Chapter 2

It’s thoroughly odd, suddenly being 11 years younger. And also a boy. And also a prince. And also still remembering how you died.

At least I have Hector’s memories now, too. I’ve come to love his parents and little sister, and I know how to act like Hector. I mess up a few times, saying things that apparently Hector would never dream of saying (such as swearing), but on the whole…everyone is just so glad that the prince miraculously recovered.

It’s not too long, unfortunately, before the scars get found out about. I counted them myself, that first night, and they total to eight. Eight. My ex boyfriend stabbed me eight times. He cheated, stalked and finally murdered me. 

What a piece of shit.

When Hector’s mother found out about the scars…she was horrified. Obviously. I mean her son was unconscious so how the fuck did the scars even appear? Some members of staff got fired, but no one really knows how I got them, and even I’m confused as to how they materialised on Hector’s body. 

What I’ve gathered though, is that I’m not going back to my old life. Obviously, because my body is dead, but…that weird life spirit talks to me, sometimes. And it tries to explain things about this world, but I’ve already been living as Hector for several months and I’m still confused. So I’m just taking things as they come, and not mentioning things like phones or cars or actual decent healthcare.

I’m worried about Rachel, to be honest. I just hope that she’s safe, and happy. We met at university and became firm friends…I’ll miss her. But, it is nice having a loving family. It’s so odd to me, how Hector’s parents call him nice pet names and just generally show that they care about me. Even if I’m not their Hector.

The most I can do to protect their feelings is keep the truth from them. They don’t need to know that their son died and I’m now in his body…that would just upset them and complicate everything else.

And like that, three years pass happily.

Hector’s body is now 18, and honestly? Hector’s family is starting to feel like my family. Like I belong with them. Like I can share them with Hector. Like I’m no longer just a placeholder for their son, but that I am their son.

That was really odd.

Being a son.

Being a prince.

Surprisingly, I don’t hate being called Hector and being treated as a boy - living as a boy. I don’t feel discomfort in his body or anything…I just slightly miss being feminine. I miss having long hair and wearing dresses and things like that. But I also love being seen as a boy.

It’s confusing, so I try not to think too much about it.

Hector is a boy, and therefore I have to live as a boy.

Even if I wish I could grow out my hair and try on one of my mother’s dresses, just one time.

“Hector? Apparently Father has something important to talk to you about,” Lisette, my younger sister, says softly. She is the spitting image of our father; soft blonde hair and warm brown eyes. Mother and I share looks, but Hector didn’t receive much in terms of visual genetics from the king. 

“Thank you, Lis,” I smile, touching her shoulder gently. She giggles, playing with her hair slightly. “You should be quick, I heard it’s very exciting news.”

Raising an eyebrow, I follow my sister to our father’s private office. “Hector! Thank you for fetching him, Lisette, my sweet. I think your mother wanted you for something,” he says gently. Lisette winks at me before leaving the room, leaving me more confused.

“Take a seat, my dear son. I have some rather exciting news,” Father says warmly, gesturing to the leather chair in front of his desk.

I still don’t really like leather - it was one of the last sensations I ever felt before dying, thanks to Jack’s leather gloves.

“Do you remember Princess Agnaria? You two were the best of friends as children.”

Searching through Hector’s memories, I find something about a princess - apparently Hector was smitten with her, but based on the memories…she’s kind of creepy. 

“Yes, Father.”

“Well…” he fades off, smiling broadly at me. “How would you like to marry her? It wouldn’t be until she turns 25, so there’s still quite a lot of time. But, her father has reached out, hoping to join our two countries through matrimony.”

Oh Jesus Christ. No thank you.

“I…don’t know what to say,” I choose carefully, knowing exactly what I want to say. There’s nothing really wrong with her, but I’m (one) not into women (two) a reincarnation and (three) she’s creepy. In all Hector’s memories of her, she’s getting him to play with her by threatening weird shit and just generally being odd…the memories are hazy and aren’t even mine, but I’m just extra suspicious of people after being. You know. Stalked and murdered.

“Say yes! It would be wonderful for us, obviously, but most importantly it would make you happy! You know I’ll do whatever you want, Hector. I just want you and Lisette to be happy,” Father says softly, clasping his hands together.

“I…I don’t want to get married,” I say truthfully, really hoping that everything I’ve seen of this man in the past three years and in Hector’s memories, is accurate. I really hope he is as kind and wonderful as he seems.

His eyes soften and he smiles. “Alright then. I will need to give King Luelis some kind of reason why, though. Do you have a reason for refusing?”

Many, actually.

“I don’t like women,” I declare flatly. I really hope I don’t get chucked out of the castle for this, but there really is no better reason for not wanting to marry a princess, than being gay. Even though I’m not really gay. It’s…confusing. 

I like men, I’ve always known that. Now, I like men, but I’m in a man’s body. But I’m a woman, in a man’s body.

Am I? 

Then why do I feel so comfortable in a man’s body?

It’s too confusing.

“Oh,” the King says a little uneasily, but his smile quickly reappears. “I see. Thank you for being honest with me, Hector. Of course you don’t have to marry Agnaria. Is there…is there someone you like?” He asks tentatively, but I quickly shake my head. There’s no way in hell I’ll be able to trust someone again, after Jack.

“No, there’s no one. I don’t think I want a relationship - I’m happy so long as I have you, Lisette, and Mother.” I give him one of my award-winning smiles, hoping to get out of this conversation. As understanding as Father has been, there’s some things that he will just never get about me.

He smiles brightly back at me, reaching across his desk to squeeze my hand. “Of course, son. Family is more fulfilling than anything else.”

Probably hence why he wanted me to start my own one, with Agnaria. 

But that will never happen.