Cailan was left alone again as soon as they got home, shut away in his room and told to read. It might have been a good thing, all this time to read and no demands placed upon him, if it weren't for the all encompassing need within him that kept him constantly distracted.
How long could he live like this? Could he adapt? It had always been described to him as an absolute need, something a master could take away briefly as punishment but that wouldn't ever be denied to them permanently any more than a master might deny them food permanently.
The time when he should have eaten came and went, but hunger didn't come to Cailan. The only need he had was the need for touch. He lay on his bed, knees pulled in close against his chest, and hugged himself, stroked a hand through his hair and pretended it was someone else petting him. It didn't work, but he couldn't stop either.
Cailan didn't realise he'd heard a knock on the door, didn't realise he'd heard Liam enter, until Liam was standing next to the bed, staring down at him. He knew he should move, that he should stand or kneel, but he couldn't stop clinging to himself.
Couldn't stop until Liam's hand reached out and pressed against his forehead, and then before he was even aware of moving Cailan found he was clinging to Liam's arm instead. Liam tried to pull back, but Cailan just held on tighter. He knew he was being bad, knew he would get in so much trouble, but he needed this.
"What's wrong, Cailan?" Liam asked, and Cailan realised suddenly that he'd been saying that all along, repeating it over and over.
Cailan shook his head and sniffed back against a sob. "I'm sorry, sir. I need it."
"Calm down. Need what?"
"I need you to touch me, sir."
Liam tried to jerk away, but Cailan had too firm a grip on him. "Touch you? Like...?"
"Like anything, sir. Please, please just touch me."
"You mean like..." Liam slowly reached out the hand Cailan hadn't taken hostage and brushed it lightly over the top of Cailan's hair.
"Yes," Cailan sobbed out as he pressed back against the hand, making the touch firmer.
Slowly, Liam knelt next to the bed. He continued to pet Cailan's hair, and he didn't try to pull his other arm away again. "I had heard it said that Companions need touch, but I didn't think it was meant so literally. I thought they were just trained to desire physical contact, but you actually seem ill.”
Cailan rocked his head from side to side in a shake. "It's all of us, from birth. That's why isolation is the perfect punishment, sir."
"You don't have to call me sir."
"Sorry."
"That's okay."
As Liam's hand continued stroking through his hair, Cailan slackened his grip on Liam's other hand. He was already feeling less hysterical. "Am I in a lot of trouble now?"
"No."
"I should be."
"You don't get to decide that."
Cailan sighed and tilted his head to the side so that Liam could brush his hair around his ear. "Thank you, Liam."
"You're welcome, Cailan."
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