“You think it was a shame to fire him too, don’t you?” Chen Jinxuan took a bottle of whiskey the bartender offered and poured some into a glass, handing it to lawyer Liu. Afterwards, he poured himself a glass of the same beverage.

The bar was in dim brilliance from the orange light bulbs. The black discs hanging on the wooden walls adorned the space with retro hints. A black disc spinning in a rather worn vinyl and enveloped the area with Mahler’s Symphony 5 Adagietto. There was no one else but the old bartender, Liu Mingsi and Chen Jinxuan as the bar had just opened.

“The law will beg to differ.” Liu Mingsi said matter-of-factly as she took over the glass of liquor.

Chen Jinxuan took a whiff at his liquor before taking a sip, savouring the fragrance and bitter-sweet taste.

Liu Mingsi took a glimpse at Chen Jinxuan’s expression as she sipped her liquor. She sighed, “You should not have involved me in that situation. Li Guangchen could have helped you more if you wanted to dig for more information from Fang Yaowei.”

Chen Jinxuan scoffed, smiling slightly. “That is exactly why I asked for you. Fang Yaowei will never hit a woman. In addition to that, it is more advantageous for the prosecutor to be a witness at the court.”

“Sly.” Liu Mingsi took another sip of her whiskey and gazed through the glass. “You are using me thoroughly.”

“I have to make the money worth it. It is difficult to hire the well-known and capable attorney, Liu Mingsi, after all.” Chen Jinxuan downed his whiskey and proceeded to pour another glass for himself. He tilted his chin, asking Liu Mingsi if she wanted another glass of it.

Liu Mingsi shook her head. “I still think Li Guangchen would have made the better candidate to get more information from Fang Yaowei. His uncanny vibe and his vile tongue would have forced the confession out of Fang Yaowei.”

“Please, don’t. If I asked for him, he would have welcomed the fight and destroyed my office. The state it was in was already miserable. I do not want to trouble Secretary Zhou.”

Liu Mingsi made a light nod, smiling slightly. “True. If a fight occurred, you would have had to increase the payment for my service. You would not want that right, Director Chen?”

Chen Jinxuan shook his head helplessly as he took another sip of his drink. “I also refuse to pay for any damage that might have happened should Li Guangchen take your stead.”

Liu Mingsi chuckled as she came down from her seat at the bar counter. She gathered her items and said, “I shall not accompany you any longer, Director Chen. Although it is not certain whether Fang Yaowei will accept the lawsuit, it is better for me to prepare necessary documents just in case he does.”

“As expected of the second most sought-after attorney.”

“Glad to be doing business with you.” Liu Mingsi made a polite smile at Chen Jinxuan before leaving him alone in the bar.

Chen Jinxuan gazed into his glass of whiskey. The reflected lights reminded him of the dim lights in the cinema before the movie started. He downed the liquor and placed the glass down. “Owner, give me three shots of tequila.”

The bartender who stood while wiping glasses immediately set down his work and went to get his order done. Swiftly and skilfully, three shots of tequila were set neatly in front of Chen Jinxuan. Afterwards, he took a few steps away, but still near enough for him to hear should another order be made.

Chen Jinxuan reached his hand in his chest pocket in his office suit and took out a silver necklace. It was his favourite accessory—the first gift Chen Ling gave him many years ago. He recalled the suppressed thirst that night in the living room of Fang Yaowei’s condominium. He recalled how Fang Yaowei yanked him down and made whimpers of desire which led them to the ardent exchange of kisses. How unfortunate for it to end with Fang Yaowei’s blunder…

The after taste from the whiskey seemed to change in his mouth. The bitterness intensified and his mouth became inexplicably dry. Feeling his chest tighten, Chen Jinxuan took one shot of the three tequilas. With the taste overwhelming the bitterness in his mouth, Chen Jinxuan distracted himself from the lingering reminiscence.

The necklace was a plain round shaped silver. Despite looking clean, the erosion from time could not be concealed. Chen Jinxuan’s thumb rubbed over the silver trinket.

‘Click’ and the round ornament opened. Lying inside, was a yellowed folded paper. Chen Jinxuan carefully removed it and unfolded it. The printed writings were fading, but they were still legible. It was the movie ticket he and Fang Yaowei bought for their first date.

‘C-14’ was his seat. It was right in the middle of the cinema, the most comfortable position to have the entire view of the screen. Fang Yaowei even joked about it being the same number as his birth date—September 14th. Even now, he could recall the voice in his mind.

His first confession, his first date, his first co-inhabitant, his first love making… They were all Fang Yaowei. Looping in his mind were various faces Fang Yaowei made in front of him. Smiling Fang Yaowei, sulking Fang Yaowei, angry Fang Yaowei, crying Fang Yaowei… and contemptuous Fang Yaowei that he witnessed for the first time this morning.

