Liam had always avoided his father, kept both himself and Cailan away from his critical gaze. He was an obedient son, but never out of loyalty. He feared his father. Although Liam occasionally alluded to why, mentioned past mistreatment, Cailan had never seen things get aggressive between them in the six months he had been living with them.
Cailan didn't hear the initial discussion, but as things became heated the gist of it reached Cailan's room. Liam had announced that he wouldn't be marrying the girl his father had arranged for him. He had told his father that he would not be marrying any girl, because he had no interest in girls. Cailan wanted to clamp his hands over his ears to block out the yelling, but he needed to know what was going on.
"Don't you dare touch me!" Cailan heard Liam yell. "I'm a man now. You don't get to hit me anymore."
"You think you're a man?" Liam's father yelled back. "You're still a stupid child! If you're going to live under my roof, you will follow my rules. If you don't like that, you can marry Louise and start your own household."
"Or I can make my own way."
"How do you propose to do that? Sell that slave of yours? He's the only thing in your name worth any money."
Cailan's gut clenched painfully. He knew Liam would never do it, he'd promised many times that he would keep Cailan forever, but it still sent fear coursing through him to hear his sale suggested.
Liam's voice was too quiet for Cailan to hear what he said next, but his father's reaction made it clear enough.
"You're joining the military? Don't expect to use my name to get a good position. You'll be digging latrines and working in the mud."
"As if I want any association with your name!" Liam shouted back. "I don't want anything from you."
"Then get out."
Cailan heard the boom of the front door slamming shut behind Liam, felt it in his chest. Liam would come back for him, wouldn't he? He'd be back in the morning. He was just angry, and his father was angry, and in the morning they'd make everything okay again.
In the morning, everything was not okay. Liam was still gone, and even Aubree didn't bother to stick her head in to see if he wanted breakfast.
In everything that had happened, had everyone just forgotten Cailan existed? Maybe that was better for now. Liam had always protected Cailan from his father, and Cailan definitely didn't want to go drawing his attention when he was still angry about his son absconding. He carefully timed his trips to the bathroom for when nobody was around and kept to his room the rest of the time.
Liam had always made sure Cailan's need for affection was seen to, even when it meant having Cailan sit on the floor while he sat at his desk and weaved a hand through Cailan's hair while he studied. He'd never once denied him touch as a punishment. Cailan knew his behaviour wasn't flawless, but Liam had never seen the need to doll out anything but the occasional stern word to keep him under control.
Not being at all used to having touch withheld from him, Cailan was beginning to feel the effects by the end of the first day. Or perhaps it was simply his growing anxiety making him feel too tight inside, twisting his gut into knots.
Aubree did come by on the second morning, looked at Cailan with lips pressed into a firm line and left a bowl of plain porridge for him without comment. She'd never quite thawed to him, but as she'd realised how innocent his relationship with Liam truly was she'd started treating him less icily. All that progress was gone now. Once again, Cailan was left alone.
He ate a mouthful of porridge, and then pushed the bowl away. He wasn't hungry. The bite of food just made him feel sick.
By the third day, his fingertips had begun to tremble. Was Liam ever coming back for him? What would happen if he didn't? Would he be sold? Disposed of? Would he be expected to serve Liam's father instead? He couldn't imagine how that would work. Liam's father was only interested in women, and though Cailan was decent at cleaning he could only use his magic if someone was providing him with regular physical contact.
Cailan was curled up in his bed, hugging himself, the next time Aubree brought him food. She placed the tray on his bedside table and then turned to leave, but paused in the doorway. "He really has joined the military."
Cailan inhaled shakily. "Is he coming back for me?"
"That's all I know," Aubree said before leaving the room.
By the time a week had passed, Cailan felt like he was losing his mind. His body had a constant, gentle tremble to it, and he couldn't keep down food. The only thing occupying his mind was his need. And it certainly was a need. He knew, somewhere deep and aching, that he wouldn't survive this. Not forever.
If he'd been in any state for it he would have run away and tried to find Liam, as suicidal as that was. He had a tracking chip in him and runaways were punished harshly, often fatally, but perhaps if Liam had insisted he not be harmed... Anyway, it was out of the question now. He couldn't even walk in a straight line.
The only other solution he could think of was to find someone else. Anyone else. He would have gone to Liam's father, submitted and offered himself, if he'd thought there was any chance of appealing to him. Liam's mother was a quiet woman who kept to herself, but Cailan had noticed how she looked at him when their paths had happened to cross. Disgust. The same way she looked at Aris, the female slave Liam's father kept. Liam had noticed it too and kept them well apart.
Cailan chewed at his normally carefully manicured fingernails until he tasted blood, though he didn't feel any pain. Who else was there? Aris, of course, who as a fellow slave might even be sympathetic, but she kept mostly to Liam's father's rooms. If they were caught together they'd both be punished.
In the end, the only member of the household Cailan had any kind of bond with was Aubree. She was his only hope.
Maybe if Cailan had been able to find the words to explain himself, to verbalise his need, things wouldn't have gone so badly. If his quest for comfort didn't end up seeming so much like an attack, she might not have struggled and screeched and shoved him off. She might not have left him alone in the room once again.
It could have been ten minutes or an hour before the door opened again and Cailan heard the sound of heavy footsteps. Time seemed to alternate between dragging out interminably and disappearing in chunks when he wasn't paying attention. Cailan uncurled himself and looked up to see eyes the same colour as Liam's staring down at him.
He knew this man was not Liam, not the master he loved. Knew this man was dangerous, but he reached for him without hesitation anyway. Liam's father shoved his seeking hands away and hauled him up by his arm.
"You will not be accosting any member of my household again," Liam's father said as he grabbed hold of Cailan's other arm as well to control his desperate squirming. There was no affection in the touch, but it still held the very edge of what Cailan needed.
Liam's father was a solidly built man in decent shape and Cailan was tiny, but he still struggled to contain Cailan as he dragged him from the room and down the hall. He paused to slap Cailan hard across the cheek, but it didn't deter Cailan from trying to use his freed arm to hug him. The pain barely even registered. When they reached Liam's room, Liam's father tossed Cailan in and slammed the door shut behind him. Cailan heard the lock click into place.
Cailan rattled the knob and pressed himself against the door, whimpering in his desperation to be touched again. Liam's father didn't speak until Cailan had slumped defeated and silent against the door.
"In three weeks, if Liam has not come to reclaim you, you're considered abandoned and legally become my property," Liam's father said through the door. "I've stocked the room with enough biscuits and dried fruit to last you until then, and Liam has an attached bathroom for water and toileting."
"I'll die," Cailan groaned, though he wasn't sure whether or not that was true. He certainly felt like he would.
There was a pause, and then, "That's not my problem."
Cailan let his anguish out in a sorrowful howl as footsteps retreated, all training forgotten. His whole self had been reduced to nothing more than a need.
He dragged himself across the floor and pulled himself up onto Liam's bed, crawling under the covers and burying his face in Liam's pillow. It still smelled of him. That only made the ache settle heavier, but Cailan couldn't keep himself from taking deep, gulping breaths of it anyway.
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