Dolis took a stroll outside, leaving his father's side for once from the gathering. The gardens that the harvest god Vitol had designed millennia ago were ethereal; Dolis had never seen the likes of such lush and aromatic plants and flowers back home. Nothing except cacti and a few dessert plants grew in the harsh, unforgiving deserts, and none of those survived the treacherous underground caverns Dolis and Xiros resided in. Dolis had once visited the gardens before, on his rare trip here centuries ago, but he didn't dare touch any of the leaves or delicate flowers. He feared his powers would destroy its beauty, wilt Vitol's precious creations with the blood of Dulo coursing through his veins.
He took to the paths, simply admiring the work as he traveled further from the crowds in the halls, finding solace in the silence out here. The bustling sound of gods celebrating and discussing plans to participate in Daelia's contest was too much for the god of destruction.
He stopped in front of a blossoming bush containing pearl-colored flowers that seemed to glow as bright as Lunera's moon. Dolis imagined it to be soft, delicate, and by all means the most beautiful work of Vitol's in Estruela. His hand hovered above it, wishing he could once reach out and touch it and feel the tenderness of the petals and leaves. He'd give anything to cherish it so without destroying it that a wave of sorrow had hit him.
He hated his power, even from the beginning and even before the Great War. Why was he the one to host such a terrible curse, to suffer the weight of the suffering? While other deities received prayers and offerings in praise, Dolis would receive spite, prayers based on fear, or bloodthirsty mortals wishing for revenge.
At the sound of nearing footsteps, Dolis reared his hand as if burnt by one of Valkan's flames. He nearly stumbled from the sudden movement before finding his feet, just narrowly missing hitting the flowers behind him with his other hand. He pulled his hands to his chest, hoping his powers hadn't slipped from his fingertips and ruined Vitol's precious works.
Daelia had caught him in the garden, and Dolis' stoicism had vanished.
An amused smile graced the god of love's face, sending a chill down Dolis' back. He hadn't meant to look Daelia in the face and quickly turned away, taking a step back from the deity.
"I didn't intend to scare you," Daelia said, his words sounding as velvet as Dolis imagined the flower petals would feel. "I simply wondered where the mighty god of destruction had wandered off to."
"I...needed air," was Dolis' weak response. "I meant no harm here, I swear."
"Vitol's garden is quite beautiful, isn't it?" Daelia ignored his comment. "Every piece in his collection here represents different species across Estruela. From the scorching south to the unforgiving winter north."
Dolis took another step back. "Shouldn't you be in there, celebrating?"
"You're not the only one who could use a break from the crowd," he said, cradling one of the flowers Dolis had admired. "Having hundreds of deities asking for a dance or a hint as to where Terah's tree is can be quite tiresome."
Dolis had no words, simply gazing at the flower nestled in Daelia's fingers. It would have been a lie for Dolis to agree and tell him he felt the same under the eyes of the deities as they stared at him for all the opposite reasons. They vied for Daelia's affection and yearned for even the slightest emotional response, but for Dolis, all he knew was the look of malice and fear. And yet both felt the crowd stifling, albeit for opposite reasons.
As Daelia took a step closer, Dolis took a step back, afraid that, like the flower, Daelia would so much as wither away if he got too close.
Daelia frowned, pausing in his tracks. "Will you be participating, Dolis? In finding Terah's tree."
Dolis hadn't meant to gaze up at him again, the action and Daelia's beauty startling him. "I do not know if that is wise."
"There's no harm in trying. The other gods and deities will compete."
"But they are not me."
Daelia tilted his head. "And what would that be?"
"You know of me, Daelia, of my power. I do not think it wise."
Daelia smirked. "I'd say you have an unfair advantage. They might all give up if the others hear of you participating."
Dolis scoffed. "You mean to run in fear of being at the wrong end of my destruction? Of my wrath and anger?"
Dolis chanced a look, spotting the amusement on Daelia's lips. "I've yet to see you get angry, Dolis."
"The war that took Terah's vessel and forced her into the form she resides in now?" Dolis prompted. "Surely you were there."
"That was Dulo, not you."
