The Alola sunset always made you feel calm for some reason. It was peaceful, gave you time to think things over, and just try and sort your thoughts out.

For some reason, what that kid from earlier yelled at you after you beat him, bothered you.

" You damn cheater! " He had shouted like the sore loser he was. A lot of the trial brats or visiting trainers who were too new to the world of pokemon seemed to think how you battled was cheating. Or maybe they just assumed it when they saw your team outfit.

Your dogs were trained to respond to your whistle, trained to go hard and not let up, using their moves in any way that worked to win. Especially for poison types. The kid was some mainland newbie with a level 10 Kanto electric rodent, and a level 15 Ekans, Lemon Meringue tore through them no problem, and the battle as over. You didn't really listen to whatever else the kid yelled at you even why he shouted how " The Trial Captains were right, you Team Skull guys are just a bunch of bullies " like it was your fault that HE challenged YOU, not the other way around.

So to be "nice" you gave the kid a word of advice if he wanted to complete the trials so bad. " Push through and get stronger if you don't want your day soured. " To which he shouted a " Screw you! " As you walked away.

[" Push through the bad things. "] you don't remember where you had first heard it, just that it was a phrase you repeated in your head to drown out the bad stuff.

The boss expected his skullies to go hard in battle, because we'd be the ones getting crushed if we eased up.

So why did you feel bad for that kid?

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    It was an understatement to consider panic attacks to be stressful. To you, it felt like your energy had been sucked away, and interacting with people was hard to stomach. At least for a few days. Blaring music to keep your mind too busy to let those bad thoughts in, spending hours just watching pokemon videos on Rotube, scrolling through social media, checking out pro trainer blogs, or just sleeping, letting days melt by till you felt better.

   Dad gave you your space. When you were like that, he'd sometimes come to your room, and tell you about his work day, and you'd listen quietly, turned away to stare at the wall as he rubbed your back. He'd always ask how you were feeling, and you'd just shrug.

    Before you knew it, you realized it had been three days already.

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     One day, checking yourself in a mirror, you saw that your neck was scratched raw again. You just put ointment on it. And you realized two more days had already passed.

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    On Pok’ecord your skullie friends flamed you for doing something stupid in the nicest way they could manage. They knew all about the shit that went down, and were always there when you needed them. Giving you the verbal beatdown you probably deserved most of the time. It came from a place of love though, so you appreciated being called out on your dumbass antics.

     Then there was your Unova friends, but they were harder to talk to. For a different reason. Hilda heard from someone, and asked if you were okay. Aunt Betty also came to visit everyday to check on you while your dad was at work, always with a lunch prepared. Even though you were too exhausted to interact with them, you appreciated that they cared. You found it hard to face them though.

      Somehow… This time felt so much worse than the others… it hit harder…

      You just couldn’t figure out why…

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      Two more days melted by, and you started to feel good enough to walk around the house while your dad was at work. Checking yourself in a mirror, you saw that your neck was scratched raw again. You just put ointment on it. On Pok’ecord your friends flamed you for doing something stupid in the nicest way they could manage. They knew all about the shit that went down, and were always there when you needed them. Giving you the verbal beatdown you probably deserved most of the time. It came from a place of love though, so you appreciated being called out on your dumbest antics.

      Another nightmare managed to slip in that night. You had been feeling better, so it hit you hard, your chest heaving, trying to catch your breath, and your body soaked in a cold sweat. Rhubarb escorted you down the stairs so you could get water after you managed to calm yourself down. Being as quiet as possible walking into the kitchen, the moon lighting your way through the windows, you almost hadn’t seen the silhouette of your dad at the table.

     If you had a working set of cords, you would have screamed from getting startled, luckily you didn’t. Holding onto your bipedal dog, you took a deep breath, before turning back to your dad.

     Unlike you, your dad was actually snoring away, his big body hunched over where he was sitting, arms crossed over the table to cradle his head. Blinking a few times, you wondered why he wasn’t in bed. You’d seen him stay up late a few times studying if a client’s pokemon had a special problem. But you didn’t often see him asleep at the table.

