Not knowing what he would do about his present circumstances, Han walked into his room, hoping to gain a moment of peace while he gathered his thoughts.

His eyes looked at the posters decorating his walls, reflecting on the memories of how he attained them. From his memories, he could hear the voices from those moments from long ago -- never to be experienced again. Han then looked at his table with his computer resting on top of the stained wood, a thin layer of dust covering everything. Next to the computer were several books stacked on top of one another, their spines damaged, a loose page slightly sticking out of one of the books.

Han sighed as he crossed the room before reaching his computer chair, the seat fabric tattered with the yellow foam seen in places.

Taking a seat, Han looked at the dusty monitor -- seeing his disheveled hair and half-open eyes. His body felt heavy as he reached for the mouse.

Soon, the sound of the fan shattered the silence.

A few moments passed as the monitor slowly lit up, and he could see all his programs. The background image made him smile slightly upon seeing the picture of something he had made in the past.

Pulling up one of the browsers, Han typed in the words to bring up the video.

His mind slowly drifted back to that moment.

-------------------

Taking a breath, Han rested his head against the door to his apartment. His mind filled with images that tore away at his soul, draining him of his strength. Closing his eyes, he tried to gather himself together, not wanting to allow the pain to show.

The last thing he wanted was to show the pain and weakness he felt.

Though his home was a place he felt welcomed and loved, he just needed the time to digest the day's events before letting them filter out. The idea of dumping all his emotions wasn't an idea he enjoyed.

Her words echoed in his mind.

"The least I can do is actually be more of a man," Han whispered to himself as he clenched his fist -- pressing it against the door.

A dull pain slowly grew as he pressed his fist harder into the door, gritting his teeth to prevent the tears from flowing out of him like a monsoon.

But despite the pain, the feelings of loneliness didn't leave him.

After a minute had passed, Han took a deep shuddering breath before slowly letting it out. His mind regained some semblance of sanity.

With his head still resting on the cold wooden white door,  he reached into his pocket, pulling out his keys. Slowly opening his eyes, he saw the picture dangling from a chain. Seeing her smile, Han couldn't help but remember that day. The feelings of joy and knowledge that someone in the world aside from his family cherished him -- despite his inadequacies -- helped to soothe his heart which felt crushed and trampled on.

The keys clinked as Han fumbled with them before finding his apartment key. Like thousands of times before, becoming muscle memory, the key slid into the lock. Unlocking it, he turned to doorhandle before pushing to open it.

He raised an eyebrow when the door failed to open, signaling the deadbolt had been used. Though it was unusual since they rarely used it, Han merely shrugged his shoulders before finding the key to the lock. Using the deadbolt was weird, but he imagined her not realizing that she had locked it.

Compared to what happened, finding that the deadbolt had been used wasn't something that even registered. Han took a breath to hold the emotions back before fumbling with his key again.

Han chuckled to himself, thinking how he would use the moment to tease her. The image of her sticking her tongue out cutely before laughing as he tickled her came to mind.

It only took a moment before he heard the bolt slide back and the audible click as he turned the key -- the sound echoing due to how little they used it.

Slowly opening the door, Han prepared to enter but stopped due to something being off about his home, his sanctuary.

He didn't know what caused him to pause or feel unease, but it was as if the home made him feel unwelcomed -- a strangeness that permeated through the air and clung to the walls. None of the usual warmth felt in the past upon arriving home was felt.

For the first time, Han felt like a stranger.

While trying to grasp the illusive thought, Han's eyes caught sight of something he didn't expect. Near the door, where they usually placed their footwear before entering, Han furrowed his brow upon noticing an extra pair of leather dress shoes haphazardly tossed near the entrance next to red stilettos.

They were the same red stilettos he purchased as an anniversary gift. He remembered how she claimed they made her legs look longer and her backside curvier. And laughing about how guys likely thought she was a high-end escort when she had them on -- teasing him if he'd feel jealous about her being lustfully stared at by other men. 

The way the stilettos lay on the wooden floor without care gave the impression of her being in a hurry.

He stared at the pair of shoes, knowing how much she treasured them, having even gone so far as to find someone to freshen them up to look new just last week. She had spent hours on her phone, searching for someone with great reviews, worried the cobbler would mess them up.

Following the stilettos, his eyes landed on the red dress -- another gift from him.

Han got her the dress due to the plunging neckline and thought it complimented the shape of her voluptuous body. It was a gift he had saved far earlier than the special occasion it would be presented on due to a sale he took advantage of at her favorite clothing store.

The discarded red dress was next to a dark blue designer jacket with a luxury blue tie resting on top, subconsciously sparking memories and causing his stomach to sink in response to them.

Closer to his bedroom were a dress shirt, belt, trousers, and socks.

Han's mind felt like it was in a fog as he tried to piece together what he was seeing in front of him. Though he would consider himself to be intelligent, his mind felt as though it was clumsy. Instead, it presented him with mundane scenarios to explain what happened.

