A vibration from Lanaya’s phone brought her back to the present. She took one last mouthful of her now cold drink  before checking her phone. Lanaya regretted not going back to sleep as she felt the weight of tiredness resting heavily on her eyes.  She walked over to the sink and put her cup down before making her way to the bathroom. 

She turned on the tap then placed her hands under the running water. Splashing the cold water on her face, she steadied herself on the sink and stared at her reflection. She let out a low sigh as she touched her cheeks and examined her slightly red eyes and dark circles. 

‘Girl you look a mess; looking like some sad panda’. Lanaya finished up in the bathroom and got ready for a morning walk. 

The freshness of the cool morning breeze made Lanaya feel more alert. The grogginess she felt since waking up started to fade. After walking about 2 miles, Lanaya stopped to stretch by a tree. The morning song from the birds perched on long branches; the rustle of the wind through the leaves on the trees, was her only company. Lanaya usually completed her morning walks with an upbeat playlist of her favourite songs, however, Lanaya’s recent melancholic mood preferred silence over rhythmic beats. She took out her phone to check the time and spotted a message notification on the screen. 

“Going to drop off the kids at nursery for you after my gym session D.”

Lanaya responded to the message with a “Thanks” contemplating adding a smiley emoji before sending the text without it. Lanaya shook her head and decided she had enough of walking in silence so selected her music playlist hoping it would distract her from the negative thoughts trying to pervade her mind. The staleness of her husband’s message reminded her of the cold response she received from him on their anniversary. This made it harder for her to appreciate the favour. There would be days when Lanaya’s husband would come across as considerate and attentive, but this would quickly be overshadowed by curt remarks, lack of attention and little affection. Lanaya hummed along to the lyrics of the songs to stop herself from dwelling on her husband’s Jekyll and Hyde-like behaviour. It did not work. She started to wonder how long had it been like this, for if she had known what she would be going through, she would have steered clear. The man she is with now and the man she fell for back then feel like two completely different people. On their wedding day, they vowed to love and cherish each other through thick and thin, but it appears as if those vows are long forgotten. Her mind wandered back to the encounter she was daydreaming about earlier in the morning. A few years ago when she was emotionally drained and vulnerable, she was able to find some comfort and relief in an unlikely and unexpected source.

Back then Lanaya had very mixed feelings having spotted the man who triggered her emotional meltdown. What could he possibly want to talk about? Has he not said enough? Lanaya felt embarrassed that she was caught crying in her car. She turned around in her seat making sure to avoid prolonged eye contact as she tried to reach her handbag on the backseat. She saw that the handbag she threw in earlier had tipped over and spilled the contents on the floor.

‘Aghh’ she grumbled. She wiped her eyes quickly with her hands having failed to find any tissues and decided that she needed to drive off as soon as possible. And that is what she would have done, if she could locate her keys.

‘Ugh!’ she grumbled again. As she straightened up in her chair, she had to decide  whether or not to contort herself to look for her keys from the driver’s side or step out of the car and check the backseat properly. Before she made a decision, the face that was watching her was no longer there. 

‘Oh’, she said to herself feeling a tinge of disappointment. ‘Wait, why am I disappointed?’, she thought as she got out of the car believing that she no longer needed to hide. 

Lanaya opened the rear door and leaned in to look for her keys. She stiffened as she heard a familiar voice behind her. She was unsure of what expression she had on, but knew her face was looking pretty rough right now. ‘Just great’, she thought as she slowly straightened up, closed the car door and stood face to face with Delroy. 

Lanaya looked off to the side so as not to make direct eye contact. She stood still without saying a word. Delroy awkwardly handed Lanaya a hot drink and some napkins. 

‘Errmm…here’, he said in a low voice, lacking its usual confidence.‘I wasn’t sure what you like to drink so I got you a hot chocolate. I hope that’s okay?’ 

Lanaya took the cup, still avoiding making eye contact. Silence passed between the two of them for a few moments. Lanaya’s hands trembled as she gripped the warm paper cup. A single tear trickled slowly down her cheek; a prelude to the deluge that was to come. Lanaya’s head bowed lower. Her shoulders dropped. Her body shuddered uncontrollably as the tears continued to flow. The cup was carefully removed from hands before she felt a warm, firm but gentle embrace wrap around her shaking body. Her face pressed against a solid chest draped in a slim fitted cotton polo. A pleasant scent of a faint cologne and fabric softener tickled her nose. She took a deep breath in squeezing her eyes tight and buried her face deeper into his chest. Delroy pulled her closer gently rubbing her back saying softly ‘it’s okay’ over and over. 