     Turning to your midnight Lycanroc as he returned the [ "This is weird…" ] look before directing your gazes at his still laptop open, still turned on in front of his sleeping form.

      Curious for a moment, you took a peek at his screen after you got a cup of water, eyes scanning the opened tabs, wondering what pokemon he was-

| Alternative therapies for trauma | How to help a person prevent panic attacks | Aides for pokemon based phobias | Good pokemon for -

     The laptop was quickly closed, maybe a little too roughly, and you went back to bed with your cup of water.

     You didn’t sleep easily that night.

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     A few more days passed, sleeping till noon, and eating the food your dad left for you in the fridge. Stanley and Anderson came to visit at one point to see how you were holding up. It felt nice to see them, though you could tell they had been worried. You conveyed you were fine, and once they left, you went about your day, not feeling like slaying down anymore.

      Your room was feeling stuffy, so you opened the window to let the fresh air and sunlight in. The fresh air felt nice, and you felt like you had more energy than before after that small chat. You ended up cleaning your room, took a quick shower, and put on fresh clothes. you decided to pass the afternoon by brushing your pokemon. Rock type pokemon didn’t have high body temperatures, and their fur wasn’t super soft like a vulpix or a Togekiss, but you still loved running your fingers through it.

    "Hey, lemon drop," Your dad smiled at you after coming home from work to see you waiting for him. "Oh, sure, you can come to work with me, if you want," he broke out into a huge smile when you conveyed that you wanted to leave the house. You agreed.

     You felt like it was time to finally leave the house again.

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   " If you ever awake "
   " In the mirror of a bad dream "
   " And for a fraction of a second, "
   " You can't remember where you are "

  Going outside for the first time after more than a week of practically being chained to your room, felt both weird and refreshing. Like you were a Zubat coming outta it's cave for the first time. The natural sun was bright despite still being early, but the morning air felt nice to breathe in deep.

     " Just open your window "
     " And follow your memories "
     " Upstream "
     " To the meadow in the moutian "
     " Where we counted every falling star "

   "Ready to go, lemon drop?" Your dad asked as he finished checking his Archinine's, Key Lime, poke-saddle straps. You nodded your head, giving a thumbs up before slinging your backpack over your shoulders, your team safe in their balls. "Righty-o, let's get goin then," your dad easily climbed onto his riding pokemons back and just as easily you climbed up behind him. Holding onto the saddle harness, your dad whistled, giving Key Lime his signal to get going. The giant dog easily stood up under your combined weight, and after a moment to get started, he was off like a pistol.

    " I believe the light that shines on you "
    " Will shine on you forever "
    " (Forever) "
    " And though I can't guarantee there's nothing scary"
    " Hidin' under your bed "

   Your house was in the more open parts of Nimbasa. Dad didn't like driving, so he spent an entire week finding a good place to live for the sake of you, your pokemon and the capability of riding them. Your aunt and grandparents lived in the city, while your house was more situated nearing the outside.

   You were grateful for that.

     " I'm gonna "
     " Stand guard "
     " Like the postcard "
      " Of the golden retriever "

   Pressed into your dad's back, face turned to the scenery of the morning sun licking over the far away buildings, a smile spread on your face. The wind whipped by as the fire dog ran and leaped into the air, speeding by like a bullet. He was your dad's first pokemon, but he still ran like he was newly evolved. It always reminded you of when you were little, sitting in front of your dad so you wouldn't fall off as the scenery zoomed by on the back of the beloved Arcanine.

    " And never leave "
    " 'Til I leave you "
    " With a sweet dream in your head "

   Riding your pokemon easily cut the time it took to travel to the more busy parts of the city. Though you rode Lemon Meringue bareback, dad preferred a saddle for Key Lime. Still, it was always a fun freeing feeling you took for granted on Alola. Despite how tired you had been feeling the past few days, suddenly the noise in your head and the heaviness in your limbs disappeared.

    " I'm gonna watch you shine "
    " Gonna watch you grow "
    " Gonna paint a sign "
    " So you always know "

   The morning air whipping through your long hair, tangling it, the feeling of the world zooming by, the scenery practically a blurr, it was relaxing. It was like you were suddenly far away from your problems for a minute. It left you feeling a weird … stillness in your head. It was different from dissociating, it felt clearing instead of empty. It was nice.

