Carter's POV:

Dad absolutely loves the kitten that Jeremy and I got him, adoringly naming the tiny kitten Bean. It's kind of a dorky name, but I think it's funny so I have no complaints.

My dad took Jeremy under his wing a week ago when we brought him Bean, and Dad told my friend that he always has a place to stay with us. He figured out who Jeremy was based on what I told him before, and he felt bad when Jeremy mentioned he isn't speaking with his parents at the moment.

Christmas is coming up, and Dad texted me and told me I should invite Jeremy to spend Christmas Eve with him and I. The two of us only celebrate Christmas Eve together because on Christmas Day, I usually go to breakfast with Janelle and whoever else of our common friends want to join.

This year, though, Dad has branched out little and invited our sweet, older neighbors over and a couple of his buddies from work.

Jeremy has agreed to coming this year, since his sister and her boyfriend spend Christmas with Jeremy's family. He's decided not to go back to his parent's house for the holiday, which I am really happy about.

The last thing he needs is for his horrible parents to scold and shame him on a holiday about spending time with family. My dad and I usually don't go to church on Christmas Eve, since it's crowded and Dad hates crowds, so Jeremy will get a break from that as well.

It'll be Jeremy's first year not going to church on Christmas Eve.

I'm currently finishing up swim practice, changing in the locker rooms out of my swim speedo and showering in one of the private showers. It was an optional practice today, but I'm glad I went; it's nice to workout when I have the chance, especially in the pool.

When I'm finished, I leave with my towel wrapped around my waist to get to my locker. The door to the locker room opens and Akira walks in, blushing when he sees me.

"Oh, I didn't know the swimmers were in today," he says, not averting his eyes from my exposed stomach.

"Practice was optional. We're done in there," I tell him, and a month ago I would have invited him over to my place, but now the only one on my mind is Jeremy. "How have you been?"

Akira smirks. "I'm meeting that hot guy who's always here. The one who works at the school and here at the pool?"

"The janitor?" I ask and Akira nods, biting his lower lip. "The one who's, like, forty?!"

"Let me have my daddy issues in peace."

I chuckle, ruffling his hair as I grab my clothes. "Have fun, use protection," I say, and Akira gives me a thumbs-up.

"Will do!" Akira exclaims, checking how he looks in the mirror. "Hey, I hear you've been running around with some kid on campus. Potential boyfriend?"

I shrug. "I'm not sure, he's had some bad experiences that aren't really mine to talk about. He seems to like me, though, so maybe."

"I've seen him and he's pretty cute. Better ask him out before someone else snatched him up."

"That'll lose you a fuck buddy."

Akira rolls his eyes, brushing his bangs out of his face. "Why do you think I'm meeting the janitor? Besides, threesomes are fun... if the cutie is in."

I laugh, changing in front of Akira without shame because he's seen it all before. When I'm fully changed, I bid him goodbye and tell him to call me if he needs anything. I don't answer his threesome inquiry because I'm ninety nine percent sure that Jeremy is more worried about being shamed for premarital sex than he is about actually having sex with someone.

Maybe I'll get to discover that someday... I hope I do, because I'm slowly falling for Jeremy and I am pretty sure he feels the same.

At least, I hope he does.

•••

"You're sure it's not intrusive if I show up?" Jeremy asks me for probably the hundredth time over the phone, anxiety still riddling his tone.

It's sad that he always feels like a burden, especially since I love having him around. It's fun to be around your crush, but it'd be better if I had the balls to ask him out.

"I'm sure!" I say, trying to convey as much comfort as possible. "Vincent can drop you off here, right?"

"Yeah, he said he will on the way to my parent's house," he replies, and his voice wavers a bit before regaining some confidence. "I made a charcuterie board."

I whoop into the phone. "Fuck yeah, adult lunchables!"

"You're such a child." He's laughing, which is a beautiful sound.

I love how happy he gets when we talk on the phone, which is pretty much whenever we're not hanging out. My heart always races when I see he's calling me or when I call him, and when his excited tone comes from the other end of the line, it makes all the anxiety worth it.

