TW: Suppression of emotions & mentions of suicide  

    He could only make out the first few lines in the dim lighting, but it was enough to send him flying back into the living room. 

    "to whoever finds this, 

it's Adrienne... i need help." 

 - - - - - - - - - - 

    Miko and Bella had been looking at what little evidence they had to try to figure out where Renne could be when the boy had bolted into the room and tumbled into his chair, completely forgetting that he had offered to sit in the unbalanced seat. He toppled over, hitting his arm on the corner of the table. But he didn't care. He shot back up and retook his seat, pretending that he didn't almost fall face first into a hard, wooden dining table. Fumiko looked startled while Arabella hadn't flinched. She was just watching the boy brush off his baggy joggers and rub his arm where he had hit it. Her gaze had been trained on his arm, which had a small gash on it, when she had noticed the scrap of paper in his hand. Her heart stopped. Was it a clue? 

    Miko, on the other hand, did flinch. She tensed up at the crash and shot up to make sure he was ok as soon as he lost his balance. She hurried over to inspect his arm, not at all acknowledging the note concealed in his clenched fist. He gently brushed her off and motioned for her to sit down, and that he was fine. She obliged, squeezing his shoulder in a maternal manner before hurrying back to her seat. 

    This was when he showed them the note. It was written in Adrienne's distinctive handwriting, the letters trying to be uniform but no two could look identical, no matter how hard she tried. It was all in brown, so she had probably used the fountain pen Irene had given her for Christmas. She had never used capital letters, unless she was writing names. This letter was no different.  

    Fumiko gingerly took it from his hands, and he let her. She started reading aloud, 

  "to whoever finds this,  

it's Adrienne... i need help. i had to run away and i'm so sorry... but they forced me to. if i didn't then they would've killed me. they would've killed Bella... and ma... so i came here to hide away hoping Irene or Kalon would find me..." she paused to take a breath, "but they were too late. i have to be quick. they found me. please can someone tell Kalon i forgive him... i was never angry in the first place... i was just having a hard time and didn't mean to shout... i don't want him to think i left him in anger... i can't say anymore in case they find this... please... don't tell ma i may be alive... or Bella... i can never see them again... but i need someone to tell them that i loved them. don't let them forget that... ever." 

    And that was it. They sat in silence. Kalon watched Fumiko rereading the note, multiple times, before folding it up again and giving it back to him. He slipped it into his tote bag that was laying on the floor beside his feet. Arabella's eyes were out of focus, practically looking through the wall. Her face wore an expression he couldn't read. They sat in an intoxicating silence. 

  "I could've saved her..." he finally muttered, shattering the silence. He was planning on coming here the day before the note was written so he could grab a new notebook... but he decided it would be easier to just buy another one than walk down to the forest by himself, "I was supposed to come here but I was too lazy and scared and now she's gone and it's all my fault and I could've saved her but I didn't and now we'll never see her again and I've messed it up for everyone..." he could feel himself getting louder, his breathing started to speed up.  

Heart pounding... 

Throat aching... 

Mind racing... 

     Something about knowing that he could've done something... could've saved her... destroyed him. He couldn't wear his fake smile anymore. He couldn't pretend he was ok. He didn't know where to turn or what to do. He'd always felt so alone.  

    He just sat on the floor, curled up into a ball and proceeded to cry. He cried all the tears he'd been burying under the surface for the past few years. He allowed himself to mourn the friend he'd just lost all over again. He allowed himself to feel hurt about all the heartbreak. He allowed himself to rage about the abuse. Everything was boiling under the surface, and he'd managed to conceal it well... but this... this was his breaking point.  

    He'd slipped before. He would sometimes spend days alone, unable to move. It got so bad a few years ago that he... he had to be rushed to the hospital and stayed there for a few days. Everyone at school had just thought he'd given up and decided to... stop. Not that anyone cared. Everyone at school hated him anyway. It was just another thing to gossip about. No one really likes the student who can't keep his friends.  

    Renne had been the only person to understand what he needed and when. She would listen when he needed it, or she would just distract him. She would make him feel so loved. And then... just like that... snap. She's gone. And he didn't even get to say goodbye. She had said in the note that she wasn't even angry... but she was. He knew she would never hurt him on purpose... but he saw her face that evening. She was so hurt... so disappointed...  

    It was the evening of December 21st... the last time he had spoken to his best friend...