Now

Ivy was trying not to get too lost in herself – in the joy that started to feel very short lived. Something in Chastity's demeanour had changed right after they had left their small horny bubble and she was starting to believe she'd gone and done something ridiculous.

Had it been the pegging stuff? She was only half serious about it. It was not like it was a do all end all kind of situation. If she could go back, she would and shut herself up before she said anything. Why had she suggested pegging?

Then again, they had been in the moment. Things were usually said in the moment. She just hadn't accounted for the fact that her fantasies could sometimes scare other people off case in point, Chastity.

Ivy had tried not to think about it. Tried not to have her pessimism get the best of her but as the day came to a much needed end and Chastity asked if she could just go home by herself because she mysteriously had plans, cold feet become of her. She hadn't even spared her a glance as she excused herself and followed after fucking Brent.

This in turn made her snippy with anyone who had dared talk to her. She was so explosive she'd done the undoable – scared a matatu conductor. By the time she got home, her blood was boiling and mental Chastity was at a corner, apologizing for what she had done.

"Look at you." Ivy sighed. She had forgotten Pendo was rooming with her. "Being the sugar mummy I never knew I needed. Do you know I don't feel weird that my little sister is bailing me out? I'm reaching new heights of zen, mind I still think it's a thoroughly daft concept." She looked up from her laptop, a smile wide on her face. It dropped immediately. "Why do you look like you want to commit murder?"

Ivy carefully removed her black pumps and slid on some house slippers, trying and failing for permanent stoicism in her own house. "I think I did something stupid and now it's coming to bite me and I have no idea how to help myself."

Pendo pushed her laptop away and sat upright. "What happened?"

In all of Ivy's life, she understood one thing of her older sister; when she gave you her full attention, you took it and never questioned it. It was rare to have Pendo focus on any one thing and when she did, whoever received it felt like they were watching a comet fly by. It was one of those things that was so rare you savoured it.

She plopped herself on the love seat and stared at her hands. It was then or never, she realized as she said, "I am sleeping with Chastity." Pendo was quiet, clearly waiting for more. "And now I think she wants nothing to do with me or at least it kind of feels like that. There is a slight possibility that I am being paranoid plus there is fucking Brent and I don't know what his deal is."

"This sound deliciously dramatic." Ivy snorted as Pendo pulled her feet under her. "How long have you been sleeping together and who even is Brent? Don't take your time. Give me a proper summary."

Ivy gave her the most proper summary she could master under such short notice. She'd been proud of just how well she'd done it.

"So Brent is gay—"

"Queer."

"And has a boyfriend who has been a bit of an asshole to him so somewhere in your mind you decided he has fallen in love with Chastity and that she feels the exact same way because their mums want them to be together?"

"Don't make me sound stupid," Ivy snapped.

Pendo shrugged. "I'm not doing anything. You are stupid. Taking into account your weird feelings about Brent and everything else I have forgotten, you thought it was a bright idea to sleep with the woman you've been in love with since forever and put a time stamp to the whole situation? Why do you sound messier than me and I'm the one who burnt down a school church?"

"What?" Ivy's eyes widened but Pendo brushed her off.

"I was told once that people make stupid mistakes because they forget to be the main character and reach out for the side character behaviour and end up doing all the wrong things."

Ivy got to her feet, dragging herself to the kitchen. "I cannot even pretend to understand your logic right now." She freed a bottle of wine from the cupboard and brought it to the sitting room with some teacups. "I'm guessing I'm the main character that's forgotten their part in this situation?"

"From your telenovela, anyone of you could be that." Ivy poured a healthy amount of the red into both cups and handed one to her sister. "What I don't get though is why you are sure she doesn't want anything to do with you. What exactly happened there?"

Ivy was not so open as to share she'd fucked her friend in some washrooms at work. "I said something out of pocket during lunch break and she became weird after."

"Mmh." Pendo looked thoughtfully at her. "Do I want to know what it was?"

"Completely none of your business."

"I now really want to know."

"No."

"Fine. If you don't want to share it, talk to her about it. Knowing you, that probably didn't cross your mind."

Ivy snorted. "I was starting to think you were on the turn to becoming civil."

"Don't ever disrespect me like that again."

"Enough about me," Ivy pulled herself as comfortably as she could into the seat, trying to ignore the fact that she still had office clothes on, "what exactly happened back home?"

The little glimmer of happiness on her face vanished as she downed her wine and added some more. "Just the usual. Mum didn't like that I still don't want to go back to school and dad didn't say anything."

"So she kicked you out? Just because you don't want to do her stuff?"

Pendo had the grace to look slightly sheepish. "They didn't kick me out. I left and mum said never to come back so maybe they did kick me out. I don't know." She finished her second cup just as quickly. "Look at me, having a mid-life crisis one month away from my thirty first. To think I was voted most likely to succeed." She finished in a sour tone. "You though, you have the chance to get your shit together."

"And you don't?"

"You have a career."

"As did you."

"You are in your twenties."

"Literally two years older than me."

Pendo groaned. "I am the firstborn and I am allowed to give you advice so that you don't end up like me. So listen!"

"I'll listen when you stop whining," Ivy countered adding wine into her tea cup. "Anything before then if null and void. Childish some might argue."

"I am not above laxatives in your food out of sheer annoyance."

"Itching powder is my lover at this point."

Pendo laughed. She had a brilliant laugh when she was not guarded or being her usual gloomy self. "Go change. You smell like work. I'm thinking by the time you are done you might have mastered some courage to speak to Chastity and get your bullshit sorted out. I don't want a crying woman in this house. Ambience is everything."

Ivy flipped her one but left. She was feeling better about talking to Chastity already.

*

After a hearty meal of Ugali and matumbo, that Pendo insisted was never going to happen again, Ivy texted Chastity. Something simple, sweet and straight to the point.

What's your secret?

It was an hour later when Chastity replied.

I kind of want to stop.

Ivy felt her stomach drop. Her palms shook as she sent a reply.

Stop what exactly?

As though she didn't fucking already know but she wanted to make sure she was gutting herself for all the right reasons.

The one month situation.

Just like that. That was all it took for Chastity to crush her heart which was all sorts of hilarious because it was going to end either way. She was going to cry about it and pretend everything was fine and that she was never going to pine after her openly ever again.

That's okay. You mind telling me why you want that?

She was very pleased with how she sounded so civil in her texting.

I don't even know if I want to tell myself why I want that. Can we talk about it tomorrow at lunch?

Sure.

Ivy tried for sleep but her eyes kept on stingging until they poured an ever flowing stream of tears.

Author's Note

Seriously considering writing Pendo's story after I am done with this one.