"Yeah, and I need a babysitter. Wanna make some cash?"

"Ugh, no, I don't think you can afford me." There's some shuffling over the phone and Jeremy's voice comes back all chirpy. "I'm on my way!"

With that, he abruptly hangs up, probably to hide our conversation from Vincent or at least keep him from eavesdropping. According to Jeremy, Vincent is nosy and likes to listen in on our phone calls because he ships us; not that Jeremy openly agreed; his voice was a bit shaky when he told me and I'm not sure if it was irritation or nervousness.

True to his word, Jeremy knocks on my door ten minutes later and waves to Vincent and his older sister, Jackie. They both wave back, and even from a distance, I can see the fondness and pride in his sister's eyes.

It's a shame she leans on her parents for their monetary support because I can tell she'd rather be at a small party with her friends and boyfriend. Even though I don't know her well, I know she's the only one of Jeremy's siblings that supports him. His younger sister might, but I think Jeremy's too nervous to ask.

Fuck the rest of that family.

"My dad will pick us up in twenty minutes or so, and he offered to drop us off, but if we drink we can just spend the night there and come back tomorrow morning."

"I can't drink," Jeremy says, setting down his pretty and very well put together charcuterie board on the counter and rubbing his arms to bring some heat to himself.

It's been really cold out, so I grab another one of my jackets and toss it to Jeremy. He sets his backpack down on the kitchen chair because he's going to be spending the night at my house.

"No one is going to stop you from having a beer, Jer," I tell him as he puts on my jacket and sighs in relief. "It's just you, me, my dad, and he did say he invited a couple of his coworkers and neighbors over. All relaxed people who are friendly and won't judge you for having a drink. You're an adult."

He smiles. "Thanks, Carter," he says in the soft voice he gets when he's shy or nervous.

"Yeah, and obviously there are going to be sodas and other non alcoholic drinks if you don't feel comfortable drinking in a sort of unfamiliar place."

Jeremy's smile doesn't widen, but his blush deepens, as it often does when he feels like he's being taken care of and is a little embarrassed by it.

It's cute.

"Why don't you and your dad spend Christmas Day together?" Jeremy asks as we wait for him.

My bag of snacks is in my lap and I awkwardly readjust it before replying. "Well... my mom loved Christmas and presents on Christmas Day, so it was pretty hard on my dad and I. He usually meets up with his friends on the actual day and plays games with them and I spend time with Janelle. When I was younger we'd just go see a movie or something and not really focus on Christmas, but now we can do our own thing. It's just a bit easier."

"I'm really sorry she died, Carter." His tone is so sincere that I feel tears spring to my eyes.

I force a smile that he can see right through. "It's alright. I don't really believe in God all that much, but I'm sure that whatever the afterlife is... she's there watching over my dad and I."

Jeremy rapidly makes his way over to slide into my chair and hug me. "You're really strong."

"I know, I'm built as fuck."

He scoffs. "I was going for an emotional connection, but alright, you cocky asshole."

I gasp loudly, making him give me a strange look. "You just said 'asshole.'"

"...so?"

"You've never sworn in front of me!"

"Well... I'm kind of tired of being the guy with the stick up my ass."

I could stick something up your ass...

Fuck, get your mind out of the gutter, you're going to scare him off!

Thankfully, my dad texts me and we leave the house to go to his little party. Dad is super excited, but I can only tell because he keeps smiling to himself. He's not a man of many words, though, so he's still quiet and we listen to gentle music while we drive to my house.

It's a comfortable silence, and I keep looking in the rear view mirror to see how relaxed Jeremy is. When he's calm and smiling to himself... it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

When we get to the house, Dad, Jeremy and I work together to set up the food and the few guests that he invited all show up at six on the dot. Our neighbors, an older couple, bring a dessert tray and my dad's work friends bring chips, crackers, and a cooler of drinks.

Dad made a bunch of hot appetizers and everyone is milling around, talking while we eat snacks.

Bean, Dad's kitten, keeps walking around, rubbing up against anyone who will give him attention until he finds Dad and hops in his lap.

