Aoife is waiting by the pods as promised. Her frame does not cut as intimidating a figure as when she’s wearing her uniform. But even now, even in her short white sundress and laced sandals, her fiery hair in two braids tumbling loosly down each shoulder, there’s a distinct fierceness about her. And it’s obvious that anyone who picks a fight with her would be making a grave mistake.

She’s early. I suppose I am too. But she’s wringing out the ends of her dress while staring down her shoes, almost nervously. She looks ethereal like this, ordained with white fabric and gold accessories. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful, her light rivalling even the sun behind her.

“What did those shoes do to you? Do I have to whip them into shape?”

Aoife jolts up, only just realizing she’s not alone. Her face lights up the way it does only when she’s with me. It makes me greedy.

“Nadia!” she sighs in obvious relief. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to show.”

“And leave a beautiful girl alone on friday evening?” I ask as I walk closer, shoving my hands in the pockets of my black jeans. I hate jeans, the way they constrict my movements and suffocate my hips. But Aoife likes the way they look on me. I compromised by throwing on a gray flannel over my black shirt, opting for comfort for the better half of my body. “Now why on earth would I do that?”

Her pale cheeks flush a deep red, almost as red as her rosey lips. 

“Oh shush. Look who’s talking! You don’t even have to try to look like a model! I have to put on at least a pound of makeup to look like this. Without it I look-”

“Just as beautiful,” I interrupt, finishing the sentence for her. She looks taken aback, just for a moment, before she smiles warmly, looking away while she rocks on her heels in either nerves or glee.

“Why are we here?” I ask, looking toward the pods.

“Why ruin the surprise?” she asks with a warm look. 

“Should I be worried?”

“You’re always worried.”

“I suppose.”

Aoife climbs into the driver’s seat. I climb in after, sitting beside her.

“You know how to drive one of these things?” I ask, watching her turn the key in the ignition. The pod sputters to life. Victoriously, Aoife pumps a fist in the air.

“There are a lot of things I can do that you don’t know about.”

But the engine stalls when she tries to shift gears. And when she presses on the brakes, the vehicle groans, a sound like metal grinding on metal. We both wince, covering our ears.

“But - uh-,” she says sheepishly. “This might not be one of those things.”

“Oh my god,” I laugh. After fiddling with the gears, Aoife manages to get us in motion. The pod lurches forward, slamming into the pod it was parked behind.

“Aoife!”

“I got it, I got it!”

She shifts to reverse and tries to back up, but catches the curb. In an attempt to fix it, she lurches forward again and we slam back into the bumper of the first pod.

“No you don’t!” I shout.

Aoife laughs like a madwoman.

“Wait wait!” she says, laughing so hard her cheeks turn ruddy. “This time, I swear!”

We reverse again and smash into the pod behind us. Both of us go flying toward the dashboard, thrown like ragdolls against the front window.

Aoife is still laughing as she shifts back into drive.

“Ok, really! This time! I feel it in my bones!”

“Are you trying to kill us?”

“If anyone asks about the damage… raccoons.”

“Raccoons?” I sputter. “Aoife, there are cameras!”

She stares at me, her mouth dropped in a perfect O. Then we both erupt into hysterical laughter. “There goes my promotion!” she gasps between breaths. I’m so captivated by the sound of her laughter, and the way happy tears bubble at her lashes that it takes me a second to realize what she just said.

Finally, she maneuvers us out of the parking space and we go pummeling down the main dirt road. I'm tossed about in my seat, gripping the side of the pod for stability.

“Promotion?” I ask when we’ve both calmed down some.

“Oh yeah! So I got called to the Division Office yesterday during training by Lambert. You know him, right? Jericho Lambert?”

“Faintly.”

“Well anyways - I knew something was up because Ishna was glaring at me all morning. And I mean glaring.”

“He’s always glaring,” I chuckle.

“Yes but he knew something was up before I did, I swear. And when Jericho came by - god, I could feel the murderous intent just stewing around Ishna,” Aoife says, grinning madly. “I think he actually would have tried assassinating me if my students weren’t around,” she laughs.

“You would have won that battle.”

“Obviously.” We swerve violently around a bushel of trees, having veered slightly off course. “Anyways Lambert took me to see the higher ups and - guess what?”

“What?” I ask, smiling smally back, knowing where this is going.

“Guess!”

“Hm,” I hum, playing along. “Lambert made you do that karaoke number in front of the whole Division Board. The one you really suck at.”

“Hey, the audio was pitched weird last time!”

“And the time before that?”

“...that’s not important! Come on, be serious.”

“It’s kind hard to take you seriously when you’re driving like this-”

On cue, the bumper of the pod grazes a nearby tree, snapping the thin bark like floss. I can tell Aoife is getting antsy with her good news. She’s practically vibrating in her seat, more than she already was. I know she’s going to erupt in… three, two, one-

“They gave me a promotion!” She yells in excitement. “You’re now being driven by an official four striped Division Leader!”

