“I'm worried about Oscar,” I said one day. I rolled over on Simon's bed, the sun making his side of the mattress too warm, yet the whole apartment smelled like of him. “He hasn't been replying to my messages.”

“College is hard,” Simon said, sitting back at his kitchen table. His laptop was opened, papers and pens decorating the entire tabletop space. “And time-consuming. I think you forget that. You've watched Pitch Perfect too many times.”

“But that's never stopped us from talking. All of us talked pretty much all through the SATs and ACTs. When we finished, I threw, like, a 'Congratulations For Surviving' party.”

“Very you.”

“But Oscar's always been around. He's the...sarcastically witty one.” I looked back at my phone. “I just hope he's okay. Should I call him?”

“Micah, let him be. Again, probably just busy with college.”

I grumbled. “I should call him.”

Simon's already standing, moving too fast for me to hide my phone. He launched himself, falling on my legs and taking my phone. “Micah, no.”

“Give it back,” I giggled.

“Just let him be. I'll meet him when I meet him.”

I didn't know why, but the sentiment twisted my heart a little. I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him.

“What'd I do?”

“I love you.”

“I didn't do anything.”

“So? I can still love you.”

He shuffled up and kissed me. “You're the worst distraction, I hope you know that.”

“I do.”

“The worst.” He kissed me slowly. “You really have to stop.” He kissed me again.

“At this point, I'm not even doing anything.”

Simon hummed. “I don't know about that. You're still distracting me.” He stood and retreated back to the kitchen table.

“I'm just worried.”

“I know.” He took in a breath. “Micah, you learn if people want to be left alone, they'll find ways. Some obvious, some not so. Or, maybe Oscar's just busy.”

“He's never been busy, though. I just – I don't like the idea of him, like, going off on his own. That came out wrong. I don't...it doesn't make me feel good that...” I grunted and wiped my eyes. “God, it makes sense in my head, but I can't – it's just hard – ”

“Micah, you miss him. I get it.”

“Well, yeah. He's my friend.” I hummed and itched for my phone. “Anything?”

Simon looked at it and shook his head. Sighing, he stood from the table and walked back to me, offering my phone. “If you're this worked up over it, then call him.”

I took it back. Watching Simon go back to the table felt like an ocean had been put between us for some reason. I still couldn't shake the dread in my gut, and I called Oscar, though the phone just rang and rang and rang before the line disconnected.

“...he's probably just busy.”

“...yeah.” I flap my phone in my hands. “I, just, miss them all. I knew I'd miss them, but...the reality of it stinks. I wish you could've met them when they were all here.”

“I'll meet them when they come back for winter break.”

I gasped and stood. “Oh my God! I forgot about that! We – we need to plan! How do you feel about smashed burgers? Fried pickles? Chicken and waffles?”

“And you say Mr. Reynolds eats like a pregnant person.”

“Not together, you dingle.”

Simon took in a breath. “If you schedule it, I'll come, okay?”

That was my cue to aggressively start messaging in the group chat.

“ – so after that, you'd think he'd shut up about the North Star,” Harley said, tipping his milkshake just enough to not spill it toward me, “but he ended up proving me wrong because he was talking about Sirius.”

I had no idea what he just said, but I smiled. Harley could talk my ear off about the cosmos and I'd never ask him to stop. I shoved some fries into my mouth. “Glad to hear you're doing good, man.”

Fran leaned forward, grinning. “Oh, my God. Micah, college is amazing. Everyone is so smart, and they have things to fucking say.” She grunted and scooped up her burger, greasy and cheesy and absolutely perfect. “God, it's like proving another universe exists and then traveling to it.”

“Honestly, though, I've learned more from one biology class at school in fucking Florida than any class I've ever taken here.” Marie rolled her eyes. “I don't know why you decided not to go. It's an eye-opener.”

“Besides not having the money?”

“Come on, Micah. Surely you're sick of this fucking bumblefuck nothing town.”

I shook my head. “Not really.” Alabaster-by-Sea is one of the few places in the entire world that is so familiar to me, I'd know it even if I went blind. By smell, I would still feel at home. Even sitting here, with the restaurant's smell of greasy burgers and deep-frying in the kitchen, the food and milkshakes were still to die for. There's too many good memories tied to this place that I didn't want to let go of just yet. I had already made up my mind that, when I turn 21, and the Reynolds didn't want me in their house anymore, I'd stay in Alabaster-by-Sea.

“Seriously, dude. Come on.”

“I like fall here. And Simon's here, too. And summer here rocks.”

“Ah, yes,” Marie said. “Your new mystery boytoy.”

“Is he a mystery if I message you guys about him, like, all the time?” I laughed.

“You haven't even sent a picture,” Harley pointed out.

“That's hearsay,” Marie said. “We need to make sure your boytoy is cute.”

“He's my boyfriend,” I said, giggling, “and he is.”

“When are we going to meet him?” asked Fran. “He's not good enough, I'll let you know, now.”

“We need to gently roast him,” Harley added.

“You'll meet him when Michael, Georgina, and Oscar get back. I want him to meet all of you.” I glanced down and pulled out my phone. I shoved some more fries into my mouth, running my tongue over my teeth to find whatever was stuck between them. “I already told him about the time, last summer, when we went to Port Lindsay and got stuck on the Ferris wheel for 2 hours because the power went out, but I'm trying to keep the stories to a minimum – ”

“Micah?”

“What?”

“They're not coming back.”

“What?”

“Michael's doing a study abroad in Italy, Georgina's doing winter session, and Oscar isn't coming back. Full stop.”

I blinked. “That...what? Why didn't they message about it?”

