Due to the rain all week, the wedding of the year was set to be inside. I stood one final time with my mother in the drawing room, a maid does up my wedding dress as she paces.

“That boy…” Her face is in a misleading scowl as she talks about Herschel.

“I can’t believe that boy! How wonderful he is!” She exclaims, suddenly moving the maid out of the way to work on my corset herself.

“What could have happened?! If he hadn’t struck down that terrible man!” she pulls the corset too tight around me but my mind is too drunk on sadness to notice the dull throbbing in my lungs.

“Goodness! Have you put on weight? I could have sworn you were thinner than this” My mother doesn’t speak directly to me, more about me and I shrug in response. I haven’t paid much attention to my weight in the last few weeks that I've admittedly spent doing more sulking than exercise.

“Hopefully Herschel won’t turn you down seeing this, you truly are lucky…” she’s silent for a moment, looking me over almost somberly.

“You know he’s too good for you Adilyn, yes?” She wipes her skirts off sitting on the couch and picking up her wine glass. Rain hammers outside on the windows, my gaze flickers to the floor then back up at her.

“That’s rather hurtful mother…” My voice comes out small and child-like, the fact my mother could possibly think so low of me causes my heart to hurt.

“The corset is too tight, am I… am I to breathe?” I try to complain but simply can’t find the strength to speak too much out of turn anymore.

“Darling I'm only kidding, you're too sensitive.” she waves me off and I grit my teeth to keep from spitting insults back at her.

“Can I be alone mother?” my voice is just above a whisper, I watch her finish her wine with a final gulp and stand.

“Of course darling, I'm sure you need a moment to reflect before the happiest day of your life.” After a moment I hear the door close, and let all the air I was holding in my body leave in a deep sigh. Looking in the mirror I can’t decide if I'm more disgusted by the wedding dress on my body, or the body inside it. After hours of painful hair pulling, a heavy powdered wig set on my head. It’s itchy, and the light color clashes with the cream of the hideous wedding dress.

“What kind of a god would make me look so…” I trail off before I'm interrupted by the door opening again.

“Jesus Linny… what did they do to you?” I recognize Darius’s voice before I turn around to see him, I can’t help the smile that creeps on my lips.

“Is it truly that bad?” I ask Darius, he chuckles and pulls me into a hug, stroking my back slowly.

“Dear little sister… i’m so sorry for how I treated you, I let my anger get away from me.” He whispers apologies to me, and I tell him I understand hugging him back.

“Our lives aren’t the easiest brother, we’re allowed to lose our temper.” Darius chuckles, He looks so handsome in his fanciest outfit, A frilled collar and fresh shaven face, although he was holding his side were  his injury is as he stood. “If I had one wish to change about my wedding, I would change my maid just for you.” I can’t help letting out another deep sigh before Darious hugs me again.

“Oh! My sweet little sister! I know it may not be what you always dreamed of but… you look more beautiful than any other girl could in that dress.” He takes my hands and kisses my forehead causing me to blush and wave him off me with a giggle.

“You forget yourself Darious!” I can’t remember the last time I connected with my brother this way, it felt so refreshing to have someone I can be at ease with again.

“I wanted to thank you for sticking by my side when I was hurt… I wanted to tell you after the ceremony today…” He steps back from me with a nervous expression.

“I’m going to the Amore district to study Painting, it’s the most romantic place in the country with the best artists around.” He shrugs and I look up at him, confusion blossoming through me.

“What… What of Ophelia?” My voice is more panicked then I mean it to be, Darious lets out a sad sigh.

“I’ll leave her in your care Linny… make sure she’s happy.” He hugs me again to hide his expression, and I return the embrace.

After Darious left it was time to put on my face, maids gather around and slather a paste-like substance on my skin, probably led based. I stare at my reflection looking like a ghost under the substance.

“Is nothing natural about a wedding?” I can’t help asking before my face is pulled from my line of sight.

“I believe the flowers are real, My Lady.” Ophelia says quickly, she doesn’t seem sad, only distant and not as bright as her usual self. I can’t help laughing at her comment anyways before my cheeks are grabbed. Her fingers squeeze my face and force my lips to purse so she can paint a deep red color onto them.

“Charles! I need the powder!” one of the other maids calls out, after another moment a plush pillow is thrusted into my face without warning. I cough, turning my head away as the maid yells out again.

“Charles! More powder!” This process repeats a few more times before Ophelia and I are both coughing.

“Jesus! That’s enough! Now I have to start over…” She huffs softly before grabbing my cheeks again.

After my makeup is finished, people start filing out again. I grab Ophelia’s elbow, keeping her behind.

“Ophi… I’m so sorry, if I could do something you know I would. I mean, are you ok?” Ophelia’s face is shocked. Unlike the usual smile that would grace her lips, her face is sad.

“My dear Lady Adilyn” she takes my hands in hers before clasping them together.

“You are truly the sweetest person i’ve ever met, you deserve this happiness, you deserve everything you get today.” I’m sure her words are meant to be positive and cheerful but I truly don’t know what I will be getting today.

“Ophilia, I'm glad I'll have you with me at least.” tears sting at my eyes when i’m finally alone again but I know crying will only ruin all the hard work on my face the maids did.

Standing behind the closed doors before the massive ballroom, I hear rain patter on the large windows before thunder claps, it seems to shake the entire house as maids fluff my dress. I feel dizzy when I think of all the decisions that got me to this moment. I feel so pathetic trying to get approval from people who don’t care about me but I've never been able to stop myself.

“When will my father be here?” I ask a slender and almost wiery girl as she tries to move bright red flyaways out from her face.

“The Lord is already at the altar My lady.” She speaks quickly and places the veil on my head adding another weight to the powdered wig held in place by a mass of pins on my head.

“Yes but when will he be back here to walk me down the aisle?” I can’t help the bitter tone that codes my words, getting annoyed that I have to ask again. The girls look at eachother, the red headed girl wipes sweat off her hands onto the front of her uniform, the blue cloth of her pants showing she’s not the lowest level of maid but definitely not a head maid so she does know.

“He… He’s staying with the groom, you're walking the aisle yourself my lady” She says hesitantly, a lump grows in my throat and I don’t even know why I care about what he thinks or how he treats me but I still wanted him there for me.

“I’m so…” I trail off before the words can fully leave my mouth, I feel stupid, standing there with all these people I don’t even know fussing over a dress I despise.

“Fine. I’m sooooo fine.” I punctuate my words by pulling my dress away from the many hands behind me.

“Jesus believe me it will never be good enough so just stop!” I can’t help but yell at the girls, falling into the habits of the rest of my family.

“Let's get this over with” I let out a deep, almost sad breath before the doors were finally opened.