She caught her breath and tumbled to the side. Lillia lay on her back, gasping. The mayor strolled to the back of the room, browsing a bookcase. She rolled onto her stomach, clawing at the carpet to push herself to her feet.

He noticed her, pulling a book from the shelf and flicking through it. “Do you have any idea how difficult it is to own four towns?”

“A … ah… Fu—”

“Four towns!” he shouted, “four towns of entitled, useless people!”

Lillia pulled herself to her feet, clasping the back of her head. It throbbed, but the pain faded away, mixing with the mess of emotions inside her. She stared directed at the mayor now, not feeling a hint of disgust or unease. All she felt was the thundering of her heart and the burning inferno of anger.

“And your sister, what has she done to deserve this money that is ‘rightfully hers’? Hmm?”

“She was born,” Lillia growled, her sanity slipping. A wicked smile broke onto her face. Then, a scream erupted from her throat. “SHE’S A-FUCKING-LIVE! SHE’S NOT USELESS YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! SHE’S MY SISTER!”

“Ha, well you—”

Lillia hadn’t finished. “What? Do you not have any brothers or sisters? Did you not get enough love as a little boy? Is that it?” she walked forward, laughing to herself. “No shit. Not a single parent or sibling could ever love you. If I was your mother, I’d have killed myself out of shame!”

The smile on the mayor’s face faded completely. His eyes drooped to the floor, beginning to water. He gently placed the book on top of the bookshelf and raised a hand to his chest. The bravado, the laughter, it all deserted him. He looked … vulnerable. Weak.

“Do-do you … really think I could have been the reason?” He stuttered, glancing helplessly at Lillia.

She stopped. What was this? Did she go too far? What did I say? She carefully walked up to the desk. The letter opener glinted in the corner of her eye.

“No…” The mayor composed himself. His face turned to a grimace. “No. What am I doing? Listening to the words of a lowlife!”

Lillia huffed, regretting the ounce of sympathy she offered him. He’s not human, she reminded herself. He probably enjoys knowing that the people of Herafel are suffering, that’s who he is. How many people has he hurt? Her rage snapped back into place. She wandered her hand towards the blade.

“I worked hard for this!” he bellowed, “there is no way your sister deserves even a fraction of that money! Besides, you really think I have the power to give it to her?”

“What?” Lillia hesitated. “What do you mean? You have the power to do that, you have too!”

He laughed madly. “I’m just a mayor! You think that’s what I want to be? A mayor can’t do shit, not without the proper permission.”

Her heart dropped. This can’t all have been pointless. Thalia needed that money! But despite Lillia’s effort, despite her promising she’d make everything better, it was all … meaningless. She was powerless. That stung harsher than anything the mayor had said, it hurt more than that door crushing her fingers — in fact, it might have well have crushed her neck, then maybe the feeling would be comparable. Those elderly protestors that she talked to, would they have to die knowing nothing had changed? Knowing the same, sad life awaited their grandchildren? Saying that, Lillia would probably die knowing that too.

“No…”

The mayor stood in front of her, his grin returning. “What? Are you finally realising your place?”

“Who … who would I have to ask then?” Lillia looked up at him, trying to disguise her bones shaking. “If-if you tell me, then it will be like you did it and that would look good for you.”

“Huh?” he burst out laughing yet again, then considered it. “I suppose, though that statue would also look good for me.”

“Statue?”

“Yeah, of the glorious late king.” he placed a hand to the right of his chest in salute. The mayor examined Lillia’s face. Distraught, hopeless. He smirked wider. “That’s where your sister’s money is going.”

This wasn’t the peaceful hopelessness that Lillia had hoped. He’d told her it was pointless, mocked her and her sister countless times, the mayor did not care one bit. And she had expected that to feel … cathartic? What did she think it would feel like? Now, there’s no way she could ever expect it to end in nothing but a shattered heart and crushing sadness. How stupid. Lillia truly believed this would make her feel better, but all she could feel was sadness and anger melting into one another. Should she cry? Scream? No. Breathe. One. Two. Her breaths got faster. Three, four, five. The mayor loomed over her, eager to see her reaction. Her hand hovered over the letter opener. No. Lillia closed her eyes. Ignore him. Breathe. Slowly. Carefully.

Six.

She was on the hill again. An endless blue sky surrounded the grand tree. Laughter. Joyful laughter. Her friends were here; Jack, Rosie, Yazmin, all the age they last was when they played here. They were rushing around the tree, playing some sort of game. The laughter quickly died out. She was in the hospital now, looking over Jack’s bed. A long continuous beep echoed into the void. There wasn’t anything they could have done.

Seven.

