Carter's POV:

All of Jeremy's texts have been dry lately. Not that he's not always a bit dry with his messaging, but he also usually has some funny remarks when I text him with dirty innuendos. However, he hasn't messaged me back all day and I've only texted him, like, four times.

I'm still in bed and I have been since I woke up four hours ago. My meet was exhausting yesterday and I have both Saturday and Sunday off to recover. I'll probably end up working out tomorrow before Amanda and Jeremy come over.

When I was seven, my mom passed away in a car accident and both my dad and I fell into a deep depression, though mine was more visible to people who knew us.

I developed a habit of eating whenever I was upset, and I ended up gaining a lot of weight. My dad tried to discourage it and get me to develop better coping mechanisms, but I blatantly ignored him.

When I turned thirteen, there was some bullying at school and I developed another coping mechanism and became a workout addict. There was a time where I became dangerously skinny and unhealthy from my addiction and not eating.

Dad got me into swim when I was fourteen and I swam all through high school and got my scholarship. He helped me to create a healthier relationship with food and find a balance, and I really owe him a lot.

I also haven't seen him in a while because of school, but he doesn't live very far from campus. In fact, he offered to let me stay with him while going to school so I could save money, but I wanted to live close to campus.

My mom had planned on putting money away for me because I'm an only child and Dad continued to put it aside while I was younger. Since my scholarship covers a lot of school, Dad let me use the money to pay rent and for whatever the scholarship doesn't cover, which is very little, so I can live closer to campus.

Thinking about my dad gives me an idea and I dial his number.

"Hm?" he grunts into the phone.

He's a pretty quiet man and he looks really big and intimidating, but he's my biggest supporter. When I came out in ninth grade, he told me that he didn't care who I was attracted to and he supported me.

Honestly, he's one of those guys who looks like he could murder you, but he's a big softie and would never harm anyone.

"Hey, Dad!" I say cheerfully. "Want to get dinner tonight?"

"Sure," he responds. "I'll order and you can come over around six."

Always straight to the point, too.

"Sounds great!" I exclaim. "See you tonight!"

With that he grunts again and hangs up. Honestly, if he hadn't supported me my entire life and told me he loved me a lot when I was young, I'd be worried that he hates me.

I'm feeling pretty happy after that conversation and I feel pretty motivated to actually get out of bed.

Janelle is still asleep, but I sneak into her room and grab her dirty laundry basket (mainly since she has some of my clothes) and run a load of laundry.

My phone dings with a text and I sprint across the kitchen to grab my phone. I feel disappointment course through me when I see that it's not Jeremy, then I mentally scold myself for it.

Jeremy is always living in my mind, but he has a girlfriend and doesn't want anything to do with me! Who cares if making out with him was one of the hottest things I've ever done? It was just a game and he made it very clear that he's not gay and that he didn't really like it at all.

...even though he did try to initiate something else.

Agh, I need to keep that kid out of my head!

Amanda: Do you want me to bring anything when Jeremy and I come over tomorrow?

Me: no, don't worry about it :) have you heard from jeremy today?

Amanda: no, but it's Saturday morning and his family always goes to the chapel to help clean it up on Saturdays, so he's probably there.

Me: oh... so he's like... religious-religious?

Amanda: I have no clue what that means.

Me: like he's super deep into it?

Amanda: ...Yeah, his whole family is. He's not homophobic or anything if that's what you're worried about. His family is, and Jeremy just doesn't really get that it's not a choice, but he's not judgmental about it.

Me: i just kind of figured that tbh based on how he reacted at the party and stuff but i'm not worried about it. just wanted to make sure i didn't piss him off by texting him all the time :))

I put my phone down and ignore her next text. I'm honestly not sure how to feel about Jeremy because I don't think sexuality is a choice and if he think it does... well, what does he think of me if he thinks I'm making the choice to like guys?

And his whole family is homophobic?

Maybe he's so deeply religious that he doesn't realize that he kind of likes guys? That would explain his reaction at the party and why he panicked. It also explains why he got a bit carried away and then freaked out.

My mom and dad took me to church when I was younger, but it was never the strict kind of church that was super homophobic or selective. In fact, the priest there helped me feel comfortable when I came out, because I feared my mom would have been disappointed.

He told me that God made me in his image and that who I am is nothing to be ashamed of. He also said that many people in other church communities often lose themselves and think that anyone who doesn't follow the status quo is lost, even if they are perfectly okay.

