justify your shouts when i bite myself bloody

baring my soul to a faceless crowd

being so silent

so mutedly loud.

when will the copper leave my gaze

hostility soaks the atmosphere

anger you could taste

emotions ignored in the light of the day

crying on my shoulder

we escape

driving past 50 down memory lane.

you only look when i cry or swear

you stop hearing when i'm livid

this isn't how i wanted to be living

put my thoughts in a box, with a little red ribbon.

people pleasing shell of man

i could speak a million words

you can choose which ones you heard

picking cherries

orchard vocabulary

too meek to fight, too strong to cry.

i held my idol as he cried

beheld the hurt and shattered pride

from dissmissive phrases

and empty promises

"we'll get you help"

words as weak as his bones.

bone-deep cycles, perpetuated

hands on hips, hits dealt to children

you love me you love me you love me enough

that i flinch when i'm being berated.

every thing you did and do

with promises of love

i could fill the space between that and the truth

with i'm sorry disguised as

i love you

i love you

i love you.