Today's the day!

Having the coffee with Matt today, I'm a little mixed about it. Though, I am feeling much better today than yesterday. I made sure not to get wasted like the other night. Not that I would have had a reason to with Bailey being home last night. We talked about what happened, but I made sure to leave out the part about how bad my paranoia got. I didn't want to make her as if she can't leave me home alone if she is needing or wanting to be somewhere else for a night. It isn't fair for me to be such a burden on her.

I haven't seen Kalston since that night, which is probably a good thing. He told Bailey yesterday that he put me to bed and decided to spend the night in case I needed him, but I'm not sure if that's the whole story. He didn't tell her how bad off I was. Heck, I'm not even fully aware yet of how bad I let myself get. If I blacked out as I did, I must have been a lot more drunk than I was intending. I haven't gotten that way in years. For good reason.

I was surprised that I even made it to the next morning unscathed. So, maybe I did just go to bed shortly after talking to Kalston as he said.

Good. No one deserves to have to deal with that side of me. I'm too much of a burden like that.

I walk into the kitchen to double-check my schedule for the day, trying to make sure I'm not forgetting anything before leaving out.

Nothing.

Sitting at my usual table, I already messaged Matt so he knows I'm here. I got here a little early to help steady my nerves, but that seems to have backfired.

'Just go home! You can reschedule for a day when you'll be better prepared.'

But, I'll never be prepared. It's better to get this over with. Maybe when we know each other more it won't be so hard in the future.

'If he gets to know you then he probably won't want to hang out again'

'Ha! Problem solved, then you won't have to worry about doing this again. You can stay home forever, and grow old with some cats and maybe a dog or two.'

'That doesn't sound half bad.' 

'Just leeeeave! If you wait too long, you won't be able to back out!'

Sipping on my coffee, I look around. A faintly familiar figure walks through the door.

Matt!

My heart drops. He spots me, smiles, and waves before coming my way.

'You can't leave now.'