“You are spiteful,” the ebony-haired sorcerer commented tonelessly as he watched Cory.
Ambrose was referring to Cory wearing Lucian’s clothes instead of Grayson’s. The brown hoodie covered most of his hands so he rolled up the sleeves. Lucian smelled like pine wood – forest-y. The Beta had used the pack link to ask a pack member to get Ambrose to ‘guard’ Cory while he went out. Now the expressionless sorcerer sat in Cory’s kitchen – which the mixed blood suspected was intentional as that was the first place he had thoroughly bleached.
“And you are sadistic,” the halfling shot back just as impassionately, gathering his now dry hair into a ponytail.
“I do not know what you are talking about.” He spoke in that same emotionless voice.
“Putting a spark hex on a sealed bracelet is unnecessary. I already couldn’t have removed it. I suppose you just wanted the thrill of causing pain.”
“Ah… Old habits die hard,” Ambrose explained, sipping his tea.
There was a story behind those words; a tale that needed to be told – at least that’s what Cory had thought. He knew why Joy had sought sanctuary with the Lightpaw pack, admittedly it was rather obscure and vague – like a lie; but he wanted to know what Ambrose’s ‘crime’ was. Perhaps the sadism was the clue…
A knock on the door furrowed Cory’s eyebrows in confusion. At what point did people start knocking to enter his prison cell? The young male ignored the knock and continued staring at the fireplace in stubbornness.
“Enter,” Ambrose called – clearly disregarding Cory’s stubbornness.
Slightly heavy footsteps entered hesitantly, the person shut the door quietly. Cory didn’t have to look to see it was the Alpha. He could smell that it was Grayson, who smelled like fresh spring water – clear – with the undertone of earthy, luscious grass.
“Ambrose, you can leave now.”
“Okay.” The sorcerer got up and left, leaving the two alone in the decaying cottage. Cory could feel Grayson’s gaze on him – like rays of afternoon sunlight; too harsh and very annoying. Yet, he would not meet the blue eyes, the halfling kept his eyes trained on the slowly dying fire. The flames would bounce, they would rise and fall. No rhyme or reason in their dance – just the crackling of their laughter.
“Cory, I’m uh, sorry…” Grayson began – heading for the kitchen stool Ambrose had previously sat on. It was a dingy thing – a dead green cushion supported by frail and splintering dark wood legs.
“Don’t sit there. Ambrose already did and if you do then I’ll have twice as much bleaching to do when you leave.” The mixed blood spoke tonelessly.
“Okay,” Grayson said softly, and settled on just standing in the kitchen. From that angle he could see Cory’s dimly lit face. The lighting in the cottage had lowered immensely – yet the alpha was still able to see Cory’s deep red hair.
Despite the small hut that was sparse in furniture the silence echoed and was only broken by the dying fire’s crackling. Cory kept his eyes fixed on that dying fire. He didn’t want Grayson in there with him. Altogether, he didn’t want to be in that cottage and on these pack lands.
“What do you want Grayson?”
“I want to apologise,” the Alpha repeated.
Cory sat up at this, “For what? For rejecting me? Could it be for kidnapping me? Maybe, it’s for sealing away my magic? Perhaps, it’s for torturing me all night long just so you could smell my scent? Oh! Or, are you apologising for holding me captive?” The halfling’s anger wasn’t hidden, it permeated through the air. As it should; Cory was furious. His warden, tormentor and ex-mate was now apologizing. Grayson was applying a plaster to a bullet hole.
The Lightpaw sighed softly but maintained the eye contact with the mixed blood, “For rejecting you…” He left the sentence there.
Cory chuckled dryly, “It honestly doesn’t matter anymore, so I don’t know why you’re apologising. I’m not your mate anymore it’s done – the mate bond has been severed.”
Grayson took a tentative step forward, “You’re still my mate Cory…”
The scarlet-haired man scowled, “You’re delusional… Beyond that! I’m not your mate, Grayson. Back then, four years ago, I minded my own business. I was alone in this ‘pack’ except for Joy who was the only one who paid me any attention. My ‘pack’ let me freeze in isolation… I was at such a low place that I pitied who ever became my mate – the mate of a wolf that can’t shift…” Cory paused, “And then, there you were; those few seconds when our skin touched I thought you hung the moon. Only for you to pluck it down. Why? Because I’m male and because I can’t shift…”
“I wa-”
Cory continued, “I should actually thank you, Grayson Lightpaw. You taught me a valuable lesson. Even the Moon makes mistakes – and Her mistake was thinking that we could ever be mates.” Cory shook his head, some scarlet strands falling free.
“It wasn’t the Moon that made the mistake, it was me. I just- I’m not gay and-”
Cory grabbed an almost completely melted and extinguished candle on his nightstand and flung it at Grayson, thudding against his chest, “THAT SHOULDN’T MATTER!” The hot wax dried quickly on Cory’s hand but the pain was painless when it wore the wedding veil of anger. “A mate is a mate. You should know that! Even I know that and you’re the Alpha!”
“I know that now!” Grayson spoke with conviction, “I know that now and I want you as my mate.”
“It’s too late for that Grayson… The connection is bro-”
“It’s not, Cory! You are still my mate! I can smell it and I can feel it; you are my mate...”
The flame-haired man hugged his knees to his chest – silence once again hung in the small cottage.
“I’d rather I wasn’t…” Cory eventually whispered. The words were soft, caressing the air yet their meaning sent a blow to Grayson’s gut and needles straight to his heart.