As long as I'm not causing harm to others and I am comfortable with myself, I am perfectly normal and good in God's eyes.

I haven't gone to church for years, even though my dad still goes every weekend because it was special to my mom. I can't say that I care for religion, but I respect if it's important to other people.

What I can't respect, however, is the priests who use it to have a power complex and shame people for who they are.

"What're you being all broody about?" Janelle asks, yawning as she walks into the kitchen. "You've been angrily staring into space for the five minutes I've been in the room."

I shrug. "Just thinking."

"Very broodingly." Janelle grabs the container of orange juice from the fridge and pours us both a glass. "How'd you sleep?"

"Fine. I'm sore as fuck, though."

She chuckles. "That's what happens when you participate in a sport that's as demanding as yours."

We make breakfast together, which is just some eggs and toasted bagels, since Janelle went shopping when I decided to fuck around with Akira.

"Do you have a thing for Amanda's boyfriend?" Janelle asks, making me choke on my bagel. "Huh, I thought you said you don't choke."

I glare at her. "Seeing as how Jeremy is Amanda's boyfriend, no, I don't have a thing for him." I take a bite out of my bagel without choking. "Why? Did she say something?"

"No... you just seem to have that glint in your eye when you talk to him. The one you get whenever you're really excited and it was nice to see last night."

I shake my head. "Nope. He's in a relationship."

"That doesn't mean you can't have a crush on him. Obviously, you shouldn't act on it, but, like... it's kind of cute."

"Well, he's straight and has a girlfriend so it doesn't really mean anything. Yes, he's adorable and funny and has a great personality but I'm fine with him being my friend and nothing more because he doesn't want that. If he were gay and single, I'd shoot my shot, but I'm not going to let myself fall for a straight guy."

Janelle makes a squeaky "hm" sound. "Fair point."

I get up and clear my plate. "I'm going to my dad's for dinner tonight and I might have a few drinks so I probably won't be home."

"Okay, just let me know if you need me to pick you up."

I thank her and around five thirty, I leave and take the train to Dad's house. He offered to pick me up, but I assured him that I'd be okay. Besides, public transport can be fun because I usually stay on campus and just jog everywhere, so it's a nice change of pace.

There's Chinese takeout all over the table when I get there and the table is already set.

Dad side hugs me awkwardly. He's never really figured out how to give a comforting hug but the awkward side hugs have really grown on me.

"Got your favorite," he says gruffly, sitting at the table. "Good job at your meet last night. I'm sorry that I had to leave so early, but I had to work this morning."

He works a really early job so he can't always stay out late, but he goes to all of my meets and stays as long as he can.

"It's alright, thanks for coming," I say, piling my plate with food. "Dad... I kind of need some advice."

He raises an eyebrow that implies that I should go on.

"It's about a guy that I like."

"Uh... I don't know how much help I'll be with relationship advice, Carter."

I give him a pleading look and he disappears to grab us each a beer before he sits down and tells me to talk.

"Well, there's this kid, he's eighteen and he has a girlfriend."

Dad gives me a confused look. "So... you like a guy who likes girls?"

"Well, I'd think he's straight if we didn't make out in a closet at a party."

"So... he cheated on his girlfriend?"

"No, they established that it was a game and they wouldn't hold it against each other."

Dad grunts. "Doesn't sound like they're serious about their relationship, then."

I stay silent and drink my beer, waiting to him to continue.

"Not many relationships that I know of... well, unless they're into that threesome thing that all you kids are doing... well, the two people involved aren't usually comfortable with their boyfriend or girlfriend playing those kinds of games."

Now that I think about it, Jeremy and Amanda were the only couple who played. The other couples in the room just hung out together on the couch.

"I don't think he's straight. Well, not completely. I've been hanging out with him and his girlfriend and they just seem like friends... they don't even kiss, dad!"

"Well, have you asked if he's gay?"

"He's really against the idea and his girlfriend said his family is super religious and everyone in his family except for him is really homophobic."

Dad grunts again. "So he may just be anxious to come out or accept himself... poor kid. I can't really give you advice because unfortunately our society is still very unsure about gay folks. I guess you could continue to be friends with him and try to get him to open his eyes a bit more and show him that people who like the same sex aren't choosing to be gay."

"Okay... thanks Dad."

Even though I don't have a clear game plan, it's nice to talk to an adult who I trust completely and who I know has my best interests in mind.

I don't end up going back home because we start watching old Adam Sandler movies and drinking enough that I don't think I would be able to walk to the train even if I tried.