I stepped inside the place and took a quick look around. It was a nice, cozy pub lit only by a few oil lamps and candles. A bard was playing a lovely melody on his mandolin. I approached the counter and sat on an empty wine barrel that doubled as a stool. There, I met the woman who I assumed was the titular Irene. She had a deadpan look on her face as she wiped the bottom of a beer glass with a crusty tissue.

“Welcome, weary traveler,” she said, with a tone of voice akin to that of an underpaid actor rehearsing their lines for the hundredth time. “I'll fix you a beer in a moment.”

“I don’t think I’m old enough to drink,” I replied.

“Hey, I won’t tell if you won’t tell.”

“I’m good,” I replied, “I just needed to rest for a while.”

“Suit yourself.”

She then spitted inside the glass and kept wiping.

“So,” she said, “What brings a girl like you around here at this time of night?”

“I’m searching for a treasure,” I replied. “One of immeasurable worth.”

“That so?”

I laid my back on the counter and took another look at the place. There weren’t many tables, and only two of them were occupied: one by a snake lady with red hair, purple clothes and a pair of glowing yellow eyes that stared at me menacingly, and one by a robust-looking man whose skin was incredibly pale. He was wearing a cloak with the hood on, so I couldn’t get a good look at his face, but it seemed he had pointy ears and a pair of horns poking out of the cloth around his head.

“Who's the gentleman with the hood?” I asked the innkeeper.

“Ah. A stranger, much like yourself,” she replied. “He comes here often, but very little is known about him. He just stares silently at his drink and hardly ever utters a word to anyone. Rumor has it, he’s some sort of a… hunter.”

“What’s he hunting?”

“Wouldn’t know. Wouldn't wanna know either.”

Sounds ominous enough. But it only served to raise more questions, really. What kind of hunter doesn’t carry at least a bow and some arrows on him?

Anyway. While I was chatting with the bartender, the snake lady stood up and started walking in my direction. The wooden floor of the inn creaked noisily under her long leather boots.

“Hello there,” she said, taking a seat next to me. She carried herself in an elegant, charming manner, which I’m sure in no way was a means to hide a hidden agenda. “Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all, miss!” I replied.

“Splendid. What’s your name, little one?”

“They call me Rags. Pleasure to meet ya.”

“Likewise. So… I don’t mean to pry, but I was sitting at that table over there and couldn’t help but to overhear your conversation. You mentioned a treasure, correct?”

“That’s right.”

“Sounds intriguing! Where is it?”

“Heh. Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Why, yes. As a matter of fact, I would. Please, do satiate my curiosity.”

“Nuh-uh. If I told you where it is, you might go after it too. I’m not an idiot!"

The snake lady threw her head back in laughter. "Certainly you’re not,” she said. “Perhaps I haven’t explained myself properly. You see, I am a woman of science. An archaeologist of sorts."

"An archaeologist, huh?"

"Yup!"

"Yeah, I don’t buy it."

"It’s true! And, as such, I find interest in relics, idols, talismans… and, yes, sometimes treasures too. I have to make sure they don’t end up in the wrong hands, y’know. It’s my responsibility."

"Well, I’m sure there’s plenty of riches out there waiting to be found by a scholar such as yourself. This one, I already called dibs on."

As she failed to get the answer she was hoping for, I noticed she rapidly started to lose her temper. "What's a peasant girl like you even doing on a quest for treasure anyway? You don't strike me as the adventurer type."

"That's me, I guess. I'm full of surprises."

"You really aren't gonna spill the beans, are you?"

"I really can't. Sorry!"

All of a sudden, the expression on her face changed completely. She drew her sword and flung it spinning in the air. As it fell back down, she caught the tip of the blade using only her index finger, where it held still without wavering an inch. An impressive display, I must admit.

"Listen, simpleton," she said. "It's obvious to me you're as clueless as they come, so lemme be clear: I'm not the kind of person you'd want to cross. If you value your sad, little life, you better start –…"

"That's enough, DeNeedle!" the man in the hood intervened. "Leave the girl alone!"