“Please don’t say that… Please don’t ever say that, Cory…”
“It’s true Grayson. The first time you identified me as yours, you were ready to hit me. And now that you consider me as an acceptable mate, I’m stuck in the cottage where the happy days of my childhood used to reside – only to be replaced by painful magic and people stopping me from going home. They stop me from leaving the one place on earth where all I feel is pain,” Cory spoke, raising his head to make eye contact with those blue eyes.
Grayson furrowed his eyebrows in desperation. His fists clenched ever so slightly, “I want to make you happy. I want you to smile and laugh… But I want you to do all those things here…with me.”
“I would have though – I would have gladly stayed here. Then you told me I’m not good enough. Despite how alone I was, I loved this pack – no one in it cared for me or even spoke to me – but I loved it regardless. So when you said that I brought shame to the one place I knew as home, I left it because I loved this pack. I didn’t want to be the eye-sore, the outcast that humiliated anyone belonging to the pack. I found a new home and grew to be happy there – I don’t know how to make it any clearer. I was your mate but I’m not anymore and I want to go home.”
Grayson hurried to Cory’s bed, his heart beat incredibly fast begging to just reach through Cory’s fortress-like walls; pleading to make some kind of breakthrough. He knelt next to the bed, “Tell me how to make it right, Cory! Tell me what to do and I’ll do it! I can’t… I won’t lose you again. I fucked up, okay? I really fucked up. Tell me how I can un-fuck it up?”
Cory gazed into Grayson’s Atlantic-blue eyes and saw the sincerity. He saw the desperation, vulnerability and remorse. An Alpha, his ivory hair tousled effortlessly, his eyes holding pure intent was kneeled next to his bed begging for the scarlet halfling to stay. Cory had always thought he would delight in seeing his ex-mate suffer as he had years ago. Yet, all he felt was pity – a hint of sorrow.
“Grayson… you never lost me because we never were… Whatever feeling you have that tells you I’m your mate is just confusion. You know as well as I do that once a mate is rejected, the Moon accepts and assigns them new ones. And, to answer your question, you can make it right by taking off this bracelet and letting me leave…” Cory decided to further deepen his gentle tone, “You’ll find your new mate and I’ll find mi-”
“No, Cory. That’s usually what happens but I would’ve found them during the four years you were gone. I didn’t, and you still smell like Wisteria. A scent that drives me fucking insane. You’re even more beautiful than four years ago. Your voice relaxes me and, although brief, your touch still feels like heaven. We are still mates.”
Cory sighed in sadness, he placed his pale hand on Grayson’s tan cheek and asked, “Does it feel like heaven now? Is your skin alive?”
Grayson closed his eyes, a soft smile on his lips, “Yes…” He whispered. The tingling sparks heated up his cheek and he marvelled at how smooth Cory’s hand was. The skin on his cheek seemed to affectionately hug the pale skin of Cory’s palm.
“Then why do I feel as if I’m holding an ice-cube? Why does it hurt me?” Cory retracted his hand, clenching his fist to hide the pain.
He listened patiently for an explanation, a logical solution to the icy hurt from the sunkissed Alpha’s skin. He waited for hushed affirmations of how it’s alright and that it’s normal…
“It’ll pass Cory” Grayson would say in his all-knowing tone.
He didn’t get that from Grayson; he got a silent scramble for words instead.
“Exactly. The bond is severed. I… I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about you, Grayson. I do hate you – honest to Goddess. I hate what you did to me, one glance and you made up your mind that I’m not good enough-”
“Ple-”
“I hate that you grabbed me when all I wanted to do was say goodbye to the only mother I had ever known at her eternal resting place,” Cory swallowed thickly and blinked away a silent tear, “I hate that you decided on your own what’s best for me – like taking away my magic and releasing my scent. I hate that you’re keeping me here, away from the home where I had found happiness just for your own sake. Yet… I’m glad you did what you did so long ago because I learned to protect myself. I learned to grow from the pain. I learned to rely on myself and not a pack, Beta or Alpha. So… I don’t know what to feel anymore. What I do know is that I feel sorry for you for thinking that I’m the solution to your problems; I’m not. The only thing to do is to let us find happiness elsewhere – and I hope you can find it; I know you will… It just won’t be with me.” Cory smiled softly at the end; sincere in his wish that Grayson Lightpaw would one day find his happiness be it with or without a mate.
That was the first time the Alpha had seen his mate smile with gentleness. The first glimpse beyond the grey walls that surrounded Cory – admittedly built because of Grayson. The fading warm light in the cabin brought out the magic in Cory’s smile; it unveiled the preciousness of the mixed-blood’s heart. The orange glow of drying fire showed just how special and rare Cory was. Grayson found himself wishing he knew how it would have felt to be loved by the scarlet-haired man.
“I can make you happy here… Cory, I can show you that you can be happy here-” Grayson spoke with determination but the halfling cut him off.
“Grayson, I can’t be with yo-”
“Fuck that! Fuck it. I’d rather you stay here – even if it means we have no contact. Even if it means you can’t be with me. I can make you happy here, even if that means I can’t be a part of it… Please, Cory... Just stay…” Grayson looked down at the ground, desperation had consumed him wholly. Cory watched in a second of silence; the sight truly was sad yet he couldn’t find himself muster up the energy to feel completely sad for the towering man.
“I have a life waiting for me back home… I’m sorry Grayson, but I can’t.”
“I’m sorry too, Cory…” Grayson spoke in a sad voice while raising his head, “But I can’t let you leave… I won’t survive it – not a second time…”
Cory hung his head in defeat, “I’m still being held here after all that.”
“Ju- I ne- Give me a few days. Just give me a few days… and after that, if you want to leave…”
Cory lifted his gaze and met Grayson’s blue ones, “Promise?”
Grayson closed his eyes sadly, “I promise…”
Mate can be happy here, we just need to show him, Apollo spoke softly.
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