Six years of companionship and warmth dissipated today. The memories they created together had been rendered into dust by his hands. Chen Jinxuan wondered if he could have done things differently, but the thoughts waned when he recalled the image of Fang Yaowei walking beside that man called Ning Jinhai.

Betrayal? Now, Fang Yaowei knew its taste. Chen Jinxuan was supposed to feel accomplished. He was supposed to feel triumphant over this battle of emotions. He managed to let logic take over him instead of emotions, but why did he feel none of it? Why was his heart aching, still? It was as if he had lost… That was right. He lost the trust he placed in Fang Yaowei. He lost the love he gave to Fang Yaowei. He lost Fang Yaowei, that man who pursued him relentlessly seven years ago.

Before he knew it, his sight started to blur with tears. He took another shot of the tequila. He took a deep breath as he pinched himself on the arm. Nevertheless, he could not stop the awakening memories of the past that surged like the tides.

‘I want to see this view every day’

‘Forever, my love.’

Fang Yaowei’s voice echoed in his mind. Unwilling to yield to his emotions, Chen Jinxuan downed the last shot of tequila as he raised three fingers at the bartender. Soon, a new batch of tequila was served. Chen Jinxuan made no hesitation as he downed two of them.

‘Xuan-ge, I love you.’

By the time he finished two shots, his throat started to burn, and his tears started to pour. Chen Jinxuan wondered if he could turn back time, what would he have done differently? He thought he would have drawn a line between Fang Yaowei. He would have chosen to remain strangers with Fang Yaowei. That way, he would not have to feel this agony.

Chen Jinxuan took a lighter out of his pocket and set the movie ticket on fire, watching it turn into ashes in the ashtray. The longer he watched the fire burn, the dozier he became, so he set his arms on the counter and placed his cheek on them.

There it was. The numbness.

‘Ding!’ his phone rang. Chen Jinxuan languidly reached a hand into his pocket to procure it. Throwing a glance at the screen, he felt his breathing stop. He swiped the notification away and clicked into the list of his contacts. He blacklisted Fang Yaowei’s number. In the list, he saw Han Qiyu’s number, and he recalled what he was told.

Chen Jinxuan wiped away his tears as he straightened his back. He dialled Chen Ling. Han Qiyu was right, Chen Ling was no longer a child. He could at least make a call and tell her what happened today. Instead of outsiders, he should have trusted his family.

“Jin-ge?” Chen Ling’s voice came from the other end of the phone.

Upon hearing Chen Ling’s voice, however, Chen Jinxuan became tongue-tied. He suddenly found it difficult to speak. Thinking that he was about to say Fang Yaowei’s name hurt him because that name used to be so dear to him but was now a nobody. If it was supposed to be a nobody’s name… Why did it hurt?

“Jin-ge? Are you alright?”

When Chen Jinxuan heard this, tears flowed down against his will. He wondered if he was alright. He wondered if he was fine. He wondered if he was right. When he first found the video of Fang Yaowei with Ning Jinhai, he knew he was not in the right state. Something in him shattered. To think that Fang Yaowei would rather find a replacement than confront him… to think that Fang Yaowei would betray him—betray their relationship.

But he forced himself to look alright, because he had Chen Ling he must take care of. If he was not alright, who would Chen Ling turn to when she needed help? As much as he disliked facing Chen Zhuoheng, he believed it was not right to let Xie Linrong and Chen Ling carry the unnecessary blame from Chen Zhuoheng. Since he made a lot of trouble before… What was another rebuke to him? What was another censure to him?

“Jin-ge, where are you? I’ll go get you.” Noises came from the phone, Chen Ling must be gathering her stuff and leaving her dorm.

“I’m at a bar.” Chen Jinxuan squeezed his voice out of his lungs, trying to sound as calm as usual. It was clearly futile because his voice came out hoarse.

“Send me your location, I’ll be right there.” Chen Ling said as she slammed a door shut.

After sending his location to Chen Ling, Chen Jinxuan sighed. He downed the last shot of tequila, feeling his throat burn again. Good, let it burn so he could forget the pain in his chest. Gradually, drowsiness engulfed him that not even persistent rings from his phone could rouse him.

The door to the bar opened and a young woman entered. Unlike her previous attire, she was now dressed in a dark brown leather jacket and black ripped jeans. Only her red handbag looked exceptionally conspicuous.

Chen Ling sat directly next to Chen Jinxuan. Looking at the state her brother was in, Chen Ling was stunned. She procured a handkerchief from her handbag to dab away Chen Jinxuan’s tears.

She had never seen her brother in such a pathetic state. In her memories, her brother had always been strong. Against their strict father and oldest brother, and even against delinquents. Her brother was fearless, and he had always been able to fight off anything. What could possibly cause this?

