-Anjali-

I helped myself up and looked beside the table. The almost religious placement of tea on the table every morning was missing. Ashwathy hadn't been in the room today. I decided against sitting at home. What I needed was to step away from the embarassment I had caused for myself. I needed time before I could face Ashwathy again. I carried my wallet and phone and headed down, almost wobbling down the stairs. I looked around to see if I would have to meet her before leaving. She wasn't at the stairs she usually sat on, nor in the courtyard. I sighed and headed out to the main door. 

"Aren't you eating?"I stopped in my tracks and thought of the easiest excuse I could make. 

"Ah, aunty. I have some work to take care of in the town. So, I'll eat once I'm back", I lied. She hummed and closed the utensils, keeping them on the counter. 

"Ashwathy?" I asked almost inaudible. 

"She's taken up some modeling with a photographer friend of hers. She's passionate about it", Aunty said smiling. 

"I gotta head out for work, I'll drop you in town, come along", I smiled and nodded following her to her scooter. 

...

The only work I could possibly have here would be taking back the camera. I walked into the shop and was greeted by the same guy who flirted with Ashwathy that day. 

"I left my camera here that day", I started. 

"Oh yes of course I remember. The famous photographer friend of Ashwathy", he replied, a insincerity in his smile radiating throughout. 

"Okay, so the camera.."

"Oh Ashwathy didn't tell you? She collected it today morning"

"Is that so? Alright thanks", I turned to walk out. 

"Looks like you guys aren't close. When there's a photographer as renowned as you, why is she modeling for that talentless photographer in a town as this?" 

I walked out despite hearing that. I didn't have an answer to it either. Ashwathy never told me about her passion for modeling. Neither did she ever show interest in it. Or maybe I never paid attention. 

If I was feeling down earlier, now I felt like shit. The mental stress was catching up to me as physical exhaustion. What was a mere headache now became fever. I headed to the pharmacy downtown and grabbed myself a Panadol before deciding to head home. I was halfway through the journey home when my phone rang. I had blocked about six numbers of Sanya until now from every social media there was. This must be work, I thought; no, I hoped. 

"Hello, Anjali. It's me. Oh my god finally", an excited singsong voice spoke through the phone. 

"Hi Sanjana! Everything okay?" It was difficult not to recognize her from her unique tone. Sanjana was my manager outside of Sanya's agency. Any freelance project I did was brought in by her. 

"No. You remember the 5 year contract with Hive Magazine? You do know the compensatory damages add up to crores right?"

"I do Sanjana. What's your point?"

"Well, last year you pushed the shoot further, but I can't convince them anymore. Hell, you can't even convince me anymore", she shouted into the phone. 

"Who's the model?"

"It would be some Keralite model since the magazine hasn't featured much out-of-state models"

"Okay. I'll be there. Text me the details", I said in a calm tone. I needed a get away from my situation and this was a god given chance. I breathed a sigh of relief. 

"That easily? You are not lying right?"

"No"

"Fine I'll send the tickets"

"There's no need of that. I'll take care of it. Just text me the venue", I said and hung up. It was better if no one knew where I was. 

In the next half an hour, I had a ticket and taxi booked to The Imperial Kochi, a seaside resort where the shoot was scheduled. 

...

I had reached the resort early the next morning and the team had started setting up the location for the shoot as per the storyboard that I had sent the previous day. The shoot would only begin during sunset and the backdrops had to be set up before the model arrived. Chaos ensued the venue, especially since it was by the beach. The piqued interest of passersby and guests at the resort was unavoidable. 

Sanya would definitely know I was here by tomorrow. I had to finish this and return before she or anyone figured anything else. Somehow I focused on work more than necessary when I was stressed and I was thankful for that. By evening the backdrop was immaculate, everything ready just as I had planned. A shade of accomplishment washed over my mind. 

"Anjali", a excited screech rang in my ears. Sanjana ran my way and rushed to hug me. 

"How long has it been since I have seen you? How are you? You look so thin", she exclaimed. I pursed my lips into a thin line, nodding and smiling. 

"Fine. You don't have to be so obvious about your excitement of meeting me. The model is here. Her designers are getting her dressed", Sanjana said and I nodded. She hastily pulled something out of her backpack. 

"Here!" She handed a box over to me. I took it and opened it to find handmade Ajmeri Kalakand in it. 

"Mom made it for you. You used to like it a lot back then", she said. I smiled and put it in my backpack. 

"Thank her on my behalf. I'll visit when I get time", I said and looked at the bouqet being carried to a corner. 

