Summer at 21
“How’s your manuscript doing?” Kaye asks as we eat dinner after that awkward moment in the bedroom earlier.
“Ah, I already finished the chapters that need to be submitted and even made a few in advance.” I say proudly and spoon a mouthful of his gnocchi skillet. “I’m going to submit them including the added chapters in compensation to being late.”
“Congratulations.” Kaye smiles indulgently and reaches up to wipe the sauce that drips to my chin then licks it from his thumb.
I blush in embarrassment, averting my eyes and stare at my plate instead. Ah, I don’t know what to do with this new Kaye. First he was mean and uncaring about me when he thought I was a stinking, grumpy old man.
Yet, now that he found out I’m his one-night stand partner in the past, he acts differently. He’s gentle, caring and… almost like loving if I may say so myself. It’s as if we’re lovers. And he always looks at me with desirous gaze. It’s both unnerving and exciting.
“Uh, I’m going to Shelton Park tomorrow.” I tell him to break the unsettling silence between us. “My assistant’s going to meet me there to pick up the drafts. So, um… you don’t have to prepare my lunch here coz I’m going to eat at your food truck tomorrow.”
“Hmm,”
I raise my head and look at Kaye. What kind of response is that? But his intense gaze makes me agitated that I look at my plate once again. Why is Kaye frowning? As if he doesn’t like the idea of me coming to his food truck.
No, wait. Let’s not be too self-conscious. Maybe he’s just thinking of something else. That’s right. Maybe he’s actually thinking of Edna that’s currently confined in the hospital. My personal assistant has informed me about what happened with the other food truck.
I also found out that Edna needs surgery but it keeps being delayed because of lack of funding. I don’t know what’ll Kaye say but I’ve already paid her bills including the assistant’s by the name of Steve Warren. I made sure to keep my identity secret though.
However, if Kaye insists on knowing, maybe that’ll be the time to tell him the truth of my identity. But it’ll also be my time to say goodbye to him once again. Because if my stalker winds up knowing about my affair with Kaye, I know he won’t take it sitting down.
Heck, I bet he might even want Kaye for himself. I would hate to separate from Kaye but I also don’t want him to get involved with my issues. I look at him again, with longing this time and smile bitterly. His frown deepens and reaches to caress my cheek.
“What’s the matter?” He asks but his phone suddenly goes off. “Sorry, let me take that.”
He stands up, kisses my head before picking up his phone from the coffee table. I happen to glance at it. The name Rosy registers on the screen and my heart suddenly thumps in my chest. Yes, that’s right. How can I forget someone like that exists in Kaye’s life?
“Hello, sweetheart, how are you?” Kaye answers with a sweet smile on his lips and my heart feels like it’s being squeezed from inside. “Yes, I’m doing great though I’m missing you so much.”
Kaye enters his bedroom and continues chatting with whoever’s in the other line. As much as I want to keep my composure, my lips tremble and I choke on a sob. What the… We’re not dating. We’re not even friends to the very least. Then why am I feeling so miserable?
“Unh…” I clench my shirt above my heart and take few deep breaths to calm myself. “It’s alright. It’s going to be alright.” I tell myself consolingly. “It’s just a matter of time until I say my goodbyes to him anyway, so it doesn’t really matter whether he has someone he loves. We can never be together anyway so it’s alright.”
“Hey, are you alright?” Kaye suddenly appears at my side, jolting me on my seat.
“O-of course, I am.” I take a gulp of water, smile up to him and carry my plate to the sink. “Excuse me.”
“Cheri?” Kaye calls out but I can’t look at him again, afraid I’d give myself away so I only grunt an answer. “I have a guest tomorrow so—”
“Ah, really?” I ask feigning nonchalance. “I get it, don’t worry. Uh, let me just finish a few more chapters then,” I quickly return to my laptop and start typing nonsensical words even though my mind’s not into it.
I can feel Kaye’s gaze on me as if trying to read my actions but he doesn’t seem to realize it. I really hope he won’t. It’ll be embarrassing if he discovers I’m jealous and feeling hurt when we don’t have anything concrete between us.
“Alright,” he finally says and starts cleaning up the table.
It doesn’t take long for me to get immersed into my story once again. This chapter becomes too gory, reflecting how mess up my heart’s current condition. It’s not even a season finale but with the actions and thrill I put into it, it seems like one.