     " As long as one and one is two "
     " Ooh ooh ~ "
     " There could never be a father "
     " Who loved his daughter more than I love you~ "

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    Your dad worked at a special training course set up for PKMN Coaches. It was his job to teach people how to handle their companion pokemon, if someone decided to have one that wasn't the usual type of house pet. Watching your dad work has always been kinda fun, seeing him handle different types of pokemon, evaluating them and their owners to find out what needed to be worked on, and listening to him explain things.

    The big guy could be pretty bad with words sometimes, teenage girls aren't pokemon afterall but with work he seemed to be a complete professional, despite how laid back and lazy he looked.

   Sitting off to the side, holding Zesty in your lap, you watched your dad work with his clients from a distance. While the fresh air was doing you some good, helping filter out the smog and noise in your head, you were still tired. He patiently worked with a Zweilous, in which the client insisted on keeping, since they raised it from an egg. The client wasn't much older than you either, but watching them get frustrated with the two headed dragon type, reminded you of when you as your first Pokemon, Lemon Meringue would buttheads when she was still a rockruff. Your dad helped you train her.

   Your dad was so tall he towered over a lot of the people, his large body allowing him to handle most things a client's pokemon threw at him, but that didn't mean he made it out without scratches and bruises. Watching him work wearing his lazy smile that just put people at ease when they saw it, and you could tell he was enjoying himself.

  Each coaching session was filled up with your dad watching a pair's progress compared to the last time he saw them. You could tell he paid attention to the behavior of both the pokemon and their owner. Like you, your dad could be observant when he wanted to, and it helped him in his job a lot, at least you'd imagine.

  "You doing okay, honey lemon?" Your dad asked in between clients, giving you some sliced fruit as a snack, and you just nodded your head. "That's good… you're looking a lot better today too." Sitting next to you, your dad wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into a side hug. For a moment, everything was quiet and calm. It felt like you could think clearly now. "You know you can come to work with me whenever, right?" Your dad spoke up, his voice soft, you looked up at him and he just smiled, "Juuust something to think about." Nodding again, you just leaned into him, ignoring the feeling growing in the back of your head.

   The rest of the afternoon flew by, just enjoying watching your dad interact with different people and pokemon. A lot of the clients and their Pokemon seemed to love your dad. It was much like how the deport agents seemed to adore and respect Ingo and Emmet. Like how the skullies really looked up to big boss Guzma. It made you wonder [ "Could I ever be like that?" ] You really did love Pokemon, and people too, just… didn't know what to do. For a moment, you thought being a PKMN Coach might be fun, since you'd get to work with all kinds of Pokemon. On the other hand, there was also clients like a boy with an overly friendly Tangela who didn't know how to keep his blue vines to himself.

   "Sorry about that Lemon Drop," Your dad had laughed as he handed you back your dog, completely out of breath as you both sat back down. "I'm so so sorry!" The boy apologized after scolding his Pokemon, "It's alright, it just means we gotta keep working with him is all," your dad laughed, waving it off. The two of you shared the light hearted laugh, and even though you couldn't making more than some wheezing sounds, your dad's loud and honestly laugh made up for it, as he started to recount the event with "Did you see how it jumped out of the way," and "It just went sliding like a baseball player heading to home base!" Going to work with your dad was just a lot of fun. It really made you feel better to have a distraction.

   You spent a good 10 minutes trying to get Zesty back from that pokemon without commanding your dog to attack it as you, your dad, and its owner chased the blue mass of vines around the training course. Apparently the Tangela just loved making new friends, it just had the wrong approach. Again, a habit your dad was helping them work on. Though he later said it used to take an hour to get the pokemon to stop its shenanigans. Still a funny moment though.

     Hugging your rock type close as your own breathing started to settle. Being outside again, taking big breaths of fresh air after running around with your dad and pokemon, all felt amazing. It was like each breath filtered out the smog  clouding your head.

" Father and Daughter - Paul Simon "