Niko - Present Day

Thinking about the past only made the present dreary.

Since then, I haven't met Yahiko at the VG Headquarters. Instead, we decided to meet back in my old neighborhood in Ueno. You'd think I chose this spot for sentimental reasons: to be back where it all began. In all actuality, when I visited the Cobra's lair, I couldn't help but sit and wait for a chance to see Ray. Not for minutes, or even hours...it was more like days. So much so that I was eventually kicked out and told to go home.

When Ray left, all I cared about was getting a chance to talk to him again. I didn't care how long I had to wait to see him.  I would've waited an eternity. I just wanted to tell him how much I loved him...that I'd do anything to be in his arms again.

But as the days dragged on, those thoughts became pointless.

I stood on the street corner by the Mihuzo Bank ATM and waited until I saw the Bentley Limousine pull up beside me. One of Yahiko's newest recruits, Ty Inari, got out of the driver’s seat. His hair was short and silver, with a snake tattooed on the back of his neck. Another Tacoma member, one who used to work hand in hand with Ray, Botan Ahiko, popped out of the passenger-side door. Botan was more on the stalky side, but a beast when it came to turf wars. He was loyal...to a fault. We made eye contact for a short while, but I knew the questions I wanted so desperately to ask would be futile in this moment. So, instead, I just watched Botan open the door as Ty dug a cigarette out of his pocket.

Yahiko, still as monstrous as the day I met him, slid out in front of me. Thankfully he wore shades so I didn't have to stare into his eyes, but he was wearing a stylish white suit. I was honestly surprised to see him in something so flashy.

I didn't need him to extend any pleasantries for me to know I needed to unzip my bag to show him my paintings.  I honestly didn't want him to say anything to me. 

It would be better that way.

Botan and Ty took four canvases off my hands, holding them before their boss. Yahiko dug his hands in his pockets, looking them over.

"N&R," he sighed, "didn't I tell you to get rid of that?"

My eyes fell to the ground. I didn't have the heart to stop placing our initials on my canvases, but I knew that my silence would be enough for Yahiko to stop prodding.

"They're good, a bit dreary but the buyer won't mind. He's into solemn shit," Yahiko snapped.

Botan and Ty took the four paintings and put them in the limo. I handed the last one to Yahiko, watching his mind wander. The painting he held was called daydream. It was a boy being sucked into two dreams: one that was merry and one that was a nightmare. 

"Sir...how," I mustered, knowing this would be me only chance, "how is—" I started.

"Niko," he sighed, taking his sunglasses off with his free hand, "you can't keep doing this to yourself."

I connected with his snake-like eyes only for a second, holding my right arm and looking away. "I know...I just..."

Yahiko sighed, handing the last painting to Ty, as Botan exhaled roughly in my direction. 

"Let me give you some advice," Yahiko said, "and this is only because of what you’ve done for our organization, but you need to let Ray go."

I felt my heart beat through my chest at his words. The thought alone was suffocating. I've tried to will myself to do that...I told my heart that Ray did what he did because he gave up on us...but I don't believe that was why. The way his lips fell on mine...the slow drum of his heart when I lay on his chest...the time we lost in each other’s eyes...it was too real to be a lie.

"He's a married man, Niko. No sliding notes in his door, calling and texting him throughout the day, waiting at our building at ungodly hours or asking me questions about my brother is going to change that."

I felt like my breath was being taken away. The pain I tried to bottle began to roll down my face, but I didn't want to hide it. I didn't care if they saw me cry. My emotion was real. It was the only thing that made me feel human since he walked away.

"Here," Ty muscled, handing me a handkerchief. 

I took it, but only let it dangle in my fingertips. My wet eyes looked right at the snake.

"Have you ever been in love, Yahiko?"

 He didn't answer, his features remained the same.

"If you have, you'd know that when you do, that person imprints themselves on your soul. You're bound for life...and we have been since we were kids. Even when he wasn't in my life...I always saw traces of him in it."

I gathered myself, hearing my voice crack.

"So, I can't just get over him. I'm doing my best to respect his boundaries. I just...I just want to know if he's ok."

After I spoke, I saw the agression fade from Yahiko's face. Instead it was that of concern...it was unlike him.

"He's..." Yahiko's words faded, "not himself these days."

My heart skipped a beat. Why? It's what I wanted to ask...but the words only stuck on my mind.

Yahiko motioned to Ty and Botan, as Botan held open his door and Ty went back to the driver's seat.

"Neither of you are," Yahiko grunted as got in the car. "But I'll send him your regards. What he does with it is his own doing."

With that, the door closed. Botan looked into my pitiful face, coming up close to wipe the tears from my eyes. His lips moved, forming words, but his voice was inaudible. His hand dropped from my face, turning towards the Bentley as he got into the limo.

I clutched the hankerchief, the words finally forming in my mind.

He still loves you, Niko. He needs you.