I knock gently on the door, and break into a smile when a little voice calls out for me to come in. I open the door, then stop in surprise as a tangled cascade of sound spills out through it.

Ellen is sprawled out on her stomach on her bed, drawing something. She has headphones on, but there’s also music playing from her little set of speakers on the desk, and a video about outer space playing on Kent’s laptop, which is sitting open on the floor.

“El, what-?” I breathe out a soft laugh as she pulls the headphones down around her neck. “I can basically track your progress around this room if I follow the stuff you forgot to turn off, bud.”

“I’m sorry!” Ellen gives her shoulders a sheepish shrug, watching as I pause the video and shut off the speakers. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Oh, it’s fine! But wasn’t the noise bothering you?”

“No.” She turns back to what she’s drawing, shrugging her little shoulders again. “I wasn’t listening to it.”

I take a second look at Ellen after I’ve set the laptop on her desk. Our last lesson got canceled at the last minute, because Kent needed me to cover for him at the shop instead. So I haven’t seen Ellen this week, and - something seems different.

Is it my imagination, or is she less restless than normal? The only movement is her hand on the paper, and her feet absently twisting in slow circles as she draws. I normally only find Ellen like this when she’s really absorbed in something or really tired, neither of which she seems to be right now.

“You seem a little more - comfortable today, El? Or something?”

“Yeah, I am! Dad bought me clothes without tags in them.” She glances up at me and crinkles her nose. “It was so itchy, before. Even if dad cut them out, I could still feel the pokey parts.”

I take a searching look at Ellen’s face as she moves over so I can sit down beside her on the bed. Kent opened the envelope Naomi sent, and I know that he and Gabby had a talk with Ellen afterwards. I want to know how Ellen took everything, and to see if she wanted to talk anything through with me.

I break into a relieved smile, observing her fondly as she sits up to look at me. She seems all good. If anything, her little face tells me that she’s in a bright mood.

“How has school been lately, El?” I ask tentatively, just in case.

“It’s been okay!” She keeps working on her drawing as she talks, sorting through her colored pencils. “I told a boy in my class that I’m autistic.”

She says this last part with a touch of pride in her voice.

“Really?” I draw back in surprise, staring at her with wide eyes. “Wow, Ellen. What did he say?”

“He laughed at me.” Ellen glances up from her drawing and shoots me a disbelieving look, like - what an idiot. “I told him he probably just doesn’t know what it means. I told him not to be embarrassed about that, though, and that I didn’t know before, either! I said it’s not his fault he didn’t know. Or that he did something so dumb.”

“You-?” I had frozen up in dismay, but now I let out a startled laugh. “Really? How’d he take that?”

“He looked confused. So I offered to explain what it meant, but he just left.” Ellen winces at me. “I think he could tell how embarrassed for him I was. His face got really red.”

I try and fail to fight down an enormous grin. Something about the handling of that situation screams of Gabby’s influence.

I give Ellen’s ribs an affectionate poke. “So that’s what Naomi said? You’re autistic?”

“Mhm, which is cool, because she is, too!” Ellen flashes me another bright smile. “And she sent a test for me to take, to see if I also have ADHD.”

“What result did you get?”

“I - keep forgetting to take it,” Ellen admits, already focused on her drawing again. “Dad left me to do it a few times, but it’s boring, and I - oh, Jamie!”

Her head snaps up, a beaming grin spreading across her face. One that I know means we’re about to jump topics to something she just remembered she really wanted to tell me about.

“I made a new friend!”

“Really?” I let out a scandalized gasp, then drop my voice to a confidential whisper. “Is there drama with Olivia? Tell me everything.”

“No, it’s not that!” Ellen giggles, pressing her hands over her mouth. “He’s just new to my school, so we've never met before now!”

“He’s new?” I tilt my head to the side, caught by surprise. “At this point in the school year?”

Poor kid. It must be so nerve-wracking, so hard to make friends when the school year is already reaching its end. It sounds difficult, and lonely.

Although clearly he’s already made one friend. Ellen’s eyes are brightening at the thought of him. She’s a little out of breath before she’s even said anything about him, like she doesn’t know where to start.

“He’s, um - he lives on a farm! It’s kind of far away. He has to get up really early to get to school, but he failed the state standard tests, so they wouldn’t let his parents homeschool him anymore. He had to come to my school to finish out the year! It’s the closest.”

“Oh,” I answer slowly, caught by surprise all over again. “Wow, okay. How’d you two make friends?”

“He hasn’t been in a real school before.” Ellen turns her colored pencil over in her hands, over and over. “So he’s - he doesn’t know how to act.”

She breaks into a big grin, then adds - “Like me.”

