Chapter 16

“I’m ready to talk to you,” Lisette says confidently the moment I open my door. Nodding quickly, I open the door the whole way and invite her in. Lisette strides over and sits down at my desk, folding her hands into her lap. Sitting gingerly on my bed, I take a deep breath, trying to relax somewhat.

“I have a lot of questions,” Lisette starts, meeting my gaze and holding it for a moment. “I know you’re not who I thought you were, but I still- you’re still my family. And I’m sorry for all the awful things I said to you - they could never be true,” she says softly, tears springing into her eyes. “I would never, ever hate you. And you- you are part of my family. You always have been. I’m so sorry,” she cries, wiping her eyes and shaking her head.

Carefully standing, I walk across to embrace her, stroking my sister’s back gently. “It’s alright, Lisette. I should’ve told you far sooner, I just- I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was a coward.”

She shakes her head, holding onto me tightly. “Because of you, I get to have an older brother still. Because of you, I’m even alive in the first place. You have nothing to apologise for, Tevic,” she pulls back from me slightly, squeezing my arm lightly. “Now, I just want to know who you are. Why don’t you tell me about who Tevic is?” Lisette suggests lightly, but all I can do is let out a shaky laugh.

Who is Tevic?

“I…I don’t know who I am, to be honest. I’m not Hector, and I’m not…I’m not who I was before, either,” I say softly, shaking my head. Lisette moves to sit next to me on the bed, taking my hand and holding it gently. “Well, surely not everything will have changed from before you were Hector…surely your likes and dislikes are still the same?”

Nodding slowly, I smile. “Right. Death didn’t change everything - I still like…I don’t know, flowers. I like when it snows, I like the colour red, and the colour blue. And…I like it here, being with you, Tavatta and Ven. I like it here, and I loved your parents.”

Lisette squeezes my hand before letting go. “It must have been so confusing, suddenly being Hector. Was your name Tevic?”

Laughing slightly, I shake my head. “It was strange at first, yes, but I got used to this world, and this life. And no, my name wasn’t Tevic; I used to be called Vickie by my friends though, so I suppose that played a part when I chose this name.”

Lisette frowns slightly, cocking her head to one side. “Vickie? What was your name; Victor?”

“Victoria, actually,” I smile slightly, trying to focus on some of the happier moments of my life as Victoria.

“Victoria? You were a woman? You mean I could’ve had a sister this whole time?!” Lisette exclaims, throwing her arms around me. Letting out a laugh, I nod. “Yes, I was a woman. We definitely would’ve gotten on well if we’d met back then, somehow.”

“Really? What did you look like?” Lisette asks, snuggling into my side. Closing my eyes, I conjure up an image of my old self. “Well, not to brag or anything, but… I was quite pretty,” I say with a laugh, shaking my head. “I had long dark red hair and brown eyes. I was twenty-six when I died; so I’m nearly back to where I was, in a sense.”

“Wow,” Lisette whispers. “You sound gorgeous. How did you…pass away? You were so young,” she says sadly. Letting out a long sigh, I stare up at the ceiling. “Do you remember when I first arrived here? Hector unexpectedly woke up from the long fever thing, and I was completely fine. Except, I had some strange scars that no one could explain.”

Lisette nods, pressing her hand gently to my right shoulder, where she knows one of my scars lies. “Yes, we never…figured out, where those came from.”

Nodding, I take her hand in mine, squeezing gently. “They were from me - Victoria. I was…murdered. From my point of view, I was being…stabbed, and then the next thing I knew, I woke up and I was in Hector’s body. It really was strange, before I just accepted it.”

Lisette throws her arms around me, hugging me tightly. “I’m so sorry you had to experience that. How terrifying. Was it personal? Or completely random?”

Shrugging, I hug my sister back. “It was bad, and I still have issues because of it. Particularly when it comes to trusting people.”

Lisette pulls back, frowning. “Why trusting?”

“Because it was someone I trusted, who did that to me,” I explain, smiling sadly. “My ex-lover. I had broken things off with him after discovering that he had been unfaithful to me, and he…well he didn’t like that.”

Gasping, Lisette’s expression turns furious. “Seriously?! That’s awful! What a terrible, horrible man! I suppose the only consolation is that now you’re in our world, he can’t hurt you anymore.”

My expression falters slightly, and I nod. “Well, I hope so, anyway. But we can’t be sure…” I fade off, before explaining about the situation and my suspicions surrounding Lyon having Jack’s soul. She crosses her arms resolutely, pouting slightly. “Well I’m never letting him hurt you again. Or that creepy princess. We’re safe here, and the Lord and Tavatta will keep us safe. We’re going to be alright here,” she smiles, hugging me tightly again. 

Biting my lips, I contemplate telling her the last little truth about me. About the whole gender thing. I might as well, since she already knows about Victoria.

“There’s one last thing, actually,” I admit, pulling back from my sister. She nods, smiling encouragingly. “You can tell me anything, I mean it.”

Not meeting her eyes, I fiddle with a strand of hair, twirling it around my finger. “Well, I was talking to Tavatta, since I’ve sort of…had some suspicions, about myself,” I say slowly. “I was a woman, before. And then I was Hector. A man. But now, neither a man or a woman feels entirely right? At least not the whole time. It’s complicated.”

“You’re like Tavatta? Neither a man nor a woman?”

Nodding, I finally look up. “But sometimes I feel like both, too. Not at the same time - some days I feel more feminine, and other days I’m happy being a man. I tried to ignore how I felt about it all, since it just confused me further, but talking to Tavatta has been really helpful.”

Lisette nods, reaching out to run her fingers through my long hair, which I left down today. “What about today? How are you feeling today?”

Smiling lightly, I fold my hands into my lap. “Today I feel more feminine. This is why I grew my hair out - it helps me feel a little more like myself, on the days like today.”

“Why don’t we go shopping together?” Lisette suggests, taking my hand excitedly. “We could get you some pretty clothes! We can bring the Lord, I’m sure he would enjoy coming with us - and besides, you’ve never been into the town, have you? Come on, it’ll be fun!” She exclaims, hopping up excitedly. 

“I don’t know, I mean…then I would have to tell Ven about this whole gender epiphany and I don’t know. Isn’t that a bit…awkward?”

“Why would it be awkward?” Lisette tilts her head to one side, smiling warmly. “It will be fine. Trust me on this?”

Letting a small smile creep onto my lips, I slowly nod. “Alright. Ok. I’ll- I’ll talk to him first, and then we’ll see about going into the town. Deal?” I hold out my hand, and Lisette eagerly shakes it.

“Deal. Now go on; he’s been worried all day, according to Tavatta, since they told him I would come to talk to you today.”

Ven does seem to worry about me quite a bit, recently.

Maybe this will be alright.