Lanaya began to calm down. The sudden realisation of what she was doing and with who hit her. She pushed herself  away from Delroy, embarrassed, confused, and at a loss for words. She took a moment to compose herself before speaking. ‘Um, thank you. I’m okay now’, Lanaya said shakily. Delroy was not convinced. As Lanaya began to turn away to get back in her car, Delroy grabbed her hand holding her back gently. 

‘Hey, let’s talk,’' he said softly as he stooped down to look at her face. Lanaya could feel her eyes ready to overflow again. 

‘I need to get away’, she thought. ‘I don’t need anyone comforting me, especially not him. This is too much’.

Lanaya attempted to pull her hand free but Delroy held it tighter. He looked around as he could feel the gazes of some onlookers. Reminded that they were in public, Delroy asked with pleading eyes for Lanaya to sit with him in the nearby coffee shop or at least talk with him in the car. Lanaya agreed to sit in the car as she could not bring herself to be around other people and face their inquisitive gaze.

Delroy opened the driver's side for Lanaya then walked around to sit in the car with her. He took a deep breath before attempting to apologise, being careful with his words so as not to cause any further offence. Lanaya listened to Delroy as he fumbled over his words. She knew her emotional state was not entirely his fault, but could not resist the little satisfaction she got from his clumsy verbiage. Lanaya finally felt able to look at Delroy properly. 

‘Thank you’, she said.

Delroy looked at Lanaya, smiled then instinctively reached out to take her hand but stopped midway. He ran his hand through his hair instead laughing nervously. Lanaya smiled thinking he was acting quite cute. 

‘Pretty.’

 Lanaya’s eyebrows rose in surprise. 

‘Oh shhhhh…sugar! D..did I say that out loud?’ Delroy stuttered, covering his mouth although it was much too late. 

Lanaya could not help but laugh which surprised even her considering the circumstances. Delroy seemed pleased that Lanaya was able to laugh because of him and smiled as he watched her. Lanaya looked down at her hands fidgeting in her lap.

 ‘I’m pretty embarrassed but thank you for making me feel better, as unexpected as it was’, Lanaya said. ‘I’m not like this just because of what you said. Yes, your comment was a bit of a slap in the face  but you’re entitled to your opinion. We can’t all have good taste’. 

‘You know that’s not what I-’ Delroy tried to explain again but Lanaya put her hand towards Delroy’s lips to stop him from talking.

 ‘Shh. Don’t worry, I wasn’t that offended by what you said. I had a lot on my mind and I guess your comment tipped the scales a bit. But don’t feel that you need to be extra nice to me. Just treat me as normal okay?’

Delroy nodded and with a cheeky grin and the cheesiness of a bad pick-up line asked, ‘So, can I have your number?’  Lanaya laughed and playfully jabbed him in the arm. 

‘Absolutely not.’

Delroy saw her phone on the back seat and stretched over to reach it. He passed the phone to Lanaya so that she could unlock it. She typed in her passcode slowly whilst looking at Delroy suspiciously who quickly swiped the phone from her grasp. Delroy tapped at the screen a few times, using his other arm to block Lanaya from trying to grab it back. Delroy locked the screen and handed the phone back to Lanaya once he was done. 

‘What did you do?’, Lanaya asked as Delroy slipped out of the car. He poked his head back in, winked and said ‘You’ll see’ before he closed the door quickly and jogged away. 

‘Ahh this guy!’, Lanaya laughed to herself smiling as she saw what he did to her phone. In her contact list he put himself down as “DW <3” 

‘What is with the heart emoji?’  As she was about to change it a message popped up from “DW <3” saying ‘don’t change it.’

A warm fuzzy feeling rose within Lanaya as she read the name on her screen. She sent a reply saying “‘okay :-)” and placed her phone down. Locating her keys she started her car to drive home feeling a little giddy but told herself to not get carried away. ‘Keep it together girl. Let’s not get swept away.’ But the smile that spread across her face and her skipping heart said it was already too late.