"I was there, Daelia. Young and naive and a fool. I did not have control over what I could and could not destroy. Dulo still lives on through Xiros and my blood. Surely you have heard of the forests and mountains I've wreaked havoc on? The cities and people I have razed because of it." Dolis let out a frustrated sigh. "I'd destroy everything if I were to participate."
"Destruction can be a lovely thing." Daelia turned to cradle another plant beside him.
"Those words do not go together."
"Destruction can be the catalyst to new things," Daelia said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Think of Valkan's flames that scorch the land. From there, Terah and Vitol's plants can begin anew, hosting new habitats for Dauna's creatures. Or Marth's oceans that rise and reshape the earth."
"Yes, but that has nothing to do with me. Oceans and fires are different."
"Yes, but the things you destroy lead to new things, too, Dolis. Do not put yourself down like that."
Dolis frowned; the memories of the pillaged villages and bloodied ground were constant for centuries—the broken cries of those who lost loved ones, of children weeping over their parents. He stared at his hands, almost feeling the warm slick blood dripping between his fingers. They should have been dyed red with the number of lives he had decimated.
"Why do you not scorn or fear me?" Dolis voiced finally, his voice feeble on his tongue as he erased the image out of his head.
Daelia didn't respond immediately, his eyes enraptured in the beauty of one of the recent budding flowers off to his left. He smiled before raising his gaze to Dolis. "Because love knows no limitations. No one is deemed unworthy of it."
Daelia laughed at Dolis' expression before adding, you do not believe me, but that is quite alright. It will surprise you one day, and you'll learn that feeling accepted and loved is okay. No matter what everyone—including yourself—has made you believe."
"I don't," Dolis agreed. He didn't think he'd ever believed otherwise.
"Well, I suggest you give this contest some thought," Daelia said.
"And why should I? I do not desire to be upon the high court." Dolis glanced away. "I've never belonged amongst them."
"Terah's tree provides more than just a spot on the high court."
Dolis frowned; aside from being a part of the council, there was no reason Daelia could possibly see him as someone worth the earnings from such a contest. "I think it preposterous to compare me as your equal."
"I speak of Terah's healing properties." Daelia looked at him gently.
"Oh?"
"My powers grant me to see the size of one's heart." Daelia's words were soft. "Xiros' is shrouded, small, in mourning over Terah, even now."
"And mine?" Dolis was almost afraid to ask.
"Swollen, wallowing in agony." Daelia's jaw tightened. "I've never met anyone to have a heart as large and as pained as yours. Even Xiros is in better shape."
"And Terah's tree would heal such a thing?"
"She may," Daelia said. "She may not. She determines who's worthy of her blessings. If deemed worthy, she has the power to heal all ailments, including that pained heart of yours."
Dolis nearly scoffed. "Worthy? Then I stand no chance looking for Terah's tree."
"Terah does not judge your past actions, powers, or opinions others have of you. None of that matters to her, only the true essence of your being."
"The essence?" Dolis said, more to himself than to anyone. "With Dulo's curse, I doubt any of it'll matter."
"Give it some thought," Daelia insisted. "It would be a shame if you didn't."
Dolis stared intently as Daelia ran his fingers over the delicate flowers with such grace it was enough to put anyone in a trance. For a second, Dolis wondered what it would feel like to touch the fingers that ran over the flowers.
"You should return," Dolis said absent-mindedly. "To the festivities."
"I shall." The god of love bowed his head. "Consider it, Dolis. For your own heart's sake...and mine."
Before Dolis could think to ask what he meant, Daelia had spun on his heel, walking toward the crowd of partying deities.
Dolis watched as the god walked, practically floating toward the building. He couldn't help but feel bewitched, the power of Daelia's attraction reaching even the flowers, leaning in the direction he left as if yearning for Daelia's attention. Or, as Dolis morbidly thought, leaned away from his grasp, finding his presence unbearable in the garden.
Yet he couldn't move at first, his conversation with Daelia swirling in his head, only leaving more questions than a sense of understanding. It wasn't until he heard the excitable crowd cheering for Daelia's return that Dolis found his feet, taking his time to settle his breath and thoughts.
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