Mr. Walsh sits at his desk as I sit in my own seat. He was supposed to start a lesson about fifteen minutes ago. I look down at the book in my hands pretending to read but not wanting to say anything about class. Five more minutes pass and I bite my lip looking up at him as he reads through notes,

“Mr. Walsh?” He looks up when he hears me indicating he was paying attention, no one wants to do school work but I need something to get Herschel off my mind.

“Are we starting soon?” I ask, closing my book and folding my hands in my lap watching him take off his eyewear.

“I saw you walking away from the lake with Mr.Stott the other day, am I to believe you are feeling better?” He asks while cleaning off his glasses with a soft rag, I’m taken aback by his interest in my feelings, unable to find words for a moment. I clear my throat as he replaces the spectacles on his face.

“A bit um… you helped quite a bit. I apologize if I forgot to thank you.” He sets down the soft rag he was using a moment ago.

“It’s quite alright.” he takes another moment of silence, and I am about to ask about class again when he stands rather suddenly.

“I’ve decided today we will do independent study, you may do this anywhere in the house.” He says while walking over and opening the door to the room we are in, It’s not exactly a classroom; The room is very open actually, with a desk for Mr.Walsh to sit. There's a large chalkboard in front of a couch I sit on as well as multiple abandoned pieces of furniture and instruments. A small Harpsichord sits in the corner collecting dust, untouched sense Darius became ill as a child, as well as multiple child string instruments I outgrew the larger versions of which I practice in my bedroom. I stand up hesitantly, walking to the door, my dress swaying around me.

“You wish for me to study somewhere else in the house?” I ask, confused and almost unbelieving.

“I wish for you to do what you consider productive, My Lady.” He bows and I curse the man internally. If I leave class now I'll surely be found by Herschel, but before I can even think of protesting he is out the door and striding down the hall almost too quickly. I sigh deeply, closing the door behind me and beginning to just wander the halls of the Manor. My brain swims with confused thoughts of Herschel’s confession and my heart aches with just the memory of how he looked at me. I shake the thought out of my head quickly before bumping into someone. I look up and see my Darius, he seems genuinely surprised to see me.

“Darius! I-” I stop as he looks away from me pulling the collar of his shirt up to hide his neck.

“Not now Lin.” he says simply walking away, my heart aches suddenly and i feel sick thinking he’s still upset with me from the other day. I take a deep breath as he disappears down the hallway a familiar maid rushes past me grazing my shoulder before stopping.

“Oh dear! I’m sorry My Lady” she apologizes quickly giving me a shallow curtsy, seeming as if she’s in a rush.

“It’s fine, Ophelia.” I smile at her which she returns gratefully. Her face is flushed and her uniform wrinkled as she tries to smooth out the dark forest green pants all workers in the house wore. She refastened the top button on her frilly shirt and her dark skin glistened with sweat as she breathed heavily.

“Is everything all right?” I can’t help but ask, tilting my head at her rushed demeanor.

“Oh! Yes, quite” she smiles, readjusting her cuffs and running a hand through her afro of dark brown curls that sit atop her head otherwise not moving.

“I was just rushing to get a towel because I had spilled… oh!” she realizes something, her emerald eyes widening.

“Oh my! My apologies but I have to leave.” she says suddenly curtsying again before running off almost tripping in the process. The girl is strange but I consider her enough of a friend to give her a formal invitation to my Debut party instead of a maid. I’m excited to see her in formal skirts. Ophelia being rather clumsy already will also make things even more interesting, I can’t help but chuckle at the thought of it making a mental note to step in if it looks like she needs help. A croaky voice behind me startles me out of my thoughts,

“What are you laughing at my lady?” Archer asks behind me and I place a hand on my chest to calm myself feeling my heart beat out of my chest.

“Oh Archer you scared me, I haven’t seen you in a few days.” I chuckle at the elderly man, he holds up two pieces of paper I can only see the backs of.

“My partner was ill and I was nursing them.” He says simply in his normal croaky voice walking around me and inspecting parts of me, grabbing my arms and making me hold them up.

“My are… they alright?” I hesitate to ask the wellbeing of Archer’s spouse so as to not upset him if all was not well.