In her whole life, she had only seen Chen Jinxuan cry once. It was that day when she was kidnapped, and Chen Jinxuan brought his whole team to raid the abandoned factory. Blood was on his hands and shirt, no matter how one looked at it, Chen Jinxuan was exceptionally frightening. When he retrieved her, however, he knelt down as he embraced her, shedding tears.

At this moment, Chen Jinxuan’s phone lit up. There were emails. Chen Ling cast her gaze on the phone and saw several pop-ups.

‘Xuan-ge, I am wrong. Please. Xuan-ge, can we talk?’

‘Xuan-ge… where are you? I will break up with him. I will not fail you again.’

‘You think you are so virtuous… who do you think you are?! You want that five percent share, you will not get a cent!’

Chen Ling felt a squeeze in her chest. She did not need to understand the details to understand the big picture. Immediately, she leaned over to Chen Jinxuan and circled her arms over her brother. “Jin-ge… Jin-ge, don’t worry. I’m here. To hell with Fang Yaowei! It’s not worth it. It’s not worth getting drunk for him, Jin-ge.”

As if dreaming, Chen Jinxuan muttered, “I’m fine… Chen Ling, don’t be afraid.”

Chen Ling felt her nose burn. Her brother did not deserve to be treated this way. Her instinct was right. Fang Yaowei was a good-for-nothing.

Quickly, she picked up her phone and sent a message to Han Qiyu. “Yu-ge, Jin-ge is drunk, I need to get him back to his condo. My dorm has a curfew, I can’t stay out for long.”

Within the message, she attached a link to her location. While waiting for Han Qiyu, Chen Ling took out her card and paid Chen Jinxuan’s bills, wincing at the numbers while at it.

Approximately ten minutes later, Han Qiyu arrived with ragged breathing. He was still in his suit. He approached Chen Ling and looked at her with concern. “Are you alright?”

“Do I look drunk to you?” Chen Ling turned to look at her brother and patted his shoulder lightly.

“O-oh, I must have read your message wrongly.” Han Qiyu calmed his breathing down as he examined Chen Jinxuan’s reddened face. “Why is he…”

“It's Fang Yaowei.” Chen Ling hissed. “Hurry, help me carry him. You came here with your car or with a cab?”

“I came with my car. Here, let me.” Han Qiyu put Chen Jinxuan’s arms over his shoulders and carried him on his back.

They placed Chen Jinxuan at the rear seat, adjusting his position so he could sleep comfortably. Then, Chen Ling sat at the front beside the driver’s seat. They fastened their seat belts and drove to Chen Jinxuan’s condominium.

With her thoughts occupied and her expression darkened, the drive was silent. Even if Han Qiyu wanted to ask, Chen Ling would not know how to answer. They were not that close after all. She thought she should keep Chen Jinxuan’s private matters to themselves.

Reaching the condo, Han Qiyu had to carry Chen Jinxuan again. In the lift, Chen Ling threw a glance at them and asked, “Say, have you ever been heart-broken?”

Han Qiyu turned to look at her and raised an eyebrow. “What kind?”

“Being rejected or something…” Chen Ling muttered.

“Jin-ge just got rejected?”

"It is an if! How can a rejection turn my brother into this state?”

“You’re right.” Han Qiyu looked at Chen Jinxuan who was soundly asleep and made a solemn smile. “I have, but it is not because of love. Similar to you, it’s because of my older brother.”

When Chen Ling was about to probe, the door of the lift opened, and Han Qiyu had already walked out of it. Chen Ling quickly followed. She slid her hand into Chen Jinxuan’s pockets to look for keys and unlocked the door when they arrived.

The interior was mostly black and white with some grey. There were two bedrooms, one dining room connected to the living room and kitchen, and one bathroom. A flush mount light illuminated the whole living room with its white radiance. A dark brown fur carpet was laid under the sofa across the TV.

Chen Ling led the way to Chen Jinxuan’s bedroom, opening the door for Han Qiyu. They carefully placed Chen Jinxuan on the bed and pulled the blanket over. She also took the remote control to the air conditioner and turned it on. Only then did Chen Ling sighed in relief.

“You have to go back to your dorm, right? I’ll drive you over.” Han Qiyu said.

Chen Ling stared at her brother’s sleeping face for a while before nodding. She took Chen Jinxuan’s necklace from her pocket which she had picked up at the bar’s counter and placed it on the drawer next to the bed.

“Let’s go.” Chen Ling said as she left the room.

Han Qiyu’s eyes narrowed as his gaze fell on Chen Jinxuan’s face and then… neck. He clenched his fists as he swallowed the lump in his throat. “Coming.”

Ch 1