Dad's coworkers remember me because they've worked together forever and they've babysat me from time to time. They're nice guys and have been like uncles to me. For being big trucker-type guys, they've also been super cool about my sexuality and have supported me every step the of the way.

"Hey, Carter!" Nathan, one of Dad's friends, calls to me as I grab myself a beer and a Coke for Jeremy. "Come here, kid."

I walk over, Jeremy trailing behind me.

"How're you doing, kid?" he asks as I sit down, Jeremy shyly sitting beside me. "And who's this?"

"I'm alright, just busy," I say, opening my drink. "This is my friend, Jeremy."

Nathan raises an eyebrow. "Friend? Or friend?"

"Friend," I say as Jeremy blushes beside me. "Be nice to my friend, I don't have enough of them for you to chase him off."

Nathan laughs loudly. "Alright, kid, whatever you say," he says, and Jeremy's face is a permanent shade of red as he puts his soda down.

"I'm going to grab a beer," he announces, leaving my side.

In hindsight, I guess I should have stopped him, as it only takes an hour before he's absolutely trashed and is staring off into space while clinging to my arm. I'm pretty sure it has to do with his nervousness, but thankfully people start to leave soon enough.

"Bean is so fucking cute," Jeremy coos, holding Bean in his arms and petting the kitten.

Dad clears paper plates and I step into help, keeping an eye on my friend.

"How much did that kid drink?" Dad mumbles to me, looking a bit worried.

"I'm not sure... a lot. I think he was nervous because he kept wincing when he was drinking so I'm pretty sure he didn't enjoy it."

Dad frowns. "Poor kid. I'll leave some Advil in your old room. You should keep that kid with you tonight."

"Thanks, Dad. He's probably going to puke pretty soon because I don't think he ate much."

"Yeah... take care of him. He's a good kid."

I smile softly as Jeremy drunkenly smiles and talks to Bean in a baby voice. "Yeah. He's certainly something special."

"What's the phrase?" Dad asks himself, his eyebrows furrowed. "Oh! I think you should shoot your shot. That's what the saying is, right?"

My face burns red. "Dad, please never say that again," I beg, finishing what I was cleaning before I leave him and head to the living room. "Jer, it's time for bed."

"But Bean needs me," he whines.

I take Bean from him and set him on the ground. "He'll go cuddle with my dad. Come on, you need to sleep."

He groans and I only have a few seconds to recognize what's going on and rush him to the bathroom and pat his back as he throws up.

"At least you didn't puke on Bean," I point out as he cries and grabs his stomach. "Get it all up."

Jeremy wipes his eyes and I grab him a washcloth to wipe his mouth.

"I don't want your dad to hate me for throwing up in his toilet!" he sobs.

I sit beside him. "My dad won't hate you. He's worried about you because he cares about you."

"You care about me, too, right?"

"Of course I do," I say, rubbing his back as he gags again. "You're one of my favorite people."

Jeremy smiles despite his crying. "I think I really like you," he whispers, before his smile drops and he gags and throws up a bit of bile. "I really don't like this."

"That's what happens when you drink half your body weight in alcohol. And haven't drank before."

He frowns. "I'm stupid."

"No you're not."

"Yes. I let my parents walk all over me and I believed stupid Father Peter and I really like you..." He hiccups. "But I'm scared I'll still go to Hell. Even though that's stupid."

He wipes his face and leans against me.

"It's not stupid. You have been raised in the church community so it's going to take time to unlearn everything you were brought up with," I assure him, kissing his forehead tenderly. "And I really like you, too."

His smile lights up the room, and he continues to smile as I lead him to the bathroom and give him a clean, spare toothbrush and help him change into some of my old pajamas.

Jeremy is clingy when I lay him down on the bed and he's basically on me when I get into bed.

"If I'm annoying I can sleep on the floor," he whispers, his breath minty from the toothpaste. "I like hardwood floor. It's harder to get covered in hair like carpet."

"Jer, you don't have to sleep on the ground," I whisper, wrapping my arms around him after I've turned off the light. "Just go to sleep, alright?"

He hums. "Goodnight. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Jer."