Hello everyone it's Blankskies I just want to say that in this chapters the depictions of depression and mentions suicide. Please read at your own risk.

Everything got worse as the week went on. More slurs were written on my locker to the point the janitor had stopped trying to clean them off. Everyone looked at me like I was a diseased rat. Frankly, that's how I started to feel. I didn’t like this attention. I didn’t like it when people looked at me as if something was wrong with me. After school on Wednesday, I practically ran out of the building and started walking. I just needed a breather from everything at school. I needed to get away from the people at school. When people talked about me they didn't even bother lowering their voices. It seemed I was always in earshot of someone talking about me and most of the time it was negative. It figures in a school of over 300 students people already knew who I was. It wasn't just students even teachers started to treat me differently. Some would completely just ignore me in class. It was times like this when I felt truly alone. Maybe this is what I get for being a boy who likes other boys maybe there is something wrong with me. Maybe they are right maybe I am just a mistake. Somehow lost in my thought I walked to Felix’s street. I have only been to his house a few times and yet I already memorized the way to his house. I continued walking to Felix’s house. Right now I just needed to see someone who didn’t look at me like I was a freak.

I knocked on the front door. It took a while before I heard Mrs. Claytons voice coming to the door. “I’m coming. I coming hold your horses,” Mrs. Claytons said. She opened the door and was surprised to see me. “Oh, Trevor what I wonderful surprise. What brings you here sweetheart,” She said.

“I came to see how Felix was doing ma’am,” I said.

“Oh aren’t you such a sweet boy coming to check on your injured friend. Come on in Felix is in his room you can just go right up,” She said.

“Okay thank you, ma’am,” I said.

“Trevor sweetie I am making a batch of chocolate chip cookies would you like some,” She said.

“Yes ma’am that sounds great,” I said as I walked up the stairs.

I walked up to Felix's room. I knocked on his door but there was no reply. So I knocked again and still no reply. So I opened the door and walked in. Felix wasn’t there. I figured he was in the restroom or something so sat down on his bed to wait for him. As I waited I looked around his room. It was still as messy as always. I just laughed at remembering how frantic he was to clean his room the first time he brought me here. Even though his room was a mess I enjoyed it a lot more. His room was more comfortable than my own. He had all his awards on his dresser. He even had a tv with a game system. I lay back on his bed. His full-size bed was a lot comfier than the rigid twin I had. I closed my eyes and I soon drifted to sleep. 

I was woken from my nap when something heavy landed on my chest. I opened my eyes and the heavy thing on my chest was Felix. “What are you doing,” I asked.

“Oh, nothing. I just found a new teddy bear laying on my bed so I just wanted to snuggle with it,” He said giving a cunning smile.

“You know it’s rude to wake someone up by jumping on them,” I said.

“You could say the same thing about sleeping in someone else's bed without their permission,” He said. 

I just rolled my eyes. “So are you going to tell me why you are here,” He asked?

“I just wanted to see you or do I need your permission to come here,” I said.

“No, you don’t. It just looks like something is wrong. You can tell me if anything happened,” He said.

“No nothing happened,” I quickly snapped. He just looked at me like he could tell something was wrong, but he didn’t want to push. “I just wanted to see you. I was really lonely and just needed to see you,” I said. I then hugged him. I buried my face in his chest. I just needed someone to hold me. Felix sensed that and he just hugged me back. We sat there for around ten minutes just sitting in silence holding onto each other.

“Trevor you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I want to help if something is wrong,” Felix said. His voice showed concern. I know he wants to help but it would kill me if someone would treat Felix how they are treating me.

“Felix you holding me in your arms is enough for me right now,” I said.

“Okay if you say so. But hey at least I will be back next week,” He said.

“I can’t wait. Just next time you are playing football don’t get tackled so bad,” I said.

“Don’t worry Trevor I won’t because you are the only guy I want on top of me,” He said.

My face went red. “Shut up you pervert. We are definitely not there yet,” I said giving him a little shove.

“Okay don’t worry I won’t rush you. We can go at whatever pace feels right. Just know I can’t wait for the day we actually do it,” He said.

“I know you can't you pervert,” I said.

“I’m your pervert,” He said. Then grabbed me again and kissed me. His warm tongue entered my mouth. I always found it weird when our tongues touched like this, but it felt so good. We were both too preoccupied with putting our tongues in each other's mouth that we didn’t hear the door open.