The lady turned her head to him. The moment she heard the sound of his raspy voice, were it out of respect, fear, or something else entirely, her attitude changed dramatically.

“Easy,” she replied. “We’re just chit-chatting ‘ere. Nothing to get all worked up about.”

“What she’s after and why she’s after it is of no concern to you. Go back to your table and keep chugging beer, will ya?”

The snake lady gave the man a defiant look. I thought I was about to witness the beginning of fight. Instead, she let out a disdainful laugh, sheathed her sword and sat back on her table.

Once things settled down, the innkeeper leaned in closer to me. As distant and apathetic as she seemed at first, she was worried enough about me to offer some words of comfort after that whole ordeal. Which makes sense, I suppose. You don't want your potential clients getting scared off by abrasive serpent creatures. "You look like you could use some good night's sleep," she said. "How about renting a room?"

"I'd love to, but I seriously doubt I can afford it," I replied.

"Tell you what. You can stay the night if you promise you'll get me back after you find that treasure of yours. Deal?"

"I'm afraid it's not that kind of treasure. Even if I do end up finding it, I'll still be every bit as penniless as before."

"Oh. I See."

"I can do the dishes, though."

"The room is yours."

* * *

I think I hadn’t slept so well since that time I accidentally drank a whole bottle of Mr. Otis’ apple schnapps. The bed was incredibly soft and there were barely any bugs in it. Sure beats sleeping on a haystack or whatever I was going to do had I not found this lovely place. My only complaint is that I seriously think that not calling the place “Ire-inn’s” was a huge missed opportunity.

But as soft and inviting as that bed was, there was no time to squander. I woke up that morning and left, ready to continue my journey.

As I was walking down the dirt road, I noticed some suspicious movements in the bushes nearby, along with the snake woman's bright, yellow eyes barely disguised behind the leaves. It seemed her plan was to ambush me, but clumsily came out of hiding as soon as she realized her cover was blown.

“Why, hello there, adventurer girl!” she said, as she jumped out of the bushes.

“Hello again, miss snake lady,” I said.

“It’s duchess DeNeedle for you. Dimwit.”

“My bad. Can I help you with something?”

“Indeed you can. You’re gonna take me where that treasure is. As in, right now.”

“Ugh, this again? Sorry, my answer is still no.”

“I wasn’t asking. You either take me there or get ready to die in excruciating agony.”

“You’re being a bit overly dramatic about this, don’t you think?”

“Dying in agony it is, then.”

Suddenly, the duchess pulled out a bottle of pure alcohol and removed the cork with her teeth, which she then spitted out in anger. Then, she downed its whole content before my eyes in a matter of seconds. The term “heavy drinking” must have been created specifically for this woman. Not content with that, she took a match from one of her pockets and lit it by sliding it across her slimy scales.

“Let’s see how much heat you can take before your tongue starts to loosen up!” she said.

“You’d be surprised! Summers in Brümsgundy can be quite brutal.”

Then, the snake lady swallowed the lit match and spitted a huge burst of fire in my direction. Just a moment before I was burnt to a crisp, I was moved out of the way by some benevolent passer-by. I turned my head to look at my savior: it was the hooded stranger from the inn again.

The man took off his hood, revealing his face. He had a pair of small, glowing green eyes, sharp fangs and two flapping bat wings on his back. He was bald as a melon and his whole body was made of pure stone, which is why he seemed so pale at first glance.

“Are you my guardian angel?” I asked him.

“...What? 'Course not,” he said. “The name’s Lucas. I’m a gargoyle. I was sculpted by Mr. Otis, your mentor. He has bestowed a task upon me, which is to protect you at all costs during your travel.”

The gargoyle then tore his shirt apart. I don't know why he did that, but my lord, was he muscular. That wasn't even the weirdest part; I thought my eyes were deceiving me, but I'd be darned if he didn’t start charging up electricity in his hands!

