Briar liked this man. 

He vaguely remembered Jesse saying one of their partners were called Quinn and seeing as the two most likely arrived together, he managed to piece together that this large, dark man was who the little fox had been referring to. 

They didn't tell me how much fun he was though!

"Again, again!" Briar cheered, clapping excitedly. He was sat at Quinn's feet, legs crossed and rocking back and forth on his bottom in anticipation.

"Alright, one more time and then you need to help me pack away all the toys. Does that sound good, little one?". 

He stared into those honey eyes, head tilted and hummed in debate. He wanted to be a good boy for the kind man... but Briar also really didn't want to put the toys away either; this was the most fun he had ever had. But again, he really did want to be a good boy and make his new friend happy.

"Aw, okay then. We can play together again soon?". 

"I would love that" Quinn said softly, smiling all big, wide and beautifully. He was an very large man but Briar could tell this bear was more likely to cuddle him than eat him. 

I hope he doesn't eat me anyway... that would be scary.

And so, after getting to see the amazing dinosaur show put on by Quinn again (for the fourth time), the two of them began collecting all of the toys and putting them back inside the bag they came in. 

"No, wait!" Briar suddenly yelled and grabbed the kind man's hand, stilling it from closing the zip. 

"What is it?". 

"They can't breathe!". 

Quinn looked down at the bag then gasped dramatically, quickly unzipping it a fraction. "Oh no, I completely forgot. Well done for noticing though, Briar. I'm sure they are all very grateful". 

Filled with pride at his quick thinking, he nodded his head and tapped the side of it. "I'm very smart, ev-even if bad man says I'm not". 

When the kind man's soft upturn of lips tilted downward, looking sad, Briar hurried to cheer him up, "But that's okay, because I know the name of all the Teletubbies, and he doesn't. Dipsy is my favourite because he's silly and loves bouncing on his bum- like me!".

And in the hopes of making Quinn laugh, little Briar hopped up and down on his behind until he accidentally landed on a wooden block they had forgotten to pack away. Instantly he yelped, rolling onto his side and cupping the throbbing flesh while repeatedly saying, 'ow!'. 

But all pain was forgotten when a deep chuckle of joy came from the kind man shortly before strong arms helped him up from the floor and onto said man's lap. 

"You silly boy. You really are just like Dipsy" he said, smiling. 

"Quinny's happy now?". 

"...yes, I am very happy. And how about you, sweetheart?". 

It was an immediate response, a truthful one that burst forth from Briar's grinning mouth, "I'm the happiest!".

But as Briar should have known, life for him had always followed a pattern. A painful and lonely one that reared its ugly head whenever true happiness entered his heart.

"You can't tell him now" a familiar voice said from just beyond the living room door, one that had excitement bursting in little Briar. He had completely forgotten he and Quinny weren't alone, Foxy and the old man were there too! Maybe they wanted to play together- Quinny would have to get the toys back out for them, right?

"But Harlow keeps calling his phone and I don't want to answer without permission"

Harlow.

Ah. That was right. While he was acting like a child and playing with hide and seek, the real world still continued. A world where Briar was an escort, a dirty man with debts and a boyfriend and bills that were piling up and his savings account was barely worth having and his head always ached and-

It was too much. 

"No..." he moaned under her breath, clutching at his head with claw-like fingers, digging the nails into skin hoping it would keep him grounded. 

He knew that what he and Quinn had been doing for the past day was wrong; acting like a child was perverted, disgusting and abnormal. It wasn't allowed. But he wanted nothing more than to go back five minutes, where he had been blissfully unaware of what was happening outside of that room, where only he and Jesse's partner were having fun. 

Jesse... Oh god, I'm sitting on their partners lap! We cuddled earlier! What the fuck am I doing?!

In an instant he was out of the arms that had felt too good around him and standing in the middle of the room, breathing heavily with a dizzy head. 

I have to leave. Harlow needs me home. I shouldn't be here. 

