Jeremy's POV:

We've only been here for about an hour and a half and Amanda is already drunk. She doesn't seem to care if she'll get in trouble for it, so I'll have to pray for her since she won't pray for herself. Amanda is supposed to be my future and if I want to appease my parents and the church, we need to both be good in God's eyes.

Amanda is holding my hand and introducing me to a bunch of people that I'm not going to remember.

I don't even know what my plan after high school is and I'm in my senior year. My parents have told me I can work in the neighborhood and forgo college, and they think Amanda should be doing the same.

As long as Amanda is happy, I don't really care what she does.

However, if my parents don't approve of her, I might have to break up with her because Father Peter always emphasizes how I need to be loyal to my parents. He has pointed out and noticed that Amanda is straying from the church and doesn't go to confession; only to Sunday mass with her parents, and even then she sometimes misses it.

"This is one of my best friends!" Amanda calls to me, pointing at a girl with dark skin and almond shaped eyes. "Janelle, this is my boyfriend, Jeremy!"

Janelle is slightly taller than me and she's wearing a short black dress that I'm sure I'd be drooling over if I was normal. Her hair is straightened and she grins as she shakes my hand with the one that isn't holding a red cup full of some kind of alcohol.

"The high schooler?!" she shouts over the music, and Amanda nods. "Nice to meet you!"

Her breath smells like alcohol and I can tell she's almost as drunk as Amanda. The only reason I don't think she's as drunk as Amanda is because she isn't swaying and clutching someone to stay standing.

"This is my roommate!" she tells me, grabbing the arm of a guy who has shaggy brown hair and isn't wearing a shirt or facing us. "Carter, turn around! Amanda brought her boyfriend!"

I wish he didn't turn around.

Oh, God, forgive me for my sinful thoughts and whatever horrible dreams I'll have about this man tonight.

He's absolutely gorgeous and I try to keep myself from staring. His chest is gleaming with sweat and he has a very defined six pack and I have the terrible urge to touch and lick. Carter's eyes meet mine and I swear the world stops; they're the brightest green I've ever seen and I kind of want to die on the spot for the amount of confession I'll have to do for my current thoughts.

"Hey," he says, and his voice should not make me want to step closer but it does. "I'm Carter."

I shake his hand and they're literally the softest skin I've ever felt and I want nothing more than to fall into his embrace.

No. No. No.

Jeremy, you're an idiot.

I grab the rubber band around my wrist and pull it as far as I can and snap it against my skin. It makes tears spring to my eyes, but I fight them back because I deserve worse.

Carter gives me a strange look and it's clear that he's not as drunk as Janelle or Amanda. Thankfully, he doesn't say anything and instead leans over to whisper something in Janelle's ear.

Well, probably not whisper, but the music is so loud that I can't hear it anyway.

"Oh, yeah! We're going to play some games in the basement and you two should come!" Janelle shouts, pushing herself between Amanda and I and linking arms with us. "We're friends with the host so we're allowed down there!"

Carter chuckles and the sound makes me shiver, but it's not the same kind of shiver that I get when I walk down the aisle in the church or face my dad. No, this one is more pleasant and I actually kind of enjoy it.

This is wrong!

What's wrong with me?!

I don't stop, though, and I walk down the stairs. I make sure that Amanda is stable and doesn't fall, and thankfully Janelle is pretty helpful because she's not as drunk.

There's a small group downstairs and it's much quieter so I can at least hear myself think.

"Where's your shirt?" some guy with a red baseball cap calls, looking pointedly at Carter.

He sits down on the couch, grabbing a water bottle from a cooler on the ground next to him. "Akira threw up all over himself so I gave him my shirt," he says, looking down at his abs. "I'm pretty proud of how I look, so it wasn't a big deal."

"Reminding all the girls how gay you are?" the same guy asks, making me speak out before I have a chance to think.

"You're gay?!" I exclaim, before covering my mouth. "Sorry, I don't... I didn't mean to say that aloud."

Amanda elbows my side gently.

Carter raises an eyebrow. "Yes, I am. Is there a problem?"

With you being gay?

Definitely not.

The only problem here is that my sinful mind is way more attracted now and it needs to stop.

"No, of course not! Sorry, I just didn't... sorry," I mutter, my face burning.

I personally have no problem with gay people; it's their choice and not everyone is Catholic or feels a connection to God. I don't think they deserve to go to Hell, but it's not a choice I get to make. It's not a choice that I'll make. My parents would probably kill me on the spot as opposed to just disowning me.

"What're we playing?" Janelle interrupts, breaking the awkward tension in the room.

"Seven minutes in heaven," baseball cap guy says, earning groans from around the room. "Come on, we're all cool with each other!"