The mayor’s voice covered the beeping. Good. That’s exactly what he deserved. Lillia looked around. He wasn’t here. No-one was. She sat in the grass, watching a flower die. A beautiful yellow, turned to brown with a blink. The petals no longer clinged on. They gave up. Rosie never returned to the hill after that day. Lillia sat there, waiting, they all did, but she never came back. A few weeks later at school, there was an assembly, as clear as day. Rosie had been murdered, accidently, by a policeman who got the wrong house. Lillia remembered leaning to her sister and whispering, “What does murdered mean?”

Eight.

Lillia struggled. Her breathing slipped out of control. Her eyes wouldn’t open. She tried throwing the memories away. All that did was make them stronger.

She recalled the day of Thalia’s big announcement. She’d somehow brought a cake for everyone, honestly, that was the most shocking part for Lillia. They gleefully shouted the news, everyone clapped and cheered. The pregnancy brought her mum to tears.

“Am I going to be a grandmother?”

“Yes, mother. You are.”

“Oh that is just lovely.”

The memories finally faded, but Lillia didn’t see darkness or the back of her eyelids. Instead she saw a never ending plain of sand and dried dirt. She was older. Thalia was older. She held the crying baby in her arms. Lillia glanced at that innocent face, consumed by sadness. Aren’t babies supposed to have more fat than that? Isn’t there a special procedure if they aren’t the correct weight?

“Lillia,” Thalia rasped, “there’s a pond or puddle soon, right? Tell me there’s water soon.”

Lillia gazed emptily, the noise of screaming and crying ringing in her ears.

Oh, fuck it.

She forced her eyes open. The mayor still loomed over her. Smiling. That piece of shit. Lillia breathed quivering breaths, her thoughts faded, all that remained was pain. Unending, howling pain. And the mayor — he said something, but no sound reached her ears. Lillia could only hear the tears of her sister and niece crying, begging for help.

Time morphed around the mayor’s office that afternoon. Things seemed to flow slower, like swimming in deep water. Lillia didn’t notice a single thing, her gaze locked onto the mayor, trying to pierce his skull with her eyes. Her hand grasped the letter opener. The handle felt like a feather, however the pointed tip pulled downwards, all the weight concentrated up the blade. Lillia watched the mayor’s expression go from a smug smirk, to a concerned gasp. As it did so, Lillia felt the edges of her mouth climb upwards, mirroring her left hand raising the point of the letter opener.

And that’s when the flow stopped.

Lillia lunged forwards, a deranged screech leaving her mouth. The mayor froze. She collided with him, the momentum sending them into a bookcase. A warmth splashed over Lillia’s hands, easing her from her state of rage. She met eyes with the mayor, pinned to the bookcase by someone so useless. His breath trembled. They both looked down to his abdomen. 

Lillia’s eyes widened. 

There wasn’t a sound, nor a feeling, but the letter opener had firmly torn through and lodged itself into his skin. A thick red substance oozed around the blade, slivering down Lillia’s hands and dripping onto the floor. Lillia’s arms shook, she began to let go of the blade, but the mayor reached for a book. She reacted quickly, digging the blade from his abdomen and slashing it across his outstretched wrist. He screamed in pain, kicking Lillia away.

Blood sprayed from the slice in his wrist. Lillia breathed heavily, ignoring the cries from the mayor. He clasped his wrist with his free hand.

“Help me … please,” he begged, sliding down the bookcase, books crashing to the ground with him, “c-call a doctor, an-nyone, please!”

Lillia couldn’t believe her ears. She shakily stumbled towards the helpless mayor, the bloody letter opener firmly grasped in her right hand.

Her instincts kicked in. she … smiled. “And tell me, why do you deserve that help?”

“Wha…” He groaned in agony. “You bitch, I-I’m the mayor!”

Lillia shook her head and chuckled.

“Do you want to b-be a murderer?” he asked pathetically, “you-your sister’s life can’t be worth this.”

She knelt and placed the blade at the mayor’s neck, tutting. She felt his startled gasp vibrate. What am I doing? Lillia smiled more, all hope drained from the mayor’s face. Why does this feel… 

“You couldn’t be more wrong. Thalia’s life will always mean more than your pitiful existence.”

Lillia brought her hand across in a neat, straight line, pushing the blade deep into the envelope to ensure a perfect cut.

The mayor choked. A fine red line opened on his neck. Blood rushed to escape. He gargled, keeling over onto the floor. In little more than a moment, all the noises stopped. Lillia stayed kneeling. She stared at the puddle of red at her knees. Her smile faded, her eyes dropped. Her rage calmly died out and she was left, shaking, covered in blood. All that her body knew to do was vomit. Lillia shook the mayor’s lifeless body, faster and faster.

Why wasn’t he waking up?