"Hey, sweetheart, what's wrong?".

His eyes snapped up from the hardwood flooring and to the eyes of the man who had just spent hours playing with him. The oh-so very kind man that the uneasy part of himself still wanted to seek comfort from. The man that had awoken part of Briar that terrified him.

"D-don't call me that. I'm not... I'm n-not...".

I'm not your sweetheart.

"Briar, are you feeling alright? You're a little pale".

Stop looking at me like that.

"Hey, talk to me little one".

Stop sounding like you care... you don't know me.

"Jesse, can you come in here please?".

No, no. Don't let him see me, not like this. This isn't me. Please stop looking at me. 

Pain seized control of chest and terror overtook his lungs, rendering them immobile. What was he doing there, playing with toys, giggling at children's movies and running around with another grown man... It was creepy. And he hated how much he'd enjoyed it, already craving to go back to that happier, freer headspace, despite knowing it wasn't acceptable. He was going to get into trouble, memories of years ago coming back to haunt his mind.

"Hey beautiful, what's wrong? C'mon, take a nice deep breath for me. That's it, and another one. Good job, try take a few more".

Jesse was there, kneeling in front of him and making Briar realise he must have collapsed to the ground during his attack. Jesse, with their lovely face, soothing voice and patient hands. Quinn was there too, standing a few steps away and watching with obvious concern, biting his lip but seemingly too wary to come closer. Stephen stood at the large man's side, patting his shoulder and watching Briar too, a bottle of water in hand and pain killers, which was great since a migraine was already forming behind his eyes.

How can they actually care about me? They barely know me, Quinn even less so. And I'm a mess, nothing but trouble and hassle. But if they do care about me, is it okay for me to let them, to accept it all? That sounds too nice to be true.

"Look at you, getting yourself all worked up. Idiot" Jesse joked gently, enticing a tiny smile from the calming Briar.

"Are you feeling any better now, swe-Briar?" Quinn asked, staying in place as Stephen walked over with the drink and tablets. 

"Yeah. Thanks, and I'm sorry for freaking out like that".

"No, no need to be sorry. But maybe we should talk out whatever is going on in that head of yours, hopefully it'll help quiet the worries. Would that be alright?".

"No... Harlow called, he must need something" he thought he muttered to himself, only to be asked a question he hadn't expected:

"But what do you need, darling?".

Silence fell, six eyes watching him and waiting. But he did not know how to answer; he hadn't really thought about it. It was always, 'Harlow needs this' or, 'this needs to be done', but what about Briar? Did he need- or want- anything?

"I want-", he swallowed thickly, licking dry lips that struggled to move and form the words he so desperately needed to share. "I want to stop feeling like this".

"And how are you feeling?" Quinn coaxed.

"Confused. Suffocated and... scared".

"Of what?" Jesse spoke in a near whisper, holding one of Briar's hands.

What am I not afraid of?

"You. Myself. Everything that happened today... I don't know what to do anymore. It's too much, I feel like I'm going to fall apart. I'm so exhausted and don't know how to keep going...".

Finally Quinn moved, coming to crouch by Jesse. And rather than being crowded or intimidated, Briar found himself feeling safe. Jesse would never hurt him, he knew that, and after seeing Quinn play with toys smaller than his fingers, it was hard to see him as frightening. Even Stephen who had moved to sit on the floor next to him was a welcome presence, the older man providing silent support.

"You telling us this is a really good first step. Well done, Briar, that took a lot of courage" Quinn smiled, the sight heart-warming. The praise felt really nice too, one of the many things that was confusing him alongside his odd trust of these people- one of whom he had only known hours. 

Something must be wrong with me.

"Step towards what?".

"Hopefully, towards a less confused and scared Briar. That would be nice, wouldn't it? Now, how about we all get something hot to drink and sit down for a nice, long chat? It doesn't have to be about anything you don't feel comfortable with, but take this opportunity to say whatever you want".