Amanda grabs my arm. "You don't have to play. It's sometimes a making out game."

"Are you playing?" I ask.

She shrugs. "I won't if you don't want me to. I haven't played while we're dating if that's what you're thinking," she says, sounding rather serious for someone so drunk.

"We can play," I mumble, because I don't want to be a buzzkill.

Adultery is a sin, but we're not married, and as long as we're both okay with it, it's not actually a sin, right?

Amanda grins. "Look at my boyfriend being freaky!" she slurs, kissing my cheek and writing our names on two pieces of paper. "We're in!"

I'm terrified, but I don't want to disappoint the whole room. It's no surprise that I'm the youngest because I'm still in high school and everyone else is a college student as far as I know. I don't want to disappoint them or make Amanda think I'm lame.

College kids do this all the time, right?

My parents and Father Peter will never know.

Besides, if I get picked I can just talk with the other person.

We don't have to do the kissing part.

All of the names are thrown into the same pot, which has me grabbing Amanda's arm.

"Are they not separating the girls and boys names?" I ask, and she shakes her head.

"No. It's not the nineteen hundreds, Jer. Homophobia is overrated. Besides, it's just a game. It doesn't mean anything," she says, smiling at me.

Her words don't make the most sense, but I'll just have to take her word for it.

The first two names are drawn, and it's Janelle and red baseball cap boy, who's actually named Peyton. They disappear for the seven minutes and when they reappear, both of them have puffy lips and Peyton is blushing.

Janelle just looks satisfied with herself.

"Okay, next two!" Peyton calls, his voice cracking a bit. "Alrighty... Jeremy, you're paired with Carter."

Is God punishing me for sinning so much?

Amanda pushes me forward, giving me a drunken smile. "Go on, Jer!"

My face is burning and I just want to run away.

Carter grabs my arm, scoffing as he pulls me toward the dark closet where we have to spend seven minutes together.

"Would you relax?" Carter asks is his deep voice once he and I are stuck in the dark closet together. "I'm not going to do anything."

"Oh."

Is that disappointment I feel?

There's something seriously wrong with me.

"Unless..." I feel his hands grab my wrists and he pulls me into his lap, making me tense up. "You want me to?"

I can smell weed on him and it's not very strong, but it must explain why he's so relaxed and has been so chilled out all night.

"Uh..." I trail off as Carter's hands move to my waist, making me brace myself on his chest.

He's still not wearing a shirt.

Oh my Lord, why do I like feeling his chest?!

"We've only got about six minutes left," he whispers, and I can feel his breath on my neck and I freeze up when I feel him press his lips to my neck. "You can tell me to stop whenever, Jeremy."

I need to leave right now.

This is wrong, this is going to get me a one way ticket to daily confession for a year to try to make up for this sin. I shouldn't be letting a man touch me and I certainly shouldn't like it.

I don't move away from him and when he trails his lips up my jawline and the corner of my lips. A soft noise escapes my mouth and I gasp when Carter slots his lips with mine.

All thoughts fly away from my brain and I close my eyes as he kisses me and guides my mouth against this. His hands are on my waist and then move under my shirt, and I feel his warm grip move along my back.

I keep trailing my hands up and down his chest, feeling every inch of skin that I can get my hands on, and he seems to like it from the way he's groaning into my mouth.

I feel myself growing harder and my urges are through the roof as I start to rub my groin against his, which makes him pull his lips from mine.

"Fuck, don't get too carried away," he groans, and I moan softly when I feel him bite along my collar bone. "We don't have enough time for that."

I want to pout, but as soon as he stops kissing me and starts talking, all of my sense come back and I scramble off his lap, falling backward and slamming my head into the wall behind me.

"Woah, are you okay?" he asks, turning on the light in the closet.

"Don't touch me!" I scream, getting up and shoving the door open, running up the stairs to the nearest bathroom.

I fall on my knees in front of the toilet and throw up, sobbing while I do so. I'm so disgusted with myself; not only did I let a man feel me up and kiss me, but I liked it.

God, please forgive me.

I grab the rubber band and pull it back as far as I can, slapping it hard against my wrist. I don't try to stop my tears when the pain ripples through my body.

There's a knock at the door and then it opens and I see Amanda and Janelle.

"Let's go," Amanda says, and I can even read the expression on her face, but she seems pretty sobered up.

Even so, I drive her to her dorm and then take the subway to my neighborhood because it's safer than walking home at night. I'm sure that if I took Amanda's car she wouldn't mind, but I'm not sure I'll be able to face her.

I enjoyed a kiss with a man more than I've ever enjoyed kissing her and then I made us leave the party.

I'm a disgusting failure and I'm sure I managed to win myself a one way ticket to Hell in the span of two hours.