Without hesitation, I flipped us over, gently placing Vincent on his back, then began kissing a path down the center of him chest all the way down to my destination. I kissed the area where there would normally be pubic hair, but Vincent kept his entire body hairless… And I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t the hottest fucking thing in the world. I finally took Vincent deep into my mouth, all the way down until he hit the back of my throat. After a few bobs of my head, I stealthily coated my fingers in the excess saliva dripping down his cock, before pressing two of them into his tight hole finding his sweet spot quickly.

Vincent let out a pleased gasp, “Oh god, Roy, right there!” he encouraged me as his hands tangled into my hair. He thrusted his hips up off the bed into my mouth several times. I continued my attack on his prostate, making him let out a string of moans. My favorite was when he moaned my name.

“Roy!” He cried out beautifully just as he filled my mouth with his spunk.

“Fuck,” Vincent panted, “you are so good with your mouth.” He complimented. I swallowed the gift he’s bestowed me, and smile happily from his praise. “I guess since you did so well, I’ll allow you to get off too. Use your hand and jerk off in front of me.” He smiled down at me.

“Thank you, sir.” I answered.

I excitedly kneeled up and sat back on my heals, showing him my erection that had completely busted out of the jockstrap I still had on. I slipped the fabric down my thighs, but before I could grab my dick, Vincent grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand toward him. With his eyes locked on my eye, he spit a decent amount of his saliva into my hand.

“There’s your lube.” I am not embarrassed in the slightest to say that I almost busted my load right then. That was so sexy. And it was obvious Vincent knew exactly what he’d done to me when his lips pulled back in a knowing, wicked grin. He physically took my hand and put it on my dick, “Now make yourself cum.” He ordered.

I did as I was told, and pumped my Master’s saliva coated hand up and down at a relatively quick pace. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting this to take me so long since I was feeling pretty close before I started jerking off. I was surprised that I managed to last longer than five minutes. But once I’d made it to five minutes, that’s when Vincent couldn’t handle only watching me any longer. He kneeled up in front of me and pulled me up off my heals. He pressed his newly re-erected cock against mine, and started pumping our cocks together in the grasp of both of his hand. I grabbed Vincent’s face and pulled him into searing kiss, and then our tongues collided, that was when I finally busted. My semen covered both of his hands, and as he continued to pump them to find his second release, my semen also covered his cock. It wasn’t but a few seconds later that he added to the mess. Panting, we both collapsed on to the bed until we were able to catch our breath.

“Clean up the bed, sweet boy. Then join me in the shower.” He said in a sweet tone.

“Yes sir.” I answered, kissing his cheek just before getting up.

I made quick work of stripping the dirty sheets off the bed and putting them in the washer. I joined Vincent in his somewhat too small shower, where we intimately washed each other, kissed a lot, and spent the last couple of minutes embracing each other in a loving hug. It seemed as if Vincent needed comforting, so I gave him every bit he needed.

“You okay, Vincent?” I asked in a soft tone, after a minute of hugging him.

“I’m just feeling a little all over the place emotionally.” He answered. I shut the water off and grabbed him a towel. I wrapped him up like a small child, then wrapped a towel around my hips. I picked Vincent up and caried him back to the still bare bed. And sat him down on the edge.

“I don’t know how I can make you feel better right now. But I do know one thing for sure, I will never want Dominic back. Literally nothing he says or does will make me leave you for him. It’s not like he’s some chick I got pregnant and now have a responsibility to. He’s just a bad choice I made who just happens to be clingy.” I said as I kneeled down on the floor in front of him. “He will only ever be that to me. An annoying, and clingy ex.” I figured that would be the only thing he’s worried about right now.

Vincent gave a half smile, “Roy, I’m not worried about you leaving me. I know you’re head over heels for me. What I’m worried about is him being the kind of crazy that would take this obsession too far.” Oh, I guess it made a lot of sense for him to worry about that.

“Then don’t wait for something like perfect timing. Let’s make a show of our relationship all the time. In front of everyone. I am not ashamed to be your submissive, or that you are my dominant boyfriend. I’m actually quite proud to call you mine. So let’s just be happy regardless of time or place. I mean, obviously if I’m in the middle of firefighting, you know like common sense timing.” I rambled on. Vincent simply smiled sweetly at me, so I continued on, “And when I finally start seeing a therapist –“

“Roy, you do know that seeing a therapist isn’t a cure all fix that’ll just solve everything, right? I mean, sure being able to talk to someone about your trauma will be good, and maybe they’ll be able to help you work though the past, but a therapist isn’t a magic doctor with a magic potion that’ll just make you better like it never happened. You were brutally beaten by a guy you were supposed to trust more than anyone.” He told me rather bluntly. I was taken aback by his abrasive response. I couldn’t even manage to respond. So I just stood up and walked away.

Of course I knew seeing a therapist wasn’t just going to instantaneously fix me. But the point of seeing a therapist was so that they could help me work on recovering from what happened to me. So that Vincent and I… no, so that I can learn to trust my partner with my safety again. I trust Vincent a little bit to not hurt me, but I want to be able to trust Vincent completely… the idea of truly giving my entire control up to him… to give him every ounce of undeniable trust… it terrifies me. What if I give him all my trust like I had with Charles and I end up getting hurt? I don’t think I would ever be able to recover from going through it again… I’m honestly not sure what kind of help a therapist can offer right now, but I’m willing to do everything I can so that I can give my all for Vincent.

“I’m going to go out for a walk and take some time to breathe and clear my head before we finish this conversation.” I told him. I left without waiting for an answer.

My favorite thing about the location of Vincent’s apartment was that it over looked the beach. It wasn’t like the warm sunny Florida beaches, but it was still a nice place to take a walk and think about things. I walked down to the shore line and walked parallel to the crashing waves. The water was freezing, but that never bothered me. I was far more distracted by other things.

I thought about how I could ever have the courage to tell the whole truth about what had happened to me that night. I thought about how if I ever got to the point where I was willing to try fully trusting someone, I would definitely want that person to be Vincent. Markus is my closest friend, and I trust him a lot, like with my life and all that sappy stuff… but I would never be willing to submit to him ever again. And if I give myself completely to Vincent, and that gets taken advantage of… I would be absolutely destroyed. The thought of becoming reclusive seemed slightly appealing to be honest. I’d never get hurt again. Shutting the world out was easy. I could find an online job, work from home, and never have to be involved with anyone ever again… Easy for me. But then… what about the people I care about? Markus would never stop pestering me, and he’d probably force me out of the house at least once every day. And Dan. We pester each other, but he’s like a brother to me, and a good enough friend that it would suck cutting him off. He’d probably be worried about me shutting the world out too. And Ryan. The sweet hearted guy would never just let me close myself in without constantly checking in on me. And of course Vincent…

When Vincent came to mind, the thought of closing the world off, and walking away from him actually made my heart hurt. My chest ached fiercely, and before I knew it, I had tears streaming down my cheeks. How could I ever do that to him?! He was my everything. I’ve never felt so strongly for one person before… and if I was being completely honest with myself, I didn’t feel like I had any right to feel this strongly for him. I was a poor excuse for a boyfriend, not to mention a terrible submissive partner. I lied to him and told him I trusted him, but deep down in my heart, I think knew I wasn’t able to fully trust anyone anymore. I do trust Vincent to an extent, but not the way I felt I should in the relationship we have. I wanted to be able to trust him more than I ever wanted to trust anyone else in the world, but I just couldn’t bring myself to genuinely feel that trust.

“Roy?” the sound of the last person I wanted to deal with right now broke my train of thought.