I let out a startled laugh, and Ellen laughs, too.

“He was at school for like a month, and nobody had really said anything to him yet. And he hadn’t tried to say anything to anybody, so I thought maybe he just wants to be alone all the time.” Ellen lifts her eyes to me in obvious bewilderment. “But then I said one nice thing to him, and after that he just started following me around everywhere.”

I make a face at her. “Was that annoying?”

“No,” she giggles, squeezing her colored pencil. “It was just weird. After a while I asked him what he was doing, and his cheeks got all red. He said he was sorry, but I wasn’t mad. I think he’s sweet.”

I press my fingers over my mouth, trying not to give too much away with my expression. But Ellen is still going, having only paused to catch her breath.

“He has a hard time at school, just like me. He says he misses the animals at the farm, and he doesn’t like being inside all day. I think he’s sad because of it. But he’s so nice! And he says weird, funny things.”

“Like what?”

“Like - his family’s farm has two horses, so I asked him to say howdy, like in the movies,” Ellen giggles, “And he said, I know I’m a hick, but I don’t really say shit like that.”

“Wh-?” I let out another burst of laughter, my eyebrows arching all the way up. “Ellen! He said that?”

“Yeah,” Ellen says breathlessly, giggling through every word. “He likes to listen when I talk about planets, and, um, he said that I should come to the farm and - and see all the animals, and-”

She’s starting to stumble over her words in excitement, so I cut her off with an affectionate laugh.

“He sounds nice, El! Are you gonna go to the farm?”

“Yeah, dad is gonna take me today!” Ellen drops her gaze to the drawing in her lap, like she’s suddenly remembered it’s there. She starts coloring again, shading something green. “Actually, he said he would talk to you about doing my science class at the farm tonight, so we don’t have to come home early?”

She flashes me a pleading look.

“Sure thing, bud.” Sounds like a good place for a science class, anyways. “I’ll go find Kent so we can sort it out.”

“Yay, thank you! Oh, but wait, gimme one sec!”

Ellen starts coloring very fast, so I get up and wander towards the window to see how Kent’s cherry tree is doing. But my eye catches on something that stops me.

Ellen’s closet is open, and hanging up on the inside of the door is her Old West sheriff’s outfit. The one she used to wear every day.

The sight of it pushes against something in my chest. Ellen hasn’t worn it in so long, and I haven’t thought about it in forever. Looking at it now, I’m realizing… it wouldn’t fit her anymore.

Oh, my god. I’ve watched Ellen outgrow that part of her life. Literally and figuratively.

“Jamie!” Ellen bounds down from her bed, then throws her arms around me for a hug. “Happy birthday! Sorry I’m a little late!”

“Aw!” I blink in surprise when she offers me the piece of paper she was drawing on. “Oh, El, for me? This is…”

I trail off, staring down at the drawing she did of us. The colored pencil version of me is holding out a plant, showing it to Ellen as she watches and smiles. She filled in the background with sunlight and leafy trees. She even put me in my flannel, and did the soft little black cloud of her own hair with some detail.

My mind goes to other birthday drawings I have from Ellen, ones that were essentially stick figures holding hands. Done in wobbly crayon, not smooth colored pencil.

“Thanks, El,” I stammer, with a hoarseness in my voice I’m glad she doesn’t notice.

“You’re welcome!” She’s already making a beeline for the laptop. “Okay, now you can go talk to dad! I’ve got some animals to research before I get to the farm, anyways!”

I let out a quiet laugh, watch Ellen for a moment, then let myself out of her room. I’m still looking at the drawing as I come down the stairs, so I let out a startled yelp when I look up to find Kent right in front of me.

“Oh, Jesus! Where’d you just come from, boss?”

“I was in the backyard!” Kent looks equally startled, and from the way it’s turning into exasperation I can tell I’m veering dangerously close to a lecture about sneaking around his house. “Jamie, let me explain something to you real quick. Sneaking around my house-”

“I wasn’t sneaking, I - just wasn’t paying attention!”

“In my house.”

“Okay, I was just looking for you to say that yes, I can do Ellen’s science class at the farm, but you know what? Now I think I’ve changed my mind!”

“Oh, really?” Kent arches a doubtful eyebrow. “You’d do something like that out of spite, huh? You, James Keane?”

I tip my head back and let out a heavy, aggrieved sigh. “What time should I meet you there? You’ll have to send me the address.”

Kent fixes me with a smile, then gently swats my arm. “Thanks, man. Ellen is really excited.”

I can tell, I’m about to answer, but the doorbell rings before I can. Kent and I exchange a puzzled glance. I follow him to the door, and he opens it to the rainfall. Our gazes drop downwards to the kid standing on the step.

