The words that had come from Louis' mouth hung in the air, suspended between the two new friends. It didn't feel real to Louis. Nothing in this moment felt real to him. The words had slipped from Louis' mouth, and he wasn't sure if he regretted them or not.
He had, in a way, opened up to someone. This was the first step to letting someone in, and Louis didn't know if he was ready for it. But these last few days had taken a heavy toll on him. They had broken him down, and he wasn't sure why. He'd been trying to keep his head above water for so long that it was like he'd forgotten to breathe. And as much as it pained him to admit it, it felt good to let some air in again.
"Louis..." Sarah's voice seemed to echo inside Louis' head. It seemed distant; so far away.
It was like he couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from, even though she sat right beside him. Louis kept his eyes trained on Sarah, and she sat staring right back with the same concern and worry she had worn on her face before. The same look he was used to getting from all of his friends. As Louis continued to look into Sarah's eyes, he noticed it wasn't only concern and worry in there. There was something else, but he couldn't quite tell what it was.
"Sarah, I just..." Louis began speaking but trailed off, not sure what to say.
He hated being so vulnerable. He hated feeling so lost. Lost for words. Lost from everything. He was tired, and he wanted to find his way home again. The only problem was that he didn't know where home was. Not anymore.
"You don't need to talk to me about it, Louis," Sarah whispered. "I'm not going to force you to open up. I'm glad you want to, though."
Her voice was so calming and had a lot of the same qualities that Isaac's voice had. Louis felt a smile tug at his lips.
"Thank you, Sarah." The words trickled from his mouth before he even realised it, and he felt Sarah pull him in for another hug.
"Any time. Just know that there are people who care about you, Lou," she whispered into his ear. "You're not alone. Not anymore."
"Louis!" Another familiar voice came.
He had no idea how long they had been sitting there. It had been a while, for when he pulled away from Sarah's embrace and looked up, it was already getting darker. Louis turned to see who had called his name, though he didn't need to. He already knew who the voice belonged to.
"Sam." Louis sighed.
"Are you alright?" Sam slipped out of his parked car and rushed over to the bench where Louis and Sarah sat. "I heard what happened in the halls, and there's a rumour going around that you're expelled!"
"I'm not expelled," Louis said, before quietly adding, "yet."
"Louis, I'm so sorry I wasn't there!" Sam knelt in front of the bench and placed his head in his hands. "I said I was going to go to the library with you, but I got caught up. I'm sorry!"
"It's fine, Sam. There's nothing you could've done," Louis muttered. "It wasn't the fight that got me into the most trouble."
"I swear, I'm gonna kick someone's ass—" Sam started, but Louis cut him off.
"Sam, don't. Don't worry about that. I don't need you getting in trouble because of me. Can we just... can I come to your house?" Louis asked as Sam looked up at him, sympathy in his eyes.
"Yeah, of course." He turned to Sarah, questioningly looking at her.
"Oh, thanks, but no. I can't," she said, suddenly standing up. "I would, but I'm already late for something and should really get going. I can't miss it."
Louis also stood up and pulled her into a hug, not being able to stop the ebbing feeling that something was wrong.
"Thanks again, Sarah."
"Don't mention it." She gave a small smile as she pulled away and gave a small wave to Sam. "I'll see you on Friday!"
With that, she turned on her heel and started on her way to wherever she was going before Louis or Sam could say anything.
"Friday?" Sam asked in a mumble.
"I wonder why she's missing a day of school," Louis added, gently wiping his eyes.
"No idea. Come on; let's go." Sam stood up and lightly placed his hand on Louis' shoulder, guiding him to the car. "I'm glad Sarah was here."
"Me, too," Louis agreed, pulling his thoughts away from Sarah missing school.
A small smile tugged at Louis' lips. The same smile that he couldn't seem to get rid of the night before.
"Do you want to go straight to my house or somewhere else first?" Sam asked as they slipped into his car.
"Straight to yours, if that's alright."
Sam looked at Louis again, concern still in his eyes. Louis knew that he wasn't used to seeing him like this. Defenceless and lost. It must've scared him. Louis rarely let anything get to him. He was always so resilient. Always keeping his guard up. But Louis could tell that Sam had started to see him crack and fall apart.
It has been happening for a few weeks now. Every day that Sam saw Louis, his face seemed more and more drained, and the circles under his eyes were getting darker. It was as if he wasn't sleeping at all anymore, and it worried Sam. Louis knew that. He knew that Sam just wanted to help. That's all he ever wanted to do. Ever since the first day he had met Louis. He just wanted to help. But at this moment, there was nothing that could be done to help. All Sam could do was watch his best friend drown.
Louis could see Sam steal glances at him for the entire drive. He was extremely grateful that Sam didn't try to start a conversation and that the car trip wasn't very long. Sam didn't live very far away from Louis. Louis' house was on the way to Sam's house, which was only another five-minute drive further along. That's one of the reasons that he let Sam drive him home after school; he wasn't going out of his way to do so.
Louis and Sam just sat quietly in the car, and Louis stared at the large house that sat before him. Sam's parents were by no means rich, but they did live a comfortable lifestyle. Their house was large and always seemed to be kept clean. The front lawn was pristine, and path dotted its way through it, straight to the front door.
Louis had envied Sam and his family from the moment he was introduced to them. They seemed picture perfect. Sam's parents were still married, and happily so. He had a brother and a sister, too. His sister was only a little older than him, and his brother had just turned five the other month. They were always happy, and they always welcomed Louis with open arms. Sam's house had become what Kara's house had been when she lived close. A safe place. A second home.
Louis broke away from his thoughts when the passenger door was pulled open. He looked over and saw Sam standing there, looking at him gently.
"Come on, Lou."
Louis nodded, unbuckling his seatbelt and sliding out of the car. His feet hit the pavement of the driveway, and it felt as though he was carrying ten-ton weights on his shoulders. His whole body felt heavy, and Sam must have noticed as he swept in, wrapping one of his arms around Louis' waist to hold him up.
"I think you need sleep," Sam muttered before carefully guiding Louis across the lawn and up to the house.
I am really tired, Louis found himself thinking as they approached the door.
Sam swiftly pushed it open and walked them inside.
"Oh, Sam, honey, you're home!" A pleasant voice floated effortlessly through the front hall as Sam's mum, Kate, watched them. "And Louis! It's good to see you..." her words faltered after taking a closer look at Louis.
"Not now, Mum," Sam said. Kate nodded and gave a kind smile as she disappeared out of the hall.
As Sam and Louis headed towards the stairs that led up to Sam's room, Louis heard some whispers coming from the room Kate had just walked into.
"But, Mum, I wanna see Lou-Lou!" a small voice cried out, and smile played on Louis' lips.
Jay, Sam's little brother, was always adorable and seemed to take a liking to Louis almost instantly. Louis had always wanted a little brother, and it seemed he got one when he became friends with Sam.
"Not right now, sweetie." Kate's voice was barely audible. "Maybe later, okay?"
Jay must have given a silent answer, as Louis didn't hear any more voices after that, and before he knew it, he and Sam were at the top of the stairs.
"You know where my room is," Sam said, gesturing towards the door at the end of the landing. "Get some sleep. I have some stuff to do."
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