Never, even. 

His dating record involved one wrong choice after another. He had turned down at least four proposals in that time period. Sometimes it was the other person, and sometimes it was him. Every now and then, it was just a bad match on all counts. In the past, he’d randomly bring a date to the family gatherings and suffered the inquisition that always followed. But he decided to stop sacrificing random innocent people for his family’s interrogations and go alone instead. 

The problem was that he was running out of excuses. 

It’s me. I’m more scared of marriage than sex. I’m gay. I neither want a sugar daddy nor can I afford to be one. I’m terrified of commitments…as Ash went down his list of excuses from adolescence to the present day, he briefly wondered if he should just re-use one of his old alibis. When was the last time he actually dated someone again?

The image of a silver-haired fox with blue eyes fluttered to the front of his mind like a sheet of paper from a dropped file folder in the middle of a windy day. Oh, that guy. What was his name again? Dr. Something-or-other had been a university professor with the biggest ego he’d ever encountered. The more comfortable he became around Ash, the more entitled his behavior became. Ash had had enough by the time the prof demanded a fresh plate of food at a restaurant just because they forgot the truffle sauce. 

To be fair to the guy, he really was just the final person on a long list of men with abusive natures, superiority complexes, or manipulative gaslighting tendencies that Ash just happened to come across back to back. Was it bad luck? Was he just a certain “type” that those kinds of men sought out?

Was it his zip code? 

When his sister opened the door, the words tumbled out of his mouth before he thought it through.

“My paranoia’s at an all-time high, and I refuse to date anyone right now or possibly ever because after striking out so many goddamn times, I’ve become little more than a cowardly shut-in who would much rather scream off the top of a mountain somewhere to let out his loneliness-fueled frustration rather than swipe right on a dating app ever again!”

“A shut-in that also wants to be out in the mountains? And not dating when feeling lonely? Oxymoronic much?” Siena questioned with a raised eyebrow. “Seriously, when was the last time you saw a therapist, Ash?”

The man in question always wondered how Siena was one of the few family members who could not only catch everything he said but listened well enough to dissect it in seconds. Ash shrugged in response and had to force himself to keep his feet firmly on the ground rather than shuffle them in nervousness as he did back when he was a kid. Being around family also made them all regress into childhood habits, such as not sharing the remote and becoming too competitive during card games. 

That led to why he made an effort to see his family during the rare gathering; while the incessant grilling about his love life was unwelcome, the family as a whole was. Ash cared deeply for his family. He just didn’t care for their obsession with seeing him settle down with someone and, in the case of his parents, settled down with someone having adopted a grandkid or five. 

The mere thought of it made him shudder in disgust. In his defense, Ash loved kids from a distance. He helped out with his nephews and nieces over the years and earned the title of Best Uncle Ever. But, the responsibility of actually raising a kid decently? He’d rather go skydiving without a parachute.  

“Hell if I knew,” Ash finally replied candidly. “Two-three years ago?”

“Oh, Ash,” Siena responded with a mixture of concern and disappointment that caused a churn of guilt in her younger brother’s stomach. She quietly closed the door behind her and motioned Ash closer to whisper into his ear. “Maybe you should sit this gathering out before anyone else realizes you’re here.” 

“Huh? Why?” 

“Cove and his daughter are here. Dad crossed paths with them at the market, and he invited both of them over on a whim.”

Fuck. Hadn’t his bisexual ass gotten married 10 years ago and moved to another town? What the hell was he doing here? 

“Your boots are awesome, mister!” 

Ash glanced down to see the top of a double-braided head of a little girl who finally stopped looking down at his boots to meet his gaze. Her lace-trimmed dress was too long for him to notice what shoes she had on. But when she lifted her head, her mocha face lit up at what she saw. 

“Your eyes are like shiny, new pennies!” 

But, Ash’s face became pale when he saw a pair of familiar silver eyes gazing at him from a ridiculously adorable face. 

“Ashley, don’t run off like that!” 

Shit. Too late to escape. 

Ash felt the strain on his lips as he managed to form a tense smile in greeting. “C-Cove. Funny seeing you here. How’s it going, pal?”

By the confused expression on the other man’s face, Ash realized that Cove didn’t know he'd be present at the gathering, either. He should have run to his car the moment Siena warned him. Hell, he should have never gotten out of bed that morning and pretended to be too sick to make the commute. 

“Ash!” Cove responded as he gently placed a hand on the brunet’s shoulder. 

Ash immediately tensed up, sheer panic forming in his copper eyes before he could stamp down his reaction. But Cove quickly noticed his discomfort and immediately pulled back his hand. Feeling ashamed, the shorter man turned his attention back to Siena. He gave her his best SOS glance. But, she gave a slight shake of her head in refusal. 

Couldn’t she cut him some slack?

“Why don’t we head inside and grab some snacks?” Siena suggested as she boldly took hold of little Ashley’s hand and headed in first. 

“What kinds of snacks?” Ashley wondered aloud, feeling no fear as she entered a stranger’s house. While they were unknown people to her, her dad couldn’t stop talking about them. So, she trusted them by extension. 

“You heading in?” Ash urged with a tilt of his head, hoping with all his might that Cove walked past him so that he could rush to his car and get the hell outta dodge.

Cove motioned towards the door with his arm. “You first.” 

Ash narrowed his eyes as he stiffly walked through the door.  Cove knew enough about him to block his last-ditch effort of an escape plan. He was so freaking screwed.