(Kalston's POV)

Jolting awake, I take a moment to catch my breath. To push the sight of blood out of my head. I try so hard to be a better man than I was in my past, but it seems no matter what good I do, I can't clean the blood off my hands. I hate myself every day for who I am.

'As you should.'

Looking out the window, I notice the sun barely risen.

Great, another lovely morning alone.

I try not to be so cynical all the time, but it's hard. My life many times seems like one mistake after another. The only thing good recently seems to be Madison. Though I haven't known her long, something about her reminds me of a friend I once knew.

Iris, I miss you.

Her sweet nature, her smile, her love of animals, and even her weird quarks I've noticed she tries to hide, it all is a reflection of the little girl I grew up with when I was young.

'All things you shouldn't get to enjoy.'

I walk down the hall about to turn into the kitchen when I spot someone running on the street.

Who else would be up this early?

Taking a better look, I notice the figure outside is Madison.

What is she doing up so early?

Not talking to her in a few days, I wonder if I should invite her over for breakfast.

It would be nice not to have another morning alone.

'But, you don't deserve that. You don't deserve her.'

Hating the thoughts that always seem to try to bring me down, it's not like they're wrong. I shouldn't bring her into the mess of my life, but it's not up to me. My feet move me forward before I change my mind, and I walk up to her. She hasn't noticed me yet, so I put my hand on her shoulder to let her know I'm behind her.

Noticing her quick movements, Crap!  I counter them quickly before her blow does me any harm. My palm stings from the impact of her fist.

Wow, her punch is stronger than I thought it would be.

Her eyes are panicked for a moment before they calm down and roll themselves out of annoyance.

"Geese, how many times are you going to try to do that to me? That's twice now that you've tried to give me a heart attack."

Surprised by her spunk, I can't help but smile in response as I try to hold back a laugh.

Even her attitude resembles that of Iris's.

Though Madison's is more mature, I could easily see it being one my dear friend could have grown into having as she aged.

Madison yanks her hand back, before speaking again.

"What, do you enjoy sneaking up on people? It's like you're a cat or something."

Not meaning to scare her, I realize now that I probably shouldn't have been so quiet when walking up to her. She settles on the curb, as I try to explain I wasn't meaning any ill intent towards her.

"I do enjoy it sometimes, but that hasn't been my intention either time with you."

I sit on the curb beside her and explain further.

"I guess once you get used to doing something, it's kind of hard to not do so, even if you aren't meaning to."

She seems out of breath, and I wonder if it's more from her run or because I scared her.

'You should have known better. It's early, she's alone, and you scared her half to death. There's no telling what she thought you were trying to do to her.'

"I get it, but that doesn't mean I'll hold back next time."

She comments with a warm smile that brightens my morning. It reminds me even more so of Iris. This smile does not seem weighed down by the troubles she usually holds in. It's light and carefree. Her response of holding back baffles me as her reflexes and strength a moment ago seemed full force.

"That's what you call holding back."

I'm no longer able to hold back the laughter I had caged in.

I feel her soft gaze on me, but when I turn to face her again, she looks away. Her face red already from her run, I can't tell if she is blushing as she had done a couple of times on our first encounter.

In the past, I have enjoyed getting that kind of reaction from others. It makes me feel as though I have the upper hand at times, but I'm not sure if I enjoy doing it to her. Sure knowing that the reaction means she thinks I'm charming as I try hard to be many times. Though, I would rather her just be comfortable around me. Kind of how she was the other night. It was nice to know she could be herself even if I felt I couldn't.

Madison speaks up to shift the topic some

 "What are you doing out here so early?"

I want to tell her the truth, that I can't sleep much with the demons and nightmares that haunt me every night, but I decide to bend it a little.

"I usually get up to enjoy the morning while it's still young, and that's when I noticed you out running. I wanted to see if you would join me for some coffee. I didn't want to..." have another morning alone with only the guilty thoughts in my head harassing me.

I do enjoy the early morning, at least more than the night. Being awake with the sun up at least keeps me from reliving my past mistakes in vivid detail.

'They're more than simple mistakes Kalston, and you know that. The blood on your hands shouldn't be counted as 'simple mistakes'.'

I know that! Do you really think I don't know that?

Taking a breath as I realize I shouldn't be showing her this side of me. I repeat my word, but without the ending I was wanting with them. Making sure to put the wall up that I had forgotten to do already.

"Because I thought it would be nice to enjoy some coffee with a lady as lovely as you."

She's quiet for a moment and then stands before answering me.

"I would gladly join you for coffee, under one condition."

She offers me a hand, but I can't take it until I know what her condition is.

"What is the condition?"

Hearing her words, "You tell me what happened the other night. I can't remember anything past you sitting down next to me." they make me more at ease.

That's not what I thought she was going to say.

I accept her help and her condition.

"Okay, but there isn't much to tell."

At the stove, I cook us both an omelet as Madison sits at the island and watches me. Her eyes gently on me, they don't seem to be eyeing me in a way of attraction, but more so in a way of being observant. I've noticed her do that a lot.

The coffee done brewing, I leave the eggs for a moment as I make us both a cup the way I've noticed she seems to like hers. Black with a little honey.

She smiles when I hand her my favorite mug, but it's not the same one as earlier.

What troubles are you holding back? I wish you could tell me. I wish you wouldn't have held them back the other night. Maybe I could have helped.

'How could you help her when all you do is bring pain to those around you? All you do is put more blood on your hands.'

Keeping my face from showing the torment my thoughts do to me, I smile at her before turning back to check on our breakfast.

Her voice speaks up, reminding me of what I'm supposed to be telling her.

"So, what happened the other night?"

Cutting the omelet in half and putting it on two separate plates, I set one down in front of her before placing the other in front of where I'm settling myself down across from her.

"Well, like I said. Not much happened."

Should I tell her about the partial breakdown she began to have before she fell asleep on me? No, maybe another time.

"We talked for a bit, you fell asleep, and then I walked you inside to your bed after a bit. I wanted to make sure you were feeling better before I took you inside. You seemed a bit out of it."

'Don't lie. You didn't wait to take her in for her sake, but because you enjoyed her needing you. You need to be needed Kalston, but you can't help anyone!'

She sips her coffee, staying quiet for a moment before questioning me some more.

"Did. Did I say anything stupid?" 

"No, you didn't."

Stupid, no. Depressing, yes. What is it that has caused you so much pain?

I give her a grin before trying to lighten her mood.

"What stupid thing are you afraid of revealing to me Madison? Are you afraid I'll find out you like me?"

I flirt with her and watch her cheeks redden. This time I know for sure it's from embarrassment and not from her earlier run. I enjoy the site of her embarrassing smile right now only because I know her mind is distracted from whatever secret she is afraid she revealed.

Her tone is hushed when replying. "No, not that."

Picking fun of her some more, "So you don't care that I know you think I'm attractive?" she begins to stammer.

"Tha, that's not what. Geese, Kalston."

Her face gets red again, but this time more from playful anger than from embarrassment.

"Of course you're attractive, but don't assume that means I like you. You're just good to look at."

She's now the one now trying to mess with me. I see a playful glint in her eyes, but I'm not sure what it means. It wouldn't be the first time a woman has found me attractive, I know my looks get the attention of others, but as she said. Attractiveness doesn't always mean someone cares for you.

It would be nice if she did though.