Chapter 14

-Tevic-

Ven holds me until I stop crying, when I pull away from him and wipe my face. “I’m sorry you had to see all that,” I say embarrassedly, covering my face so that I can avoid looking at the Lord for slightly longer. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, instead he just touches my shoulder gently. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Tevic. There’s nothing wrong with expressing your emotions.”

Ven’s words warm my heart in a way that I don’t want them to, so I quickly say something that I’m hoping will make him not like me. “That’s ironic coming from you: you don’t exactly go around crying on other people; you don’t show a lot of emotion at all, actually.”

The Lord just shrugs, not looking bothered at all by my words. “This is true. Unfortunately, my emotions have all been rather muted, for this past decade since I was betrayed. All I really feel strongly is anger, but being angry isn’t a nice feeling.”

Frowning slightly, I finally meet his eyes. “Then what would you like to experience? What emotions are you looking to feel again?”

Silence ripples between us for a moment, before Ven sighs, touching the scar over his right eye. “I suppose what I really want is to be happy again, but I can’t be truly happy until I’m free. And I will never be free of the past until I have brought the king to his knees.”

“Let’s do that then. We’ll do that, and in the meantime…” I fade off, running my hand through my hair. “In the meantime we can just strive for as close to happiness as possible. But we will have our revenge.”

Ven stares at me for a moment before cracking a small smile. “Yes, I like that suggestion. What is something small that we could do, that would make you happy? We could- I don’t know, make a list each, and try to complete it by the time we bring the king down.”

He didn’t have to put us together in that sentence; he’s making it sound like what things could we together do, but surely he doesn’t mean that? He has no reason to want to spend time with me, other than trying to plan our revenge and working against Fate.

“Um. Sure, we could- we could do that,” I reply slowly, still stuck on trying to figure out why the Lord is even being this nice to me in the first place. Is it since he saw my memories? I mean I expect that’s part of it; he most likely realises that we have a few things in common, but he was always gentle with me before he went into my memories, too. 

The Lord of Death is a confusing person.

I don’t hate him though.

—————

Tavatta comes to visit me later that evening, explaining that they told Lisette about my situation, and that she has calmed down now. “She will want to talk to you eventually, I’m sure. She just needs a little time for everything to sink in. But she wants to apologise, as well,” Tavatta says gently, placing their hand on my arm lightly. Nodding, I lean back and sigh. 

“I never meant to deceive or hurt her. I just- I hoped that I would never have to tell her. I didn’t want her to know that her brother had died,” I whisper, feeling my throat clog up with emotion again. 

I should have never had the audacity to think that I was really a part of her family. I was replacing their son without ever telling them that that was what I was doing. Of course they welcomed me with open arms and treated me like their son - they thought I was, but it was just a lie.

I’m just a lie.

“In time, she will forgive you. It’s just a lot for her to learn about this all at once. And it’s not like you had any control over any of this,” Tavatta reminds me, smiling slightly. “Life is the one who brought you to our world and put you in Prince Hector’s body. None of that was according to your own wishes. The princess just needs some time,” Tavatta advises me before heading back to their own home for the night.

Leaning back in my seat, I close my eyes for a moment, letting my emotions wash through me. There’s not much that I’ve wanted, since coming to this world. I’ve wanted to protect Lisette, and I’ve wanted to make those pay for the suffering they have caused me and so many others.

And I wanted to be a part of Hector’s family. 

I wanted to belong.

I wanted to be loved.

I wanted to prove that I can be loved.

But even the sweetest of people can come to hate you within mere minutes.

It’s no wonder that Jack resorted to murdering me. I just…

I bring suffering to everyone around me.

—————

-Venciv-

“Little one. Wake up,” a gentle voice coos in my mind and I sit bolt-upright, before realising that the spirit of Life is talking to me. “Life? You’re alright now? Death still isn’t back yet,” I say after a moment, but the spirit goes silent again, its voice weak when it finally replies. “No, little one. We need more time. But you must find my little one; they have become consumed by their own dark thoughts. Please help them.”

Springing out of bed, I rush to Vic’s room, but he isn’t anywhere to be seen. On his desk is a half-finished list labelled ‘path to happiness’. Number one on the list is to be forgiven by Lisette. Number two is to really be loved.

That…makes my chest hurt slightly. I don’t understand why.

Checking the rest of the house, I try to call upon the Life spirit again for guidance, but all it tells me is that I must hurry. 

Where would Tevic even go? He hasn’t had the chance to explore the town properly yet, and mine and Tavatta’s houses are quite far from the main town anyway, so it’s unlikely that Vic would go there in the middle of the night.

Would he go somewhere he finds relaxing? Where does he even like? I’ve seen years worth of his memories, and yet I still know nothing about Tevic.

Then again though, who I saw was Victoria, and it’s been ten years since Vic was her.

I’d made my way to the main gate, worried that perhaps he’d gone out onto the rock plains, before changing my mind. There’s one place that I find relaxing, and I’ve seen Vic there a few times. I was rushing earlier, so it didn’t occur to me to check it. Doubling back around to my house, I don’t go inside, instead going around the side right to the back, where the little rock garden is. A body is slumped over the table, not moving.

Shit shit shit shit please let him just be asleep.

Hurrying to his side, I let out a breath of relief when Vic’s breath mists. “He’s sleeping, is he safe?” I ask the spirit, hoping that it has enough energy to respond. 

“No. Memories.”

My heart leaps into my throat as I take another look at Tevic’s sleeping form. He doesn’t seem to be having a nightmare, but I can’t be sure. It’s best to wake him, just to be safe. I gently touch his shoulder but Vic flinches away at the contact, shivering slightly. Taking off my wool cardigan that I sleep in over my shirt, I place it across Vic’s shoulders. He relaxes slightly, the line between his eyebrows smoothing out slightly. His head is resting on his arms over the table, and even in the limited light I can make out the tear streaks down his cheeks.

My chest hurts again.

“Tevic. You’ll catch a cold, sleeping out here at this time of year. Why don’t you sleep inside?” I ask softly, but loudly enough to hopefully rouse him. It doesn’t work, and since I’ve already gathered that touching him isn’t a good idea, I’m left stumped for a moment as to how I should rouse him.

I come up blank when I try to think of some way to wake him, until my gaze catches on the tie securing his hair behind his neck. Hoping that this won’t make him too uncomfortable, I tentatively undo the little bow tied in his hair, letting the long silver strands flow freely. Tevic’s hair is soft, surprisingly so, and quite long now that I am able to get a proper look at it. 

Vic suddenly lets out a small sound of distress, his grip around his own arm tightening imperceptibly as he whispers “I’m…sorry.” Gently reaching out, I comb my fingers through his long hair, massaging his scalp slightly. He makes another sound, but it sounds less upset now.

After a while of stroking his hair, the Life spirit speaks to me again. “Leave now. Little one safe.”

Nodding, I secure the cardigan around Vic’s shoulders before leaving. I don’t want to leave him out in the cold for long but he will most likely wake up soon anyway; he seemed to be sleeping less deeply towards the end. And besides, if Life says he’s safe then I’ll trust its instincts.

To be completely honest, I want Tevic to be happy. He has suffered a lot, but still remained kind and selfless towards his loved ones. He’s brave and has conviction; hungry for revenge but intelligent enough to recognise that now is not the right time for it.

I think that we could make quite a strong team, together. 

If only he’ll let me in.