And when a large, dark hand was offered to him, Briar took it. His phone and the person calling it was tentatively forgotten about as the three of them sat down in Stephen's kitchen while the home owner took off for an untimely emergency at work.

But what did he want to talk about? Was it really okay for him to be as open as he needed to be to shed this crushing weight from his shoulders? Wasn't it odd that he wanted to tell them everything, even the thing's he couldn't say around Harlow in fear of upsetting him or inciting his anger? These men didn't know him on a deep level, but maybe that what made it feel so safe to just speak his mind.

"What happened to me earlier, why did that happen?".

"Do you mean the regression?" Quinn asked, taking a sip from the steaming mug of coffee. Upon seeing Briar's confused face however, he clarified, "when you became more child-like".

"Yeah, uh, that" he confirmed, looking down at his fingers fiddling with the mug handle, face flushing at the idea of everything he had done earlier.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed. You met me wearing pink fox ears and a tail- thankfully not my plug one- but did you think that was something I should've been embarrassed about? I literally run around on all fours and bark sometimes" Jesse spoke, abandoning their mug of hot chocolate to snag the plate of biscuits from the table.

"No, I'm not really sure why I didn't find it weird but it's just something you're into".

And they looked really cute in them. He barks too? Oh my gosh, that's adorable.

"Exactly. This is a safe space so say whatever you want free of judgement. Ooh, if we do this again can we please make a cool name for us, like a club meeting? The, 'Pinksters', no, 'Kinksters' or something!" Jesse perked up, getting excited until Quinn lay a warning hand on their shoulder. They went back to munching on biscuits quietly but were still listening intently.

"Well, research has shown that regression usually happens as a defence mechanism. For example, if you were feeling extremely overwhelmed, scared, anxious, threatened or other triggering emotion, your mind reverts to an age where you may not have to deal with such strong emotions before. Or to a period of time where you were at an age you felt safest. Were you feeling any of those this morning?".

Briar nodded emphatically. He had been about to do something regretful so it was fair to say he was not in a good way before Stephen helped him.

"That's most likely why it happened then, since you seem surprised by it. But some people choose to regress when they want to let go of everything that they might not be able to- or want to- deal with. A lot of Little's I've met chose to regress after a particularly stressful and demanding work period or after intense troubles socially".

Not wanting to acknowledge that he had felt that way during his panic attack, he chose to not mention it.

"Will it happen again or can I stop it? I can't risk this happening at home".

Quinn leaned forward, hands clutched together as his forearms rested on the table surface. His face was serious, thick eyebrows furrowed in the corners.

"Briar, is it safe for you at home? I am only asking because if you were to accidentally regress at home, you aren't in the right headspace to handle conflict or take care of yourself. Your safety is the most important thing to us".

That was a good question and a difficult one to answer. But if he had to be honest, and he really wanted to be with these two for whatever reason, this was something he couldn't give a confident or positive answer to.

But to explain, he would need to be more honest and open. Terrifyingly so.

"Today wasn't, uh, the first time it's happened- the regression thing. It's happened twice before but, um, Harlow reacted badly the second time. Very, very badly...". 

Briar could feel his palms sweating, past terror creeping up his back to run down his body in cold shivers. 

"Did he hurt you, Briar? Anything you tell us, we keep it between us unless you want it to go further" Quinn promised, leaving the trembling Briar feeling slightly reassured, even more so when Jesse rubbed his leg under the table with one of their small feet with funny little pink angry bird socks.

He had never told anyone this, but then again he hadn't had real friends to talk to for years. It was always just him and Harlow. Now part of him screamed that confessing it out loud was a terrible idea, that it would change everything, but being with these two people who meant more to him than he could even begin to understand drowned that screaming out. 

Briar needed to talk about what happened that night which scared off his Little side for three years. It had always been festering away in the back of his mind.

The night he first felt fear towards Harlow.