“Oh yes quite alright by now, I’ve been meaning to ask your mother if I can bring Elen to your next fitting.” He speaks quickly brushing over his personal matters, he stops what he’s doing looking up at me with raised bushy eyebrows.

“I-is Ellen your wife?” I ask cautiously, I've never heard the man refer to his spouse by my name, only saying “my partner” and “they”. In this I've gathered he’s a rather reserved man. He laughs, a forced sound like an old bullfrogs croak escaping his throat.

“Oh no my lady, Ellen is my daughter. I have two you know” He smiles up at me and I can’t help feeling surprised by this.

“Oh.. she’s your Daughter?” I repeat his words, shock evident in my voice as he nods to me stepping away from my body.

“Carried her myself” He smiles proudly putting his hands on his hips and I'm only raised with more questions.

“Ellen is your age, then Ilean is a few years older… My youngest is Irving, about fifteen.” His smile only gets wider as he talks about his children before he thinks for a minute.

“Well… that’s not counting the birds.” I never dreamed of knowing this much about Archer and my head is slightly swimming at the new information.

“Ellen wants to make dresses.” He seems even prouder at this information, his tiny chest puffing out.

“I’m sorry Archer, I just assumed you were too old for children.” I say honestly and he laughs again, a sickly giggle like a horse breathing into quicksand.

“Dear girl, I'm no older than your mother!” He smiles and I nod my eyes wide and stare at this alien man.

“I… don’t mind if your daughter comes.” I finally stay a little eager to see what such a girl with the same genetics as Archer would even look like.

“Perfect” he says simply before walking away, an interesting stride seeming to take too small of steps for his legs.

I try to figure out where Darious was headed while avoiding where I knew Herchel was posted before I passed a place I have not dared to enter in years, but the door to my father’s study was open and he was inside. He looked up at me, his eyes shining like a Caribbean sea, surprisingly bright for the soullessness behind them. He brushes a hand through his graying hair showing parts of his scalp through the obvious fake parts. He looks for a moment as if he’s trying to remember who I am,

“Wearing a dress like that will get you raped” He says simply before looking back at his paper. I’m taken aback by a sour feeling curling in my stomach making me suddenly self conscious. I see an empty cristal glass on his desk and I can’t help wondering about the suspicious object. Just as I'm about to leave he lifts his hand motioning for me to come closer. I look at the ground walking closer to him and hear his papers as he’s setting them down.

“Your breasts are rather large aren’t they?” he asks simply, I have no answer for I had never considered my breasts let alone that they are a problem. He turns in his chair to look at me closer.

“I’ve been busy, how many months has it been?” he asks and I play with my hands as he stands towering over me, his gray doesn't mask the once black mane he still sports as he eyes me coldly.

“It’s been.. Two years your grace” I struggle to get my words out. My tongue feels thick in my mouth, too heavy to be able to speak properly.

“For that I truly apologize.” He apologizes and I meet his eyes finally feeling surprised as he looks down at me.

“If I were around perhaps you wouldn’t have gained so much weight.” He comments

raising an eyebrow and I feel as if the wind was knocked out of me, like the blunt edge of a sword was forced into my stomach and I struggle to not let out a pained noise as if I was truly struck. 

 “Beg your pardon?" I spit out suddenly looking up at the man who is my father, shaking in my shoes.

 “I'm sure you do, are you dull? I said you've gotten fat." he says again and my mouth goes dry and I feel sick. 

“Dearest, I tell you this because I love you and I wish to help you so suitors will find you appealing” he sighs sitting at his desk again and I nod looking at my feet again. 

 “Are you to stand there silently or thank your father for his honesty and generosity” he asks, picking up a pipe and lighting it as he looks over his papers once more, I curtsy low to the ground for him. 

“T-thank you father” I stutter, instantly regretting the action and feeling his glare on me.

“Are you an idiot, speak properly” he says loudly and I wince at his tone as I rise again. 

“I'm s-” he cuts me off by putting up his hand, tossing his papers in front of him, his eyes seeming iced over with cruelty.

“Out of my sight girl, I'll be cutting your portions till you're at least a stone lighter, and if that doesn't wonder I'll take breakfast away all together” I nod leaving the room closing the door behind me feeling tears prick the corners of my eyes as I feel my heart pounding. Interactions always put the fear of God in me, I've never known why.