled up in front of them had him wondering if he’d been lied to. Mason could afford nice things, but his tastes tended to be flashier.

It was Mason who got out of the car, though, and Cooper immediately hugged him. “I’m glad you’re the one picking me up. Mum said you would be, but I thought it might be a trick to make sure I didn’t try to back out last minute.”

Mason grinned. “Well, she is a filthy fucking liar. Hey Ellie, Abra. You two been taking good care of my brother for me?”

“He’s a handful, but we manage,” Ellie told him. “I expect you to return the favour and take good care of him for us this weekend.”

“That’s kinda a challenge with our parents, but I’m willing to choke out my own mother if I have to. You ready to go, Coop?”

“I guess so. You don’t need to pee or anything?”

“In a toilet?” Mason scoffed. “No. That would decrease the number of times I get to pull off onto a quiet side street and piss on the tires of dad’s shitty car.”

“Aw. I went to the toilet right before I came down to wait for you.”

Mason clapped Cooper on the back. “Are you familiar with the word ‘diuretic’? Let’s head off. We’ll stop at a drive thru and I’ll buy you some coffee.”

#

Normally Cooper just drank instant coffee he made for himself at home because it was cheap and easy, but Mason bought him one of the fancy expensive ones with whipped cream and way too much sugar. They grabbed some doughnuts as well and then got back into the car and properly began their journey.

Cooper took a bite of a powdered doughnut and washed it down with a mouthful of coffee. “So, how were things looking before you left to pick me up? Has the drama already begun, or is it going to be my job to bring that?”

“This is an interesting one, actually, because the drama got there before either of us. Did mum tell you that Logan’s fiance is pregnant?”

Cooper choked on a mouthful of coffee. “Oh, shit. Really? No, she didn’t mention that.”

Mason laughed. “Yeah, I’m not fucking surprised. Imagine that. The golden child who can do no wrong gets his girlfriend pregnant.”

“Huh. I guess I’m going to be an uncle. How far along is she?”

“I think she said about four months.”

“Huh.”

“It’s kinda surreal. But yeah, he’s marrying her now which is of course what mum and dad want, but still. He’s supposed to be perfect, and that’s not so much. At least not in mum and dad’s eyes.”

“Yeah. Wow.”

“I alternate between laughing about it and just feeling kinda sorry for him. Like, I guess I was jealous of him growing up because everything seemed to come so easy to him and mum and dad were actually proud of him, but I don’t know that there’s ever been a point where I’ve actually wanted to be him.”

“That’s a good point. I don’t always know how I feel about being myself, but I definitely wouldn’t rather be him.”

“If only because it would mean talking to mum and dad more than twice a year.”

“Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life thinking I wanted them to be happy with me,” Cooper said around a mouthful of doughnut. “Turns out I actually wanted them to fuck off and never talk to me again.”

“Yeah. You’d think those things would be polar opposites, but they’re surprisingly easy to confuse.”

Cooper licked powdered sugar off his fingers. “You know, I’m generally dubious about family stuff, but I’m kind of down with being an uncle.”

“Same, actually. The great thing about babies is they can’t question what you’re doing with your life.”

“Do mum and dad still give you shit?”

“Eh…” Mason took one hand off the steering wheel and tilted it from side to side. “They’ve come to terms with what I do, but they really wish I’d be more cooperative with their attempts to show me off. Like, they used to try to get me to do freelance work for their friends and business associates even though I make more money working on my own stuff and programming someone else’s app would bore me out of my fucking mind. That’s why I have the fart sounds app.”

“The one that just makes different fart sound effects and nothing else?”

Mason smiled. “Yup, that’s the one. Now whenever mum and dad try to show off my work, they have to worry that whoever they’re showing it to will go and look at the other apps I’ve made and find that. I told them I made it for the kids of a single mother I dated, but that was a complete fucking lie. There was no single mother. The only single was me, because I wasn’t dating anyone. I just made it because I knew they’d always have something to complain about and I wanted it to be that, every single time, because at least it’s hilarious and I feel like I’m winning.”

“This weekend is just going to be a reminder of why I hate our parents, isn’t it?”

“I’m afraid so. I’m not sure why you agreed to come, but I wasn’t about to let you go through it alone.”

“I agreed to come because mum said you were coming.”

Mason let out a deep sigh. “That fucking liar. She got us both by using the other one as a lure.”

Cooper groaned and rubbed his hands over his eyes. “Fuck.”

“We can just keep on driving, if you want. Go on a fun road trip instead. What are they going to do? Report us for stealing dad’s car? Pfft…”

“You know, I’d actually be down, but now I want to meet Logan’s fiance if there’s going to be a baby.”

Mason pressed his head back against the headrest. “Yeah. I do want to spend time with Logan and his fiance.”

“Hopefully it’ll be like when we were kids and we can go off and do our own thing like ninety percent of the time.”

Mason clicked his fingers at Cooper. “That’s some good positive thinking. You know about this positive thinking thing?”

“Uhh… I’ve heard that it’s a good thing to do?”

“Oh, there is. But there’s a complicated meta to it that they don’t tell you about. Or at least my first therapist didn’t. For like a year with her she got me onto this CBT thing, which it turns out doesn’t just stand for cock and ball torture. It’s cognitive behavioural therapy. It’s a lot of things, and one of the core features is challenging unhelpful thoughts.”

“That sounds healthy. What’s the meta?”

“Well, see, the way I went about it at first was I’d have a negative thought, like this weekend family trip is going to be balls, and then I’d tell myself I shouldn’t think negatively and maybe it’ll be good, but it always just felt wrong. It didn’t make me feel better but my therapist said it was supposed to, so what the fuck? But then I moved and I got a new therapist and she walked through what I was doing with me and realised where I was fucking up.

“Try imagining what I was telling myself in mum’s voice.” Mason cleared his throat and pitched his voice higher. “Oh, Mason, the trip hasn’t even started and already you’re complaining. Do you have to be so negative about everything?”

Cooper made a face. “Ugh. You’re too good at that.”

Mason laughed. “But you see my point, right? It’s not helpful. It doesn’t make you feel better. It pisses me off less if I imagine it in the voice of someone I like, but no matter what it’s just shitty and invalidating. Telling yourself you shouldn’t feel how you feel doesn’t make you feel better, and lying to yourself obviously isn’t going to work. If you want to actually think positively rather than just add another layer to your negative thinking, you have to find good things that you actually believe. Like, I haven’t seen my brother Cooper in a while and I’m looking forward to spending time with him. Now you do one.”

“Uh… can I copy yours? Honestly, spending time with you is the one thing I am actually looking forward to about this trip.”

“Sure. And we both want to get to know Logan’s fiance, and honestly Logan’s mellowed out as he’s gotten older so I do want to catch up with him. And if worst comes to worst, I’m a fucking adult. I can leave any time I want and I can drive you home any time you want. Even if dad wants to be super fucking petty and refuse to lend me his car to drive you back early, I can just rent one. They have no power over either of us unless we let them.”

Cooper nodded. “You’re right. That does make me feel better.”

“And that’s how you do positive thinking. Find the good things you actually believe. Now, chug the rest of your coffee. I just spotted a secluded looking side street. It’s time for our first pee break.”