Each and every day, for days unnumbered, the inconsolable Queen would weep for many hours until she slowly fell into a tense and uneasy sleep. 

The King intentionally refrained from paying her any visit - as part of her punishment for defying him, he deemed it. His Majesty also restricted all the Princes from seeing her; the only source of comfort she received, for a little over one month, was that of her servants, doctor and kind ladies.

**

**

[Three days after the incident]

*

Damian: What are you doing? Why are you reading…

He tilted his head to view the silver lettering on the dark green cover

Damian: “Medicinal Herbs - Ailments & Cures?” You should be resting

Alex was in his study. It was late afternoon and an entire day had gone by with him pouring over his medical books. He had convinced himself that he would help find something in which would assist his mother to heal at a faster rate. And maybe, something to cure her current mental state; for she was neither eating, sleeping nor conversing.

Damian approached his brother and stated plainly

Damian: Doing this won’t help Alex, the Royal Physician is already doing all that he can

Alex: …

Damian: You’ll only further injure yourself, the stitches could break and your wounds infected. And what then?

Alex: If I am that unfortunate, then I simply die Damian

His brother paused as he came closer, tilting his head somewhat, his jaw and brows tense as he questioned softly 

Damian: You would do that? …you would intentionally inflict further grief onto mother? This time you mean to kill her don’t you?

Alex:...What do you mean by ‘this time’?

Damian: Never mind. Forget what I said. You need to stop this-and get some rest

**

**

Despite this, he remained in his study. Scrutinising medical journals for possible remedies to ease his mother’s ailments and forward his findings. For numerous days, he too failed to have sleep visit him at nights and he neither ate or drank anything. 

Two weeks passed this way. And while the wounds on his back were healing, the one on his heart, however, was not. 

It was, however, only until one month had passed, that the King allowed his sons to visit their mother and needless to say, Alex immediately went to her.

Quietly and slowly, he entered his mother’s bed chambers. 

At once, his mother looked up at him and he felt a sudden stab of pain in his chest as he observed her. 

Through blurred sight he saw that she appeared quite pale and weak. Her bright smile; the only thing which seemed to have remained. Faintly heard, she said

Queen Marie: My dearest little one… 

She sat upright, propped up by huge fluffy pillows and in reaching for him, he came nearer. A chair placed at her bedside, waited for him. 

However, upon reaching his mother’s side, Alex dropped to his knees and planted his face into the soft bedding. His arms limp and shoulders shaking.

The Queen then gently touched the crown of her son’s head.  He did not respond. So, she whispered

Queen Marie: Alex…please. Do not cry. It is alright now…Come, come…won’t you sit next to me?

His face still smooshed into the side of the bed, Alex shook his head

Queen Marie: Alex?

Ever so slightly, he lifted his face and through the heavy sobbing, he struggled to speak; unable to fully catch his breath

Alex: I-hic- so sorry mother -sob- …I didn’t mean for you…-hic- It’s all. My fault. -I’m so sorry pl-please…forgive me

Queen Marie: Oh my dearest one

**

**

On the bed he sat dejected; shoulders slumped, his eyes avoiding hers. All the while his mother had his hands in hers. Teary eyed, both of them were. Soothing, his mother’s soft spoken words were. But still he said

Alex: Father said …that I- it was my fault, and I…killed my sister 

Queen Marie: You are not to blame. If anything, it is my fault- and mine alone. Alex? Do you hear me?

He had resumed crying; the tears flowed gently down his cheeks. And as his mother wiped them away and cradled his face in her hands, Alex slowly leaned and laid his head on her lap. 

Stroking his hair, she said

Queen Marie: Alex?...My son, I do not wish for you to continue on this way. Once more I believed..I could place my trust ..in…It is not your fault. Do you understand?

Alex nodded. Though unsure of exactly what he was agreeing to. 

Queen Marie: I am to blame. Okay?

He nodded again but he slowly became lost in his own thoughts; questioning and scolding himself

{How can I possibly blame mother for what happened? I can't. I won't. She was simply trying to protect me. If only I wasn’t so weak- as father had said, and so incompetent and useless and stupid then maybe…mother wouldn't be in pain right now. I'd be a big brother. She and I would be laughing and everything would've been fine. Would I even have been a good big brother?}

{No. It is indeed all my fault. I am a failure. Why do I bother to try at all? In the end, all I did was make father angry and this was the result. And now, there's absolutely no way of fixing it. But there has to be a way. I can’t- I’m not going to stay this way all my life am I? I need to be able to be there for mother, to protect her. What should I do?} 

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