-REINCARNATION COUNTDOWN- 25

For the last couple of days, I have been wandering around my neighborhood during the day and returning to my garden at night. I haven't noticed this before, but there are a lot of people my age that hang out in the streets all the time. I wonder why I haven't noticed or heard them. In a way, it was torture and having mercy on myself. If I stayed home, I would've seen Lenni2 be happy with my parents. Being away and walking around did mess with my anxiety. The different kinds of spirits and people I saw were different, but all the same, it would be better than having a shattering heart.

When I am around the neighborhood, I would catch glimpses of my parents' car leaving and entering the driveway. Lenni2 would sometimes be in the back seat. I wonder where they are taking her, but then again, I shouldn't think about it. It's not my life anymore. Literally. Putting the out-of-sight, out-of-mind life lesson into play. I think we all can relate, that sometimes when something hurts us, we need to ignore it for the better of our mentality or our hearts. Even though we are choosing to ignore it, it still lingers on and hurts.

I am sitting in the middle of the street, watching people walk around me. Surprisingly, it was satisfying to sit here without anyone noticing me. I think I feel relieved that this happened to me, becoming a spirit. I can finally experience the outside world without restrictions from my parents. I think I mentioned before that my parents only let me go to school and back home. May I remind you, they are overly protective? I took private lessons at school, had lunches by myself, and when it came time for pick-up, I left 30 minutes earlier than everyone else. There were times when I would still get anxiety attacks, with these precautions and my Dad would ask Mom to let me be homeschooled. I think my Mom wanted to, but she told Dad and me that the only way to overcome anything is to put yourself in the environment. I also think she wanted me to experience regular school. I admit that being in unfamiliar areas is frightening to me but with not having to socialize I think I am doing great! I looked at my house down the road. "I wish I could've made more progress like this when I was alive." I thought.

The sun was starting to set and I was making my way back to the garden when I noticed that the curtains in front of the house has shifted. I was going to ignore it and kept walking to the backyard but something made me feel uneasy so, I decided to investigate. I walked through the walls which led to the living room. The tv was on, but no one was in the room. I heard laughter coming from upstairs, it sounded like my Mom. I walked towards the stairs and there she was, hugging Lenni2 at the top of the stairs. "I will see you later sweetie." She says as she places a kiss on Lenni2s forehead. I felt my heartbreak, I knew I should've stayed away. It's not moms fault, I know that, but that doesn't mean it won't sting. Mom broke the hug and started her way downstairs. I turned to leave to go back to the garden when I heard a shrieking noise come from Lenni2. "Mom!" she cries out. I spun back around towards them and for a split second my mother and I were to each other's noses, I instinctively tried to catch her but I forgot, I couldn't. Mom ended up falling down the entire flight of stairs. Chills went down my spine, I was terrified at the thought that this could've killed her and in a few seconds, I would see her spirit rise from her corpse. I didn't know what to think but assume the worse because my mom was on the floor face down. Mom didn't move for what felt like forever but my eyes were aimed at Lenni2. I was too far to tell but it looked like she was smirking from afar.