God. It takes every fiber of self restraint in me not to grip her collar and kiss her on the lips right now. I steady my breathing, ignoring the tumbling of butterflies in my stomach. I sit on my hands for good measure.

“About damn time. You’ve deserved this promotion for… years now.”

Aoife’s smile burns bright. Her eyes shift toward mine, bubbling with joy, before refocusing on avoiding a collision course with the trees around us. Somehow, right at this moment, I couldn’t care less if we crashed. Nothing else matters right now but her.

“You’re only saying that to make me feel better.”

“No,” I say, with full confidence. I grip her hand on the wheel tight. It’s the truth. She needs to know that this is the truth. She’s perhaps the best instructor this place has ever seen. Worlds ahead of Ishna and the others. Lightyears even.

I wonder if that was too forward. Because Aoife turns toward me again, her eyes wide and shimmering. We lock eyes. Her green irises are by far the most beautiful color I’ve ever seen. She seems to forget all about the pod and the forest and all of it. All of it except for me.

“Nadia-”

“The road!” I yell, reaching over to yank the wheel right just in time to avoid a huge boulder. Whatever she was going to say dies on her tongue as she shifts into park.

“Oh, we’re here!”

She hops down from the pod with the keys still in the ignition. I sigh, pulling out the keys before hopping down after her. It takes me a minute, but I recognize it, this boulder. It’s a gate.

“What are we doing here?”

“You trust me, right?”

“Lately I’ve been questioning if I should-”

“Come on!”

Aoife takes my hand in hers and yanks me toward the rock. Her heat spreads up my wrist, burning all the way up my arm. 

The rune she draws on the surface turns golden before a sudden door appears. She sneaks a glance at the look on my face.

“What?” I ask. She smiles. Then pulls the door open.

Aoife tugs me into the dark room. I would feel uneasy with anyone else here, but not her. Never her. She squeezes my hand tight. “I know what you’re going to say when you see. But… don’t?”

And then we walk through.

The first thing I notice is the sun setting all around us, lighting the city skyline on fire. It’s later in the evening in the mortal world.

We walked out onto a tall rooftop in the middle of New York City. But, not just any rooftop. The rooftop of my old apartment building.

Something drops in my stomach and it feels like I’m freefalling when I whip my head around to look at her, at Aoife. Something presses against my lungs like a sudden futile sense of doom. I recoil, taking a step back. But there is no door behind me anymore. Only a brick wall. My hands tremble by my sides as I’m pressed against brick. I suddenly cannot breathe.

How did she find out? How? I was sure to erase everything about this place, about myself. There’s no way this is a coincidence. This… this is a punishment. A divine punishment. It has to be. Aoife’s face falls when she looks at me, at the unbridled terror in my expression. I’ve never shown such weakness in front of her, not like this.

“Nadia, are you ok?”

“Y-You - how? How?”

She bites at her lip and slowly, so slowly, walks over to me with her hands open and outstretched, to prove this isn’t some kind of unusual torture.

When I don’t run from her, she gently brushes her fingers on my hand, holding it with such tenderness that I forget myself.

“Aoife-” I start, pained that she has to see me like this.

“Look at them, all of those people down there. Look. Isn’t it wonderful? Aren’t they beautiful?”

I’ve never understood Aoife’s fascination and love for the mortals and their world. I never could.

I shake my head. Gasp for breath.

“Vile. They’re vile.”

She takes my other hand too, forcing me to look at her.

“You lived here once, Nadia. I love it because, for so long, this was your home. Don’t you understand?”

I don’t. I don’t think I could ever understand.

“No, they’re weak. They’re all weak, pathetic creatures.”

I expect pity in her eyes. I’m met only with firmness.

“No, Nadia. They’re strong. They’re so strong. Like you, all these people had to make something of themselves, for themselves.”

“You don’t know what they did to me. You don’t know what they would do to any of us if they find out.”

“I know that they hurt you, my councilman. I know that you suffered. But not all of them were responsible.”

“You’re asking me to forgive them?” I sputter. “To forgive the monsters that took my childhood from me?”

“Never!” She shouts, gripping my face with her hands tight, tilting my head down so our foreheads are touching. “I would never, Nadia. They deserve nothing from you. Do you understand me? Nothing but hell. But all those people down there, they did not have a part to play in that. I know of your hatred of them, of their weakness and ignorance. But, that hatred will only poison you. 

“Somewhere there is a mother kissing her daughter goodnight. There is a grandfather feeding the pigeons, a child laughing for the first time. All these people are only trying to live, and live fully, live longer. Just like us. Just like you. There is so much beauty here, in this world.”

“It is a beauty I’ve never known,” I say, my voice trembling. There’s something about this place that makes me feel like a small girl again, hiding from my mother up here by the fire escape. I’ve never forgotten.

“I know,” she says, her voice laced with hurt. “But it’s not too late for you, Nat.”

But it is.

I don’t tell her, though. I can’t, not when she’s looking at me with so much hope. It would break her heart if I told her the whole truth. How there is some pain that you can never come back from.