"Let's get this over with", I sighed and started setting up my camera. I glanced at the shot list one last time as I saw the model in a white sequin wrap walk down the beach in the corner of my eye. I made small corrections on the camera angles written down and put my pen back on the table, set up for the crew. I looked in the direction of the model who sat in the chair assigned to her. My eyes widened in shock as I watched her glower at me. The paper in my hand fluttered, partially because of the wind and partially because of my trembling fingers. I set the paper on the table and rushed back into one of the stalls at the beach. I gagged as the uneasiness caught up to me. The headache that I had gotten rid of yesterday seemed to be making a comeback. I fell down on my knees and ran my fingers behind my neck until my nails dug into the skin. 

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" Sanjana asked walking in. 

"You said the model wouldn't be anyone outside the state", I yelled at her. 

"Yeah that's what I thought. Apparently she offered to feature in it for an affordable fee. But what's wrong?" Sanjana lowered down beside me, putting her hands on my shoulders. 

"I can't work with her. I can't shoot with Sanya", I declared, my voice cracking as I said it. 

"It's too late-..you guys worked together so many times, I thought it would be fine-", she stopped abruptly and looked behind her. 

"Everyone's waiting", an assistant said walking in. 

"Give us a moment. Bring me some water first", Sanjana told her. She paused and looked at us before nodding and leaving. She came back a minute later with a bottle of water. I gulped it down and washed my face and hair in front of the mirror at the stall. I closed my eyes for a minute before convincing myself I was fine. I clearly wasn't. 

...

Thankfully, Sanya didn't utter a word; rather glared at me every moment our eyes crossed. I had to walk her through several of the shots which I did from where I was standing. People looked on quizzically, lucky for me, the photos were up to my usual standards. Once the shoot was done, I shortlisted the pictures on the contact sheet with the Project Manager of the magazine in one of the conference rooms of the hotel. By midnight I was free to leave. All the while, the thought of running into her build up anxiety in my head. 

"There's a small get together at the hotel bar. Everyone's expecting you", the Project Manager said pretty excited. 

"I gotta catch the flight in 2 hours. I'm sorry", I rushed out of the office to the outfit room where I'd left my suitcase. I grabbed my case and turned around to get startled by Sanjana standing at the door. 

"Hey, I'll be leaving now. You guys enjoy alright", I said with a very distressed face and it didn't sit right with her.

"Can you at least tell me what's going on? Maybe I can help"

"You can't. Just let me go"

"Anjali you don't have to deal with everything yourself. Why do you just close everyone else off? I have considered you to be more than a friend. So why don't you reciprocate the same?"

"More than a friend?" I scoffed and looked up, "I really don't have time for this so please".

"You're too self centred. Just because your parents passed away, you acted like all of us abandoned you. When in reality, you just pushed us all away", I felt tears building up at the words she spoke. 

"You don't know what you're talking about", I said, my voice quivering. 

"I was thankful you confided in someone. What the fuck happened between you and Sanya?" She yelled. I was on the verge of a breakdown when a voice shocked us both. 

"I don't think that's any of your business Sanjana!" Sanya spoke walking into the room. Sanjana turned back and frowned. I felt a stabbing pain in my head, my hands trembled and I grabbed the chair beside me. Tears stopped flowing from my eyes as I was overwhelmed with raw fear. 

"Leave us alone. I need to talk to her", Sanya said looking at Sanjana coldly. I shook my head almost pleading her not to go. 

"I'm out of this Anjali. You deal with your shit", she said angrily walking away. Sanya closed the door, locking it behind her. 

"Sanya I-...Sanya I'm sorry, okay. I'm so-", I flinched and stopped talking as she slammed the chair on the floor. 

"So, where did it get you...... running away from me?"

"I'm sorry", I cried as she picked up a glass showpiece upon a small wooden shelf throwing it my way. I groaned as I felt a stinging pain above my eyebrows as the piece hit against my forehead. 

"You're fucking sorry now? Why didn't you just try to kill yourself like back then? Or do you have a reason to live now?" She yelled, I heard everything as a faint voice alongside the ringing in my head. My hands were painted red from the blood flowing from my head. 

"Take your stuff. You're coming back with me", she turned around and unlocked the door.

"I don't want to", I protested in between sniffles. She turned around and walked closer. 

"I don't want to go back", I mumbled as she grabbed my neck pushing me against the wall behind me. I grabbed her arm to let loose from her grip but failed. As the my breathing became shallow, the light in the room got dimmer, I could feel her grip tighten even beneath the skin on my neck. I grabbed her hands and arms flicking them off helplessly, until the room got darker and the voices got fainter.