My stories have always had a touch of my real life situation that’s why people can easily relate to it. After all, life’s indeed more bizarre than fiction and it’s proven true in my case. It’s just that my stories have no happy ending. It starts miserably, always with a sad pinnacle and ends in bleak.
“Hey.” Kaye’s voice snaps me back to reality and only then I realize that he’s hunching behind me once again. “I’ll go ahead first. Don’t strain yourself and come to bed soon, ok?”
“Y-yeah,” I’m surprised seeing the time at the corner of my screen, realizing I’ve been working for four hours straight.
“Alright,” He kisses me on the lips then the top of my head before finally standing up. “Goodnight.”
“Night,” I mumble and watch as he enters the bedroom.
As soon as the door shuts, I slump over the table and groan inwardly. Crap! Don’t be so caring towards me, Kaye. Don’t act as if you’re my lover. Don’t keep my hopes up. Because my heart can’t take it if I’ll fall for you even harder. If I do, it’ll be painful to say goodbye to you one day.
I can’t sleep so I spend the entire night working on my manuscript until I, once again, end up sleeping sprawled over the table. Yet, when I wake up the following day, I’m already on Kaye’s bed.
I take a shower and dress up before taking a quick breakfast prepared by Kaye at the kitchen table. Although I’ve told him not to prepare me my lunch, he still set aside another tray that’s labeled “For Lunch”.
Since I still have time until noon to meet with my assistant, I’m gonna go make some quick review of the manuscripts I’ve finished. Taking the coffee with me at the living room, I sit on the floor once again.
Now that I’m reviewing it, the scenes are really gruesome. Those with faint of hearts sure can’t tolerate this. Ah, whatever. No one can blame me if I pour my real life’s frustration into my work. After all, I started writing just so I can have an outlet to my feelings and words that I’m unable to express.
I sigh and lean back on the couch. I won’t be back here tonight because Kaye has his guest. I should’ve asked him until when his girlfriend will stay. Ah, here’s the pain once again. I take a deep breath and clear my mind. I shouldn’t think of those things.
I stand up and clear the table of my belongings before heading towards the door. Taking one last scan of the apartment, I open the door with a bitter smile and leave. Before going to the park, I drop by my own place to change into my own clothes.
After shaving my beard, I become conscious of myself once again. I really can’t get used to people’s stares as though I’m such a bizarre creature. I can’t help it if I was born with a girl’s face and even given a girly name.
It’s also because of these reasons why I grew my beard. I became too insecure with my own appearance when it’s become magnet to perverts, and they seem to be everywhere. There are a lot of beautiful people anywhere but why do I feel like I’m the only one being preyed on. It’s very frustrating.
Despite knowing that Kaye’s going to meet with his girlfriend, I’m still excited to get a glimpse of him today that there’s an extra hop to my steps as I stagger towards his food truck. Luckily I’m wearing graded sunglasses to cover up my face coz I’ve started turning heads once again.
As though we have telepathic connection, Kaye meets my eyes even if I’m still one street away. He waves at me and smiles. I blush and suddenly become conscious that I can’t wave back. The traffic light turns red and people starts crossing the street.
I follow the crowd crossing the pedestrian while staring at Kaye by the distance. However, something catches my eye that makes me stop from moving. Is that—oh, my God! It is him! What's he doing here? Has he found me already?
I turn around and hide behind concrete column and peek once again. He hasn’t found me, yet. But—where’s he heading to? Oh, God. No, he’s found Kaye? Why’s he heading to Kaye’s food truck?
I look at Kaye once again. I’m still a little far from the truck but I can somehow read the confusion on his expression. His eyes are darting from left to right, probably checking where I’ve gone. But his gaze soon turns towards the man standing just below his truck.
I swallow and hide once again. What do I do? Why’s that person in the city? Why's Clark here? Why did he approach Kaye? Did he already know I’m living with Kaye? No, it can’t be. I have a different name now and Kaye doesn’t know who I am.
I take a peek once again and notice my assistant’s arrival and is now waiting on one of the tables. His suit was obviously well pressed and his shoes are polished indicating his obvious excitement and elation meeting me today. I clutch my hair in panic. Crap! Crap!
I pull my phone out and dial my assistant’s number, asking him to meet me at a different place. Crap! I should move it or Clark’s going to find me sooner or later. But—I look back again and frown. How about Kaye?
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