Instead of taking off his shoes, something his mother would have yelled at him for on top of the cultural reflex developed over his childhood years, Han stepped on the wooden floor without care of dirtying it.

Han reflexively was careful to not make any sound as he made his way through his home -- a place that now felt alien to him.

He felt like a zombie, numbly following each article of clothing as if he had found himself in a nightmare, unable to stop until he woke up. Outside his bedroom was the red designer lingerie that was only worn to mark special days due to how it made him grin.

A memory floated to the surface, candles lit and casting their defused light on the walls. She leaned against one of the hallway walls leading to their bedroom, her large breasts lifted by the red-laced bra. It was matched with a red-laced thong. On her face was a seductive smile as she used one hand to lift up her long blonde hair.

Han remembered tracing her body with his eyes, enjoying every part of her, and being eager to see what would come next. He couldn't help but imagine himself being in an adult video with how she oozed sexuality. 

Brought back to the present, the world felt cold and devoid of life as he desperately fought through the fog in his mind. Like a man frantically grabbing at anything as he slid toward a cliff, his brain offered irrational scenarios.

Han could feel his heart pounding in his chest slightly faster as his world felt like it was crumbling apart. His heart had already reached a conclusion before his brain did.

The closer Han approached his bedroom, he felt a sharp pain as cracks began to form in his heart.

Penetrating through the fog were the moans and squeaking of the bed.

Han gritted his teeth as he heard a familiar voice repeatedly beg to be taken. The same voice that told reassuring words when he first received the horrific news. The same voice that told him how much he was cherished and loved.

He could now hear that voice telling someone else how much of a loser she thought he was, how he never would amount to anything in life, how she deserved someone better.

It wasn't long until he could see inside the bedroom, the door wide open -- displaying his worst nightmares.

As Han stood at the entrance to a room where so many precious memories and plans for the future were made, his heart shattered upon seeing the love of his life mindlessly ride on top of his best friend like some beast in carnal heat as though nothing else in the world matter at that moment.

Noticing the shadow pass over the two of them, his best friend moved his head to see past Han’s girlfriend — startled to witness Han’s lone figure.

“Oh crap!” Sam called out.

Curious about what Sam was reacting to, Han's soon-to-be ex-girlfriend nonchalantly glanced behind her — her body only slightly slowing as she repeatedly plunged Sam inside of her as though unable to deny herself the desperately needed pleasure.

Her eyes slowly look to see Han standing in the doorway. Unable to recognize who she was looking at, her brows became furrowed. They then gradually raised as recognition slowly dawned on her, replayed with confusion. Her eyes soon widened in panic and alarm. Finally, her expression was replaced with guilt and horror upon realizing what was happening.

Standing at the doorway to his own room, Han didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Though he had watched such scenes in various TV shows, movies, and adult content — his mind became blank and devoid of thought.

Everything felt empty, hollow, and devoid of any meaning.

“Now, this is how those people felt,” Han remembered some hentai with a similar storyline.

Han would've felt his situation ironic if it was any other time. But at that moment, it didn't feel as though he was dealing with reality -- his body felt numb. 

Han mutely watched his ex-girlfriend frantically put on clothes. It was as though she were attempting to erase reality. Her hands ripped open the drawers of the nearby dresser, whipping out a t-shirt without a thought about whether it was appropriate or not.

She desperately threaded her arm through the sleeves and pushed her head through the top. Her emotional state was shown by how she didn't even bother lifting her hair from under the shirt.

“The funeral was well done.” Han felt as though he were giving an update to his superiors at the company he worked at, the type no one bothered to read. As though on autopilot, Han continued, “I’m glad that my older brother could put everything together. I don’t think I could have arranged my parent’s funeral.”

Beth raised her hands to cover her mouth as she listened to the robotic voice as Han talked about his parent's funeral. Tears began trailing down her face. Her eyes were unable to tear themselves away.

With a weary smile, “I’m glad you’re feeling better and don’t have a stomachache.” Han casually mentioned.

Surprisingly, a portion of Han was happy to learn that Beth was okay. Despite the death of his parents, a part of his thoughts was on Beth -- hoping that she was getting better. He had even sent a few texts to check up on her but assumed that Beth was asleep when she didn't respond.

“Han… I — I can explain this.” Beth stammered, walking towards him as she waved an arm towards the bed where Sam lay -- denying the reality of the situation, desperate to fix her mistake.

Seeing her walking towards him and glancing at Sam, Han said, “I’m going out to get some food.” He looked to Beth and then to Sam. “If you could, I would greatly appreciate it if both of you were gone before I get back.” Slowly glancing to where Beth stood, “You can take as much of your stuff as possible but make sure to leave your keys behind. Since your name isn’t on the lease, you don’t need to worry about this month’s rent. I hope you can be happy with Sam." Han stood in the doorway for a few minutes, not caring what the two thought before saying, "Don’t try to contact me.”