“Boys I brought you guys some cookies fresh from the oven,” Mrs. Claytons said walking into the middle of us kissing.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t know you two were I will leave the cookies and go,” She said quickly leaving Felix's room.

I quickly pulled away from Felix. “Oh my god your mom sh-she just saw us,” I said panicking.

“Trevor come down. It’s alright,” He said.

“How can it be alright? Your mother welcomed me into her home. And she just saw what I was doing with her son. Oh my god, what she must think of me. I-I need to go. I need to go right now,” I said frantically.

“Trevor wait. Come on let's talk this out,” Felix said. But I wouldn’t listen. I ran out of his house. I needed to go. I needed to get away from here. I ran home. Over the night Felix tried calling me but I wouldn’t answer. I wouldn’t even look at the text he sent. I just hid in my room, because at least locked in my room I was safe from everything out there. Safe from homophobic bullies, safe from homophobic parents, and safe from the disappointed looks of those you let down.

I tried to sleep but I just couldn’t around three in the morning I drifted to sleep due to how exhausted I was. I got to school but I was too exhausted to focus through most of my class. What made the day worse was that I was called to the principal's office. I thought that the school finally took notice of the defacing of my locker. I walked to the front office. I went up to the secretary at the desk. She was an older woman. When she saw me she looked at me like she was annoyed that I interrupted her game of online solitaire. “Excuse me ma'am I was called to the principal's office,” I said.  “Sure thing kid just in those chairs the principal will come to get you,” She said not even looking at me and going back to her game. She then picked up a phone and dialed a number. She talked pretty quietly but I figured that she must have been talking to the principal. 

I sat down in a chair. I didn’t know why I was here. I was freaking out. Was I in trouble? Was he going to blame me for the vandalism on my locker? The principal soon came out. The principal was an older heavy-set man. He had no hair on his head instead it look like all his hair moved down onto his face to form a well-groomed grey beard.

“Trevor you can come into my office now,” He said. His voice was deep and soft. I got up from the chair and followed him to his office. If I knew who was waiting for me in his office I would have just ran away. I got to his office and already sitting there was my father and the look on his face showed that he was pissed. “Trevor I have been talking about the bullying that has been going on this past week. As you know that our school is against bullying. So the administration would like to know what we can do to help,”

Just as I was about to speak my father spoke. “Firstly we would like these rumors to stop. Especially with the defacing of my son's locker,”

“Okay sir we can do that,” The principal said.

“Frankly it is ridiculous that it took until Thursday for something to be done about this. My son is on track to get scholarships from top schools, and I work with some very important figures in government, and rumors like these only hurt both of us,” My father said. And of course, he brings it all back to him.

“Yes, sir I see your point. But maybe we can let Trevor talk. This issue is about him after all. Trevor how we proceed with this issue depends on you if this is name calling and rumors being spread the punishment for those who did this won’t be as bad, but if students are harassing you based on your sexuality the punishment will be a lot worse. I just need to hear it from you are students bullying you because of sexuality or are these just rumors? Just know that matter what you choose I will help you with the best of my abilities,” 

I felt trapped. The principal was wanting me to admit that I was being bullied based on my sexuality. I felt my father glare at me. No matter what I choose I couldn’t say what I wanted to with my father in the same room. It would only make things worse. “Sir these are just rumors,” I said. 

“Okay, I see alright then well I get things fixed so this bullying stops,” The principal said.

My father got up “Trevor we will talk more about this when you get home do you understand,” Father said.

“Yes sir,” I mumbled. 

My father walked out of the office. “Trevor one minute please,” The principal said. I stopped and turned around.

 “Trevor I don’t exactly what’s happening with you. What I do know is that this can be a very challenging part of your life. Just know that I am here to talk if you want to talk with someone. I may not be able to relate to your situation exactly. But I have witnessed another young person go through something very similar. A young girl who had her whole future ahead of her just like you. I just wish I had given her the support she needed. If I had she would still be here today,” He said his once soft voice breaking. I looked at him he was actually upset. “Just please contact me whenever you are feeling low. I will always be willing to lend an ear,” He said handing me a piece of paper and on it was his phone number.

I was surprised a man that I only talked to for a few minutes was already offering more support than I have gotten from my father. “I will sir,” I said. As I started walking out the door I saw a single picture frame on his desk. It picture of him when he was younger next to a teenage girl. At the time I didn’t think much of it. Probably because I was too worried about things going on in my life. If I paid more attention to what he was saying I would have been able to see that he was really wanting to help me. I was too busy worrying about what was going to happen when I got home.