Alexis

“Keep that up and there will be no more punching bag.”

“Can I help you?” I grit through my teeth, putting my hand out to stop the bag from swaying. That woman has been watching me for the past thirty minutes. She’s getting on my nerves.

“Why would I come to you for help?”

“Why are you still here?” My jaw clenches as I try to control my temper. I would rather she leave me alone. Hell, I’d rather she hate me, keep her distance the way everyone else does here. Even Rhys. Even Hamid and Amy. I’m alone again. Isn’t that what I wanted?

“Is this not a free land? Am I not allowed to stay where I wish?” She challenges, sweeping her braids over her shoulder.

“I just think it’s funny,” I say through a dry laugh. “You wanted to leave Nova Carta so bad. And for what? To follow some misfortunate band of misfits? Why don’t you go live some fulfilling life with the mortals here? You have the entire first province at your fingertips and yet you’re choosing to stay here and bother me.”

She’s quiet as I send my fist through the bag. It cuts my knuckles open again. The bandages wrapped around my palm flowers with droplets of red. I don’t feel it. I don’t even notice until the tan leather of the sack is smeared with blood.

“Perhaps you don’t realize it, Atlan, what with the way you only see through a red haze of self pity, but you aren’t the only one being stared at and avoided here.”

“So why do you stay?” I ask, my voice a deadly quiet. 

“Where else shall I go? I’m not given the luxury of a tourist in this world.”

“Well you are no wanted man. Don’t act like we’re the same, you and I.”

“Aren’t we?” She sneers. “Atlas fucked us over, so we ran to the protection of the Alloy allegiance, only to realize that they’re just as bad. You are a wanted man, yes. But there are people after me as well.”

The next hit sends the punching bag flying off its hook. It hits the ground with a smack. I’m silent, still as a mouse. But inside I’m seething, shaking with rage.

“You don’t know the first thing about me,” I say, calmly. “Don’t compare us.”

“I know that you are well hated here. Like I am. And sure it may be for different reasons, but shouldn’t we stick together?”

“No,” I say, sharply. “And if you came to make an alliance with me, you might as well just leave. I don’t work with anyone. I don’t work for anyone. I don’t need anyone.”

“And yet you act like the world is ending over some brat!” she argues, getting to her feet. She steps closer, almost as tall as me when she stands.

“Because it might as well be!” I yell. The lights flicker off as I do. She’s getting in my head. I can’t let some stranger get in my head. I won’t lose my cool over something so stupid. I lower my voice again, my eyes plucking her out of the sudden darkness. “And he’s not a brat. He’s a soldier.” I clench my fists and stride past her for the door. “Unlike you,” I add, driving the point home as I march out into the hallway.

But this woman won’t quit. She won’t leave me alone.

“Why the hell are you following me?”

“Where are you going?” She asks, like I didn’t just insult her. Like we’re friends or something.

“Anywhere if it means you leaving me alone.”

“I overheard you talking to the Element!” They yell when my strides get longer. I slow down just a little. “You’re leaving tomorrow to see a man who says to wake your student up. Is that right?”

“What does it matter to you?” I ask, quietly now.

“Take me with you.”

“Absolutely not.”

“I can be useful.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I seethe. “We don’t need your help.”

“You know what I’ve been doing in Nova Carta? Sitting and waiting for change while spending each day worrying that someone will recognize me and take me back there. Do you understand? Three years I spent, an escaped prisoner. If I have to spend one more fucking day just sitting and waiting, I’m going to put a bullet in my head.”

“That’s not my problem.”

“I’m coming with you and you cannot stop me.”

Fucking stubborn son of a bitch. I stop hard on my heel, almost causing her to bump into me.

“This is not a field trip,” I whisper harshly. “I am not babysitting. So how about you go back to your pretty little Atlas walls, sleep in your pretty little Atlas bed in your pretty little elite fanclub with your rich family and crusty little white dog and stay the fuck out of my hair. Hm?”

She does not wince, or even flinch. She only crosses her arms over her chest.

“I left that life for a reason. My family’s bloodline ends with me. I’m tougher than I look and I won’t jeopardize your mission. So, like I said, you cannot stop me.”

With that, the woman storms toward the other end of the hall. I freeze, seeing the person she walks past, the person who stands still as a statue, staring at me with wide eyes.

“You-” she starts, her mouth the only thing unfrozen from the rest of her body. “You’re going to wake her up? Joan?”

I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose with my fingers. “I’m going to try. But Ezra informed me that this is a risky move. And she might not make it.” I don’t sugarcoat the truth for Emi. I’ve never been one to do that, not when I know she can handle the truth.

“I’m coming with you,” she says suddenly. 

“I won’t allow it. I’ve already put her in danger, I won’t risk your life too-”

“That’s not your decision!” She yells across the hall, her tan cheeks turning pink with frustration. Her voice carries easily, despite her small frame. “You have no jurisdiction over my decisions anymore, Alexis. You lost that authority when you stopped being my instructor. And you lost my respect when you chose the Alloy over him. Over us.”

“I had no choice!” I yell back, unsure as to why I’m even trying to defend myself. I’m not used to wasting my breath on changing someone’s opinion of me, no matter how wrong it is. But somehow… this time, it would hurt me if I let her keep thinking that I chose the council over Aiden.

“It’s so easy to judge but what was I supposed to do with his life on the line?”

Emi stops, her eyes narrowed and eyebrows scrunched.

“What do you mean?”

“What would you do if you thought this was the only way to save Joan? Even if you knew the risks? Wouldn’t you take it?”

“Don’t,” Emi laughs dryly, cruelly. “It’s not the same.”

“Isn’t it?”

“So you’re telling me you ran to Clovis, the very woman who killed Mizuki, who threatened Aiden, who put us in prison as - as terrorists, because you thought he could help protect Aiden? Do you take me as some kind of idiot?”

“Not Clovis,” I say with a firm shake of my head. “Councilman Lysander Harris.”

Emi frowns, but I can see the crease between her brows lessen. She opens and closes her mouth like a fish, unsure whether to believe me or not. I wouldn’t, if I were her. But it’s the truth. It’s the truth.

“Why?” She asks, her voice strained. “Why would he consider helping you?”

“Because I had information he needed. About Atlas. And he’s a corrupted leader who doesn’t turn down a good bribe. Everyone knows that about him.”

“And what,” she scoffs. “What could you possibly know about Atlas that’s worth him turning a blind eye to smuggling away the legend of the prophecy?” 

“I know of a way in. A way through the walls. And, while it takes a lot of energy, I can spy on them if I choose to.”

“How?” She asks, skeptically. “With your scary freakish shadow powers?”

“Yes.”

After a beat, Emi yells in frustration. But I’m hopeful. Because at least this means she’s considering the possibility of my words.

“I’m going with you tomorrow. To wake Joan up. And then I’m going to get her to read your mind. And you’re going to let her. Because, if she doesn’t, I won’t believe you. And I’ll - I’ll hate you. Forever.”

She marches off back into her room before slamming the door shut, the echo ringing across the cave halls.

But maybe this is a chance… a chance to make something right, even just one small thing.

***