Fran's eyes narrowed. “They did?”

“No, they didn't.” I showed them my phone. “The group chat's been super quiet for the last, like, month.”

Marie looked at it before humming. “Oscar got a new number, so we had to start a new group chat. Why didn't he add you?”

“Give me his number. I miss him.”

“You're so needy,” Harley teased.

“It's not my fault Oscar didn't – why didn't Oscar give me his new number?”

Fran shrugged. “I don't know. It's Oscar. He's touch-and-go.”

“That's also hearsay,” Marie pointed out. “Oscar's just dumb.”

“So why didn't he give me his new number?”

Marie shrugged. “Might've known the dude for longer than all y'all, but I don't know the guy back to front.”

Harley shot her a look.

“I mean, you can annoy sometimes, Micah.”

“Friends annoy friends,” I sneered at her. “That's what friends do.”

“No, but you, like, sometimes annoy,” Fran added, shrugging.

Harley cleared his throat. “Dude, sometimes, you can be...a little...God, what's the word for it?”

“Obsessive?” she suggested.

“No, because that would imply he's insane,” Marie said.

“He is insane.”

“I'm right here.”

Marie cracked her knuckles. “Look, all we're saying is that college is a change, and you messaging us all the time is kind of like you keeping one foot in high school, and not moving otherwise.”

“I didn't realize friendships in high school had to end when you graduated,” Harley muttered.

“I don't mean that, space nerd,” Marie said. “I meant there's a difference between messaging friends and sending 7 messages over a boy you just met with.”

“I want to keep you guys in the loop. That's how we operate.” I started picking my teeth.

“Sorry, sorry. A boy you're obsessed over.”

“I'm not obsessed. And I don't see a difference in either of those examples.”

“You messaged us when you and Tristan started dating,” Fran said.

“Yeah, but that was Tristan,” Marie said.

“Do I mean 'relentlessly positive'?” asked Harley. “Kind of, yes, but also no.”

“Micah, I say this because I love you. You've known Simon for, like, a month. That isn't love. It's infatuation.”

I stared, then smirked. My hands fell into my lap, and I start picking at my nails. It felt like I was trying to close a chasm with my bare hands. “Y-you weren't there, Fran. You didn't – we had a connection.”

“You said that about us,” said Marie.

“And we did!”

“Would you of fallen for Simon if you and Marie didn't break up?” asked Fran. “Like, she still went off to college, and you still met Simon?”

“I-I don't know.”

“Maybe 'defensive'?” Harley said.

“See, that's why I think it's just a rebound.”

“I was the one who broke up with him, remember?” Marie said.

“Are you bi, now?”

I hadn't given much thought to that. I just knew I loved Simon.

“It would explain so much,” Fran said.

“Whatever the case may be,” I said, “I want to keep you guys updated. You're all my best friends.”

“I think it's 'needy'.” Harley looked at me. “I said 'needy', but I think it's 'needy'. But I don't mean it in a bad way, Micah.”

“We're touched, but we don't keep you up-to-date on everything happening with us. I mean...Michael's, right now, in Italy.”

“But that was because you guys started a new group chat.”

Fran hummed. “I mean, to your credit, I don't think Georgina's even in that group chat.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “I don't know. Georgina's always been that kind of 'leave me alone' person.”

“You've never seen eye-to-eye with Georgina, Fran,” I pointed out, exhaustion sweeping through me, “but that doesn't mean we all can't be friends, right?”

“Is it ever exhausting balancing everyone else?” asked Marie. “Watching you do it is so exhausting.”

“Isn't that just being friends?”

Harley tapped me with his foot under the table. He rolled his eyes. “Ignore them. They don't care about your efforts like everyone else.”

“I can assure you now, Micah's efforts are polarizing.”

“Your efforts are appreciated,” Harley said.

I smiled. “Thanks, man.” He and I fist-bumped, and I ignored the dots of red tingling along the edge of my fingernails. I put a finger in my mouth before popping it out. “Now tell me more about your astronomy club.”

The moment I said that, Harley's eyes lit up like the cosmos. “Oh my God, Micah, we get access to the museum's telescopes for, like, specific weekends throughout the year. It's amazing.”

In the kitchen, something clattered hard on the floor.

I went to Simon's apartment after we left the restaurant. It was a short walk, but it felt like time slowed down before I arrived at his front door and buzzed. I messaged everyone in the new group chat, with Oscar's updated number, letting him know that I was glad to be back in the loop. It roared into life with such ferocity that it made me smirk.

The moment I got into Simon's apartment, I basically threw myself at him, holding him tight, my nose pressing into his chest. My unsettled stomach seemed to relax a little more. Something about the way Simon smelled enticed me, calmed me to a degree no amount of lavender or lemongrass could do. I held him close, and that whole conversation seemed to fade into oblivion. They'd be gone in a couple weeks. I was working that whole time, and he was working. We could have avoided them easily.

I felt terrible thinking that.

“Hey,” he said, chuckling so gently it made me dizzy. He held me back. “How was your dinner?”

“I wish you came.”

Simon grumbled at that. “You need time with your own friends,” he said. “I can't monopolize all of your time.”

“You have up to this point, and I wasn't complaining.” I looked at him and grinned.

Simon gently smirked before it fell a second later. He traced his hand around my ear and looked at me. “Are you okay? You seem...I don't know. Something's rattled you.”

“You can read me already?”

“You're already too readable, Micah. It's annoying.” He traced his thumb over my cheek.

I hummed my response into his shoulder.

“What happened?”

I looked at him and smiled. “I'm just missing them already.”