He’s lean and scrawny, with hazel eyes and short, russet-colored hair. Sun-baked skin, sunburned cheeks. He looks like a little chip of sunlight against the grey, icy rain sifting down outside, even with his hair turned spiky and wet by it.

His battered boots are dark with mud-splatter that climbs up onto his jeans, like he’s walked some way alone in the rain. He’s tall for his age, with an unusually serious expression on his face for a kid. He has callused hands, a few healed nicks on the sides of his palms. He’s chewing gum, and he tosses his wet hair out of his eyes when he lifts his gaze to us.

It all comes together to make him look a little older than he probably is, but I suspect he’s actually right around Ellen’s age.

He quickly catches his faded, sunbleached t-shirt between his fingers and uses it to swipe some raindrops off of his face.

“Afternoon, sir,” he says, looking up at Kent nervously. “I hope it’s no bother, me turning up like this.”

It’s a funny thing to hear in his little voice. Kent draws back in surprise, then exchanges another swift glance with me.

“Um… you must be Emmett, right?” he asks, turning back to the kid. “Ellen’s friend from school?”

Emmett nods, looking up at Kent with hopeful eyes. “She said she could come out to my folks’ farm today?”

“Right, but - I was gonna drive her there,” Kent answers slowly, his eyebrows knitted. “And I was planning to stay, so I can meet your parents, and-”

He cuts himself off as Emmett nods, instantly and earnestly.

“Yep! My mom said she’ll make pancakes, if you want.”

“Oh, that’s nice. Wait, but you still came all the way here to pick Ellen up?” Kent stares down at Emmett, increasingly bewildered. “Didn’t you have to take the bus a pretty long way?”

Emmett shrugs his shoulders shyly, then lets out a rush of fast, nervous words all at once.

“Wanted to make sure you could find the place. It’s off the main road some, and it ain’t marked. Even my uncles have missed the turnoff and got lost coming to our farm, and they work down the road at the feed mill. So I thought I’d - and I wanted to make sure the rain didn’t put you off, because-”

Emmett breaks off abruptly as Ellen comes bounding down the stairs behind us. A glowing, excited smile instantly lights up her eyes when she sees him.

He freezes, then stuffs his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. Trying to look casual, but suddenly he’s chewing his gum again, and twice as fast as he was before.

“Hey, Emmett!” Ellen calls out eagerly, running along the length of the couch to get to him faster.

“Howdy, Ellen,” he answers, stopping her short.

“What-?” She lets out a cascade of startled giggles as she leaps down from the couch and stops before him. “I thought you don’t say that!”

Emmett’s sunburned cheeks turn a deeper shade of crimson. “I thought about it, and - shoot, if you want me to, no reason I can’t.”

“No, dummy,” Ellen laughs, catching him by his wrist and pulling him into the house. “That’s not - it’s not - forget it! Here, take off your shoes! Now that you’re here I can show you my room! Wait, what are you doing here, and - and - why are you all muddy?”

“But you’re still gonna come out today, right, Ellen?” Emmett asks anxiously, shedding his boots before he races after her. “I shined up the horses real nice this morning. And it’s not raining out there, it’s fine out once you get clear of the-”

“Oh, duh, we’re gonna go! I don’t care if it’s raining! But before we go I just want to show you the, um - the - oh. I don’t remember now. But I will!”

“Okay,” Emmett laughs breathlessly, as she catches his wrist again to lead him up the stairs. “Hey, um - sure looked like you wanted to meet the piglets, when I told you about them? So I checked on ‘em, and I think they’re old enough now, if you want to hold one.”

“Hold one!” Ellen squeals, at a volume that briefly knocks Emmett back a step.

But he quickly scrambles back up after her, breaking into laughter. “What-? It’s just a piglet!”

“Just a piglet!” Ellen repeats, throwing her hands up in disbelief.

Kent and I watch as she and Emmett go bounding up the stairs, both of them laughing.

Kent’s eyes narrow behind his glasses, and he casts me a sidelong look. “Why do I suddenly feel like I have to supervise this?”

I press my fingers over my mouth. “Oh my god, Kent - Ellen’s first real-life crush!”

“Nope.” Kent closes his eyes, shaking his head slowly. “Nope, no, no, this is not starting already!”

“Oh, come on, she’s almost ten! I had crushes way before that! Brutal, debilitating crushes!”

“No! I have enough to worry about! I’m not worrying about this for - for ten more years! At least!” Even as Kent says it, he’s headed for the stairs. “Maybe fifteen!”

“Then why are you going upstairs, Kent?”

“Meet us at the farm at six!” he calls back, then marches upstairs to supervise.