“I obtained the power of lightning after all those stormy nights I had to brave through back when I lived atop a gothic cathedral,” he said.

“Nice,” I replied. “I love me a well thought-out magic system.”

He aimed his fingertips at the duchess and cast a roaring thunder bolt. The duchess’ body was sent flying and landed on the grass a good distance away. I could see smoke emanating from her opened mouth and little blue sparks coming out of her twitching, charred limbs as she laid still on the ground.

“Holy cow!” I shouted. “You sure are a force to be reckoned with, sir.”

“I’ve been following this crook for some time now,” he said. “Her sole purpose is to pillage and plunder the riches of this world. She had to be stopped.”

I thought the battle was over then and there, but, much to my surprise, the duchess quickly got back up on her feet and shrugged the attack off like it was nothing.

“I’m not dead just yet, you tasteless decour!” she said. “And spare me the lecture, I went broke because of this blasted crisis! What was I supposed to do? Wave my dignity goodbye and become a peasant like that brainlet over there? I have a lifestyle to maintain.”

The duchess downed another bottle as the gargoyle started readying his next attack. I couldn't let their forces clash; if they did, the resulting explosion would surely kill all three of us! I had to step in, but how? How could a weakling like me ever stand between these two raging beasts? Wait… That's it!

I didn’t even think about it. It’s almost as if my body was moving on its own, based on instict alone. I swiftly pulled out my chisel and ran toward the two adversaries. Then, standing between them, I held it high in the air as they unleashed their attacks on each other. The gargoyle’s lightning bolt and the snake lady’s fireburst struck the rusty metal blade at the same time and were soon absorbed by it. It worked! Somehow, both the power of fire and lightning were embedded in my chisel, allowing me to harness them at will with just a flick of my wrist!

“Great job, Rags!” Lucas said. “Strike her down, now!”

I waved my chisel at her and a huge mass of elemental energy came bursting out of it. Last thing I saw was the terrified expression on the snake lady’s face before I was blinded by the blast caused by the attack, as both Lucas and I were impelled backward by its shock wave.

The dense cloud of smoke dissipated a while after. The duchess was nowhere to be seen. “She’s escaped!” I said.

“Don’t worry about her,” said Lucas. “She won’t bother you again.”

Yeah, he was probably right. I mean, she either fled and learned her lesson or got blown to sub-atomic smithereens as a direct result of my intervention. I decided to assume it was the former for the sake of my own mental well-being.

"Quick," he added. "You must give the chisel to me so I can seal its power."

Before handing the weapon over to him, I couldn't help but to stare at it for a moment. Such raw, pulsating force. It was… alluring.

"Rags?" he insisted.

I mean, sure, I could use this chisel to take over the world and become a fearsome ruler... Huh. ‘Rags the Heartless’. Wait, better yet, ‘Rags the Conqueror’. Gotta admit, it had a nice ring to it…

"Rags!"

But! It'd be wrong and all that. Maybe next time.

I passed the chisel to Lucas. After twirling his fingers and reciting some strange mumbo-jumbo, it magically turned into a lame, regular chisel again. “Here you go,” he said, handing it back. “Oh, before I forget — your mentor sends you this as well.” He then dropped on my palms a small bag containing a generous amount of coins. My eyes sparkled like a pair of diamonds as they glanced at the golden splendor, enamored by its beauty.

"Thank you!” I said. “I’d love to stay here and chat s'more, but I really should get going now.”

"One more moment, if you please," said Lucas. "Just out of curiosity, what is it you're looking for exactly? I know many of this world’s secrets, but I've never heard of a treasure hidden in the city of Sköllhyala."

"Well, it's not really hidden. Anyone can grab it, for the right price. That's why I'm in such a hurry!"

"A treasure that's in plain sight and one must pay to obtain it… I suppose there are still some mysteries I'm yet to comprehend."

"Gotta go. Hope we meet again some time!"

"Likewise, young Rags